Militant Black Toast

By Any Means Necessary

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

They were going to smoke eventually

Let's assume for the sake of this discussion that weed is OK. It's illegal, yes, but if an adult has a valid reason and chooses to smoke, let's just say that's fine. The question now, is when should those adults start smoking weed. Some may say that they should at least be 16-18 years old.

Anyway, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that age 2 -5 is way to young. In my real opinion anyone under 15 is too young to make a wise decision about drugs and no one should offer it to them. These guys in Fort Worth, Texas who gave a 2- and 4-year-old boy a blunt to smoke are WAY out of line. Then this uncle is going to do an interview from jail (a clear sign that he's using a court-appointed attorney) and do an interview saying that these boys were going to start smoking eventually anyway. Word? The police say that the 5 year old is basically a smoker who holds the blunt on his own and puffs correctly. But does he pass? Just kidding. This is serious folks. For anyone who doesn't know, because Donnie Simpson struggled with this on the radio, a blunt is a cigar. Used in this context, the tobacco has been removed from the cigar and the paper has been filled with marijuana.

But wait, please watch the video because he also tries to use the "because I was high" excuse. Like, I was high and it just happened. And he said that it's not like he was the first one to ever say "here, smoke this blunt." So, it sounds like he's trying to say that he didn't really introduce the babies to weed.

CNN is eating these slow folks up. They also had a video of the mother of the two boys. She was sleeping when this happened. She looks like she's about 14, but maybe she's 16. There's almost NO WAY she's 18, based on her appearance. She wasn't really upset. She wants her brother back home and her kids. She thinks that probation is a fitting sentence. So that he can come back to the crib and smoke in front of her kids again, I guess. Oh, and so that he can break into people's houses. The mother and her brother live with their great grandparents. And the great grandparents look younger than my parents, and I'm way older than these kids. It's a sad, sad day.

Enough already...


Jennifer Hudson. I'm happy for her. She's very talented and Simon from "American Idol" didn't notice. So, is this proof that "American Idol" sometimes kicks off people who actually have talent and the ability to succeed? Yes. Did we need this type of proof? No. Can we just move on now? Obviously not. I'm still discussing it.

I've been thinking about the hideous dress that Jennifer was tricked into wearing at the Oscars. Not only was she forced to wear it, they showed a video of her going to fittings and choosing it. They made it look like she'd been styled by the brightest fashionista in the world and that she was the luckiest girl at the Oscars. Actually, Jennifer was victimized. We all saw how horrible she looked. I was embarrassed and kept yelling at the TV, "take the damn jacket off!" I was so sad to see her looking like an extra from a Star Trek episode on the biggest night of her life. The worst thing about that outfit was its timing. EVERYONE was wearing their best. It'd be different if she'd wore that mess to an after party.

Anyway, I think that this is a conspiracy. I'm not big on conspiracy theories, because they're all bullshit for the most part, but this is real. Clearly the high-end fashion world used this chance to kick a big woman down in front of the world. That outfit, which looked like shit to everyone, said, "Hey, this is the best we can do for a big chick. We gave her our best fabrics and look what happened. Couture is clearly for abnormally thin women." Oscar de la Renta should even be a little disappointed with this. Did that dress have pockets?! It sure looks like she had her hand in her pockets. What dress has pockets?! Sorry, the proof to this conspiracy is the fact that Jennifer didn't want to wear the dress. That's why another stylist had Cavalli dress made for her to wear instead but this fancy pants Vogue editor insisted she wear his brown moo moo gown with pockets. Why? Because he'd already promised the fashion world that he'd set this up. Remember that meeting that Mugatu had in that movie Zoolander? It was just like that. The same people who set up Zoolander set up Jennifer Hudson. Clearly.