Militant Black Toast

2008-07-09T23:40:00.000-04:00

Thanks, U.S. Department of Homeland Security

2008-07-09T11:40:00.004-04:00

So, I'm trying to make a comeback and I thought this video was interesting. A former classmate of mine helped produce it. Immigration is an issue near and dear to me because my parents immigrated. But, today immigration policy is focused on our hard-working, Spanish-speaking friends from below the southern border and Latin America.
I'm not really mad at this because I would hate to see popos raiding the kitchen of my favorite Jamaican restaurant and dragging West Indian sitters out of nursing homes. These raids in Maryland are especially foul because they targeted working immigrants.

If you have any interest in immigration you have to check out this Washington Post article about deportees being heavily sedated for no good reason as they travel home. It's a few weeks old but had me fuming when I read it. I didn't really realize that deportation duties now fall under an immigration office within the Department of Homeland Security. That's been the case for a few years now.

One Nigerian man's father came to pick him up from the airport and had to put him in a hotel for days until he felt better. He didn't want the family to see him return home looking so bad. The dude couldn't even speak because he was given an injection. This man wasn't even a violent criminal he was deported for a check fraud charge.
I guess I say all that to say, I love the U.S.A.

Crappy interns and Michael Vick get the gas face

2007-12-11T19:49:00.000-05:00

I peeped out my Google Analytics and decided hmm... someone's reading this crap. So here I am typing instead of preparing a project for my finals. I miss the days where I'd sit at work and blog for 30 minutes...

I think of interesting blog topics all the time. Like the other day when I was at work and got a returned FedEx package from August. The best I can think of is that I asked an intern working with me to send this package out. She messed up the address, FedEx tried to find the office and couldn't because she also forgot to add a phone number, which would help them find the recipient. She only lasted a few weeks, the intern, before she had to quit. But the question that ran through my mind was: How do you manage to make a former employer dislike you more FOUR MONTHS AFTER you're gone?? I thought she sucked when she left and was slowly beginning to realize that she would not improve with time.

She was the poster child for crappy interns. I mean, she found ways to make the simplest shit, i.e. shipping a FedEx envelope, complicated. I couldn't understand what would make a college student with no experience in my field think that she could find a better way of doing a job that I've been doing for years. I would give specific instructions and get almost nothing back because she came up with a harder, more time consuming way of doing something. Sigh... She reminds me of the intern who wore headphones around the office all summer and hated to ask her boss questions. I was thinking, why are you here? This also reminds me of that MTV show The Hills. I caught a few episodes while studying over the weekend. Man, that Lauren girl is an IDIOT. She was an intern at Teen Vogue and chose spending the summer at the beach with her boyfriend over going to Paris for another intern opportunity. Man that was dumb. For any women under 25 reading this, always pick opportunity over boyfriend. If you live this way you'll never regret it.

Hmm, what else? Michael Vick. So he was sentenced to 23 months. Do I care? Eh, not really. I mean, I don't watch football, he's not that cute to me (but he is kinda sexy). Then throw in the fact that he kills doggies in his free time and I'm thinking, "Micheal who is going where?" I could give two turds. I don't think his sentencing is totally fair, but there's a long list of inmates ahead of Vick in my protest queue. I mean, Mumia Abu-Jamal is still in jail. And there are 127 journalists behind bars around the world for simply reporting the truth. I'm supposed to think twice about this dude? I've moved on to R.Kelly's sentencing. Can we get this over with already? If he doesn't get 23 months, I'm going looting. Who's coming with me?

About Kanye's mom

2007-11-14T19:37:00.000-05:00

So, I've been saying this, but I think I can stop repeating myself if I just put it out here in cyberspace.

I was seriously upset about the death of Kanye's mama. I seem to like her more than Kanye, and I don't even know her. The thing about Kanye's mama is that she's such a mom. You know? She's not dying her hair blond every month or trying to steal his shine. She's much like my mom and most people's mamas. For Ye to be such a jerk, but shower so much affection on his mom, she must be cool peoples. A few people in my family have done a little nippin' and tuckin' and it's so routine that you NEVER imagine they won't pull through. That said, I totally sympathized with the scenario. Good mamas want to look good. They have EVERY right to tighten up their tummy surgically. (Fk whoever thinks otherwise, it's not your body.) And these mamas have even more right to their privacy.

I'm personally sickened by "journalists" digging into Ms. West's medical history and calling her doctors to update this story several times a day. Be for real, TMZ.com doesn't give a damn about exposing the truth. They just want to drag a plastic surgeon out into the public and flog him without a trial. If they gave two shits about Kanye's mama, they would write a new story every day, rather than every three hours. Can you imagine sitting at your desk and getting email updates about your mother, auntie, boss, friend who just died suddenly? Have a friggin heart.

I can respect the outlets, such as "Good Morning America" who use this tragic event to explore the dangers of plastic surgery or share some helpful information with people. But the tone and frequency of TMZ.com reports, the only ones I'm reading because I'm getting forwards, is simply disgusting.

I actually feel sorry for Kanye not only because he lost his mom, but also because I know he never loved the media in the first place. Now, this. Honestly, she's not a celebrity. She's not guilty by association. When she dropped her book, no one really cared. Now she's some sort of pop culture icon? My ass!

Ellen Pompeo and hubby keep it light

2007-11-14T19:03:00.000-05:00

I thought Ellen Pompeo was responding to Hollywood's pressure to be rail thin. Now, I see that her husband, music producer Chris Ivery, was probably the source of her weightless look. I bet money they put their future kids on the Anna Nicole Smith sexy baby diet.

Supporting the troops

2007-09-24T11:34:00.001-04:00

So, I'm reading this book called The Long Road Home by Martha Raddatz. It's a really well-written story that follows soldiers from their base in Texas to Baghdad in 2004. Man, I'm not in favor of the war but I always said that I support the troops. What's interesting is that, while I support the troops for just doing their jobs no matter how silly their boss may be at times, I didn't get the magnitude of their bravery until I read this book.

I'm not even done reading it, but the point is that she puts a face on the numbers that we hear on the news. These guys probably represent most of the 20-30,000 serving in Iraq now. They're dads and very young and most of these guys had never shot anyone, never been shot at, never seen a dead body. One doctor was a pediatrician who had never seen a bullet wound. Then they arrive for their "peace keeping mission" and end up in a gun battle. It's just crazy because they were TERRIFIED. And this book gets that point across. They also didn't have the armor and vehicles they needed, but I won't even go into all of that.

I've always said that I support the troops and that's why I'd like to see them return to their families. After reading these stories, I have to really give it up to military wives. What they go through is like a breakup that won't end for a year. I can't imagine loving someone and then seeing them go off to war or "keep peace" in Iraq.. I've always assumed that military people don't have strong political views, which helps them to their jobs, so I doubt they dislike the war. Of course, when it hits home it doesn't seem like it matters one way or the other how you feel about the war. These guys in the book don't all make it home, some came back missing parts because they were attacked.. and just as depressing as the attack is that they were surprised. They thought the people would be happy to get their help since the war had ended a year ago

Rocking all black today

2007-09-20T11:25:00.000-04:00

I'm excited that the Jena 6 is finally getting some mainstream news coverage. Sure they may have mentioned it before, but ABC and other outlets have flown reporters in to cover the march. They even asked the President about it today in a press conference. He wasn't really trying to make a statement about it race relations. He said he wants justice to be fair or something like that. He focused on the judicial process that may have failed, but avoided the racism that caused its failure. Typical.

I'm off to the March in DC.. as a reporter. I know I've always been a journalist, but I've recently learned that news reporters can't march and support causes. Boy this is going to be tough.

I rest my case...

2007-08-30T13:21:00.000-04:00

Thanks to the sad situation down in Louisiana that is known widely as the case of the "Jena 6," I can finally stop arguing that racism is still alive. It's very official, and now all I have to do is utter two words to naysayers who think there's no need for affirmative action or programs that aim to improve race relations: "Jena Six" Then I'll throw my hands in the air and say, "What? What do you have to say now?"

If you don't know about this situation, Google it, I'm going to assume no one reading this blog has been living under a rock or too wrapped up in their own life to notice this case.... Actually, most people who read this blog either have ample free time or they suffer from severe A.D.D and procrastination issues. Anyway, where was I...

Oh yeah, A fucking whites-only tree?? The only thing that black people exclusively are a bunch of greasy-ass haircare products that barely work. Why does any race deserve their own damn tree?

Now black minors ages 15-17 are facing 100 years in prison?? One of the boys is already convicted and facing 22 years for a schoolyard fight that was incited by ongoing racial tension at Jena High school. The white classmate they allegedly tried to murder was doing well enough to attend a school function later that day.

You would think that Jena officials simply don't tolerate fighting and violence, but earlier in a school year a black student was beaten for attending a whites-only party that he was invited to (or so I hear). Um, skip the outrageous hate crime and notice how territorial white people in this town are.

Just as I sit here thinking what I've written I see this quote from a Jena resident on the Democracy Now website.

ACQUIE SOOHEN: Most people we spoke to in Jena’s white community, however, see no connection between the students’ charges and race. Barbara Murphy, the town librarian, claims there isn’t a race problem in Jena.
BARBARA MURPHY: We don’t have a race problem. It’s not black against white. It’s crime. The nooses? I don’t even know why they were there, what they were supposed to mean. There’s pranks all the time, of one type or another, going on. And it just didn’t seem to be racist to me.

I can believe this is still going on, because of silly people like Murphy, but I have a hard time believing that the justice system still hasn't constructed a full-proof mechanism that can stop racism in the courts.

If people of all races can't get justice in the courts of this country then everyone shouldn't have to abide by the law. It's a little radical, but hey, I'm blogging.

If you're not going to get fair treatment in the courts, then you shouldn't have to follow rules. I know a lot of people who already subscribe to this idea. They live life as they please because they know that the chips aren't going to fall in their favor no matter what.

Anyway, I hope that people of all races can get behind this case and say enough is enough. Racism in the U.S. is completely out of hand. It will never disappear, but younger generations shouldn't have to deal with it on this level.

Another one bites the dust...

2007-08-27T10:59:00.000-04:00

Well, well, well... look who's stepping down. Ol' attorney general Alberto Gonzales. He said something like this in his goodbye:

Let me say that it's been one of my greatest privileges to lead the Department of Justice [into the ground]. I have great admiration and respect for the men and women who work here [minus those people I fired unjustly].

Is it just me or does Gonzales remind you of that guy in the Will Smith movie Enemy of the State? He's been caught (or accused of) lying to congress about why he fired those U.S. attorneys and misusing terrorist surveillance programs. Naughty, naughty.

Well, I'm glad to see him go. I wonder if any Latinos feel like he's messed it up for others given a chance to hold a high position? I seriously doubt it, because I think he behaved as any member of the good ol' boy club would.

How many resignations will this administration see before the man behind all these guys gets questioned? I know he didn't put our country in harms way by lying about getting head from a White House intern, but I think we can find something he's lied about if we dig deep enough.

Mickey got me good...

2007-07-26T13:51:00.000-04:00

So I won't bore you with the details of my hectic life, but trust me: I have WAY more to do that shoot the shit on MBT these days. Still, I've been guilt tripped into posting.

Last weekend was a glorious one. I felt like Young Jeezy at Magic City making it rain. Only, I was making it rain by throwing dollars at Mickey Mouse and taking it in the rear with no lube at Sea World. Yes, I went to Orlando and attempted to give my nephew and niece the dream vacation of going to Disney. It was kind of like I was the ho and Disney corporation was my pimp. I worked hard for my cash and then went to Orlando and gave it to Walt and his boys. It was really grandma's idea to reward this her first grandson with a trip to Disney for his graduation gift. Um, he's just going to middle school, isn't that required? Anyway, I'm just saying that I don't recall getting shit for moving on to middle school. I was doing good to get a new Cross Colors shirt to rock on the first day! Furthermore, what the hell happens to women when their children have children? I found myself wondering that several times as I watched my mom interact with my nephew.

My mama was NO JOKE when I was growing up. When she would chaperon trips for my school or at church, my friends would be like, ugh how do you live with her? She's SO MEAN! But she wasn't as mean to me because I kept my ass in line. It's a wonder I found my voice because children weren't allowed to have voices and make choices in my house. Fast forward to 2007 and my brother's son not only has a voice, he rolls thunder with it. If grandma even thinks he wants something he gets it. When he wastes food and me and my sister fuss at him, grandma steps in to defend him, "He doesn't have a big appetite." Well, why the hell did we let him order this big ass meal? SIGH... Anyway.. I just think it's crazy.Furthermore, I can't wait to have my kids so that I can send them to grandma's house for all the freedom they can stand. Then my home can be a little kingdom where my children only study, do chores and obey [yeah right].

No but seriously, he's cute, but my nephew is no saint. And there were times when I was looking at my mom, peering into her eyes to make sure that she hadn't had her body snatched. I mean, I felt like saying, "Who are you?! Where's my mom?" I would tense up anticipating the punishment for my nephew and nothing. I'd wait for the next offense, like, oh she's gonna embarrass him this time... wait for it... NOTHING! So, my sister and I did all the screaming and grandma was the protector.

Back to Disney. We went too late the first day so we couldn't do everything. Then on the Sea World day it rained. Hard.. I don't know if you've been in this situation before. I mean, as a paying adult. Here's how it goes: You fork over about $70 for yourself and $50 + for the children, only to get rained on. Then you have to watch the wind disappear from their sails when they realize that they can't move on to the next ride or feed the dolphins. The guilt is just so painful.. THEN comes the complaints. "I want to ride this! I didn't get to do that. I'm so upset."

OH REALLY? You're upset? Well let me see you bank account so we can determine how much you've lost, oh wait, you don't have a fucking bank account! So all you lost was time that you would have spent playing video games or swimming? Let me show you what I lost while standing in the rain. Grown folks have to feel me on this. I'm out here feeling slight disappointment for them missing out on stuff, but then there's the money that I spent and the lack of memories. I remember my first trip to Disney. I was 5 and it was really magical. I got a Minnie doll and my dad ate all the doughnuts and the sandwiches got all wet from the ice in the cooler. I was devastated by those things, so that let's you know how my parents got down. So while I really felt horrible that the kids didn't get to see everything, I had to shut down all whining. I just couldn't take it on top of the guilt and the financial loss.

Furthermore, can I just say that the money being spent at these parks is sickening? I was on the ferry returning to the car and overheard a little Latina girl asking this little white girl's mom how much it cost her to get made into a princess. "It was $200," she replied. "But that includes the photos, the clothes, makeup, hair and shoes." Riiight.... on top of food and souvenirs and entry. Forget about it! And she wasn't the only princess in the park. There were lots of little kids who had been transformed. I was like, Damn. I need to get into the theme park business.

Disney is magical, but I'm over it. I refuse to return without my own children. Don't even ask.

If had an Usher

2007-07-18T11:53:00.000-04:00

This image shows Usher's fiancee Tameka Foster broadcasting her thoughts as he poses for a photo with what appears to be a fellow celeb. I don't know who this is... It doesn't matter. Even if she's just a fan, you have to share when you have a man like Usher. I would understand that, ahem. My baby could pose nude with chicks for all I care, as long as he comes home to the mansion and respects our relationship... and as long as it's tasteful, of course.

I have nothing....

2007-07-17T13:52:00.000-04:00

So... all is well here. Today is hot. I usually like hot, but I've had to walk outside a few times and my air conditioner is being fixed again, hopefully for the last time. The AC repair guy isn't wearing his red shirt today, in case you were wondering.

I'm watching 24-hour news on my lunch break. The big news today is Chris Benoit's toxicology results.... Why do we have to prove that this is roid rage? Can't he just be a crazy-ass murderer? Sadly, they discovered that his 7-year-old son was drugged with Xanax and sedated before he was killed. The whole family was on Xanax actually.

Also, the Senate is pulling an all-nighter. It seems that the Democrats are planning to talk the Republicans to death before they start filibustering on Wednesday to block the vote that could pull the troops out of Iraq. Of course, this is being labeled a stunt because there's no way they get enough votes to win. Maybe it's the cots. I have to go out on a limb and say it's a waste of time since the Republicans won't be listening anyway. I wonder how many people really change their minds based on what is said in Congress. It seems that they only make decisions for strategic reasons and most legislators have their minds made up before people even start talking.
This has to be the hardest work day that Senators will face all year. Overall, it is very exciting! I haven't seen anything this exciting since Clinton's impeachment trial. Now, THAT was political theater.

Then there's a story about where day laborers should wait for pick up trucks to scope them for work. I live near one of these pick up spots in D.C... It seems to make people angry... but it doesn't bother me. They're just sitting there, under the trees in the Home Depot parking lot. If I need help painting my accent wall, I can just scoop a day laborer up and buy a couple gallons of paint in the same parking lot. Sweet. One guy from DC was on MSNBC and he was saying that he doesn't like the solution that the city has proposed, which is to build a day labor center nearby and let people pick up laborers there. He's like, they call it multicultural, but everyone knows that they're after the illegal immigrants and non-English speaking workers... Well, duh, those are the cheap ones right? It's kinda sad because those who will work really hard for little money seem to steal jobs from lazy Americans who want to make at least minimum wage... And for some reason, that's supposed to be unfair. No, it is unfair. Everyone should make minimum wage.

Blackie

2007-07-05T20:26:00.000-04:00

When I was a kindergartner I had a best buddy named Shannon. If I think hard I can remember her last name, but it doesn't matter. Shannon rode the school bus with me and lived in the same neighborhood. We'd debate over whether I was black or brown. She'd say black, I'd argue brown. I mean, duh, can't you SEE my color? One day we were coloring on the bus and a brown crown rolled over and stopped by my hand, boom! I proved that I matched the crayon and Shannon couldn't deny it. Later during that school year she got into lots of trouble for using the N-word in class.. So, at last, while she may have believed I was brown, another black kid in class fit the description of a nigger, a word that she told our teacher she had learned from her dad.

Debating over skin tone is stupid and childish. Black is a race, not a skin tone (5-year-old me didn't know that. Shannon was right). Yet, the jokes prevail...and finally dark Americans embrace derogatory nicknames like Smoke and Black. It can be cute, now that dark skin people are "in style." But when an old-school person calls you "Blackie," as a superior in my office did earlier today, you know exactly what it means. When someone calls me "dark meat" or "blackie" I can only assume that you subscribe to the belief that black is ugly and problematic. This older black person went on to question whether I've been hanging out in the sun. I said, yes. I've been to the beach lately. Really? What beach do you go to? I share the locations and think the convo is over. Then a few seconds later, "So you actually sit in the sun?" Um, yes, I replied. I have a summer complexion and a winter complexion and I love them both. Why do I have to justify this?

I haven't given two shits about my complexion since, well, puberty. It never held me back and as people matured it wasn't much of an issue. Of course, I did have ignorant family members asking me to stay out of the sun as if I'd ruin myself for the entire summer by tanning. Anyone who grew up on the dark side, and caught hell for it, knows that it takes maturity on your part to realize that beauty comes in every shade. I'm over it. The sun is my friend. Then comes this dinosaur calling me blackie and implying that I must be crazy to sit my black ass in the sun. Well, fuck you! That's what I would have said if this person didn't have the power to make me broke. Luckily I have experience taking direction from ignorant leaders... I should put that shit on my resume. Speaking of my resume, I won't even go into how very unprofessional it is to throw around these types of comments in an office setting. I think that goes without saying. Beyond that, if black is ugly what else is it? Stupid? I can't help but wonder how this perception affects this person's opinion of me and other dark skinned employees.

The major problem with this type of ignorance is that it really heats me up. I was sitting at my desk fuming looking for IM buddies to talk to for at least an hour.

Nicole Richie is preggers

2007-07-05T11:00:00.000-04:00

So, I just recently developed a liking for babies. They're so cute.. now that I'm older. So I'm happy for Nicole Richie if she's going to have a baby with Joel Madden, but a few questions popped into my mind:
1. Can a fetus have an eating disorder?
2. Can her frame carry a child?
3. Why would you have raw sex with a Madden brother?
4. Will DJ AM be taking a paternity test?

What a Wuss

2007-06-28T15:24:00.000-04:00

Today is pretty ordinary. I went to lunch today for the first time all week. Hooray for my budget! I had to bring my laptop to lunch and get some work done. I ordered food with no questions asked, which is major for me. I usually ask at least two questions, but I knew what I wanted because I always get the same turkey burger. I know you really care about these details, that's why I share.

Anyway, my waiter is this hippy dude. I think he's hitting the peyote too hard because he was slow moving. Sure it could have been the other guest in there getting to him, but I like to imagine he's just stoned. I mean, he fumbled my ketchup request. I had to get up and ask him for it, then when it didn't arrive in a timely fashion (food's getting cold and I refuse to eat w/out my condiment of choice) I have to get up again and ask someone else.

Finally, I'm done and he drops the check. Thanks. I meant to pay immediately, but got wrapped up in my work. So this other waitress comes by and says, "Can you pay this. The other guy has to go and needs to close the blah blah blah blah blah..." She's giving me far too much info. I almost snapped like, "I GOT IT! Please go away!" I don't need a dissertation on how shift change works, no one does. I simply forgot the check was sitting there. So I put down my card, she takes it and guess who brings it back? Hippie boy.. Well, look who's here! What have you done for me lately? Nothing, that's what.

I think this dude was waiting on me to pay my bill and bitching to his co-worker, who took matters into her own hands and asked me to pay. She reminds me or me, if you know what i mean, so I didn't appreciate it. What a punk! Bring yo twinkie-filling ass over and ask me to pay... By the time someone else does it she was already frustrated with me, meanwhile I'm innocent. I was never formally asked to pay. This reminds me of when I was a waitress and assholes would be pissed because they didn't get something that they never asked me to bring. An empty glass of water, I can understand, it's obvious. You're missing a side of mashed potatoes? Give me fking break. Just let me know and I'll get you some, problem solved. But people would get really grumpy with me for not recognizing a minor detail. Sigh.

The waitress who went too far in asking me to pay the check is a problem solver. I ain't mad at her. The waiter who didn't have the balls to interrupt me is someone who avoids conflict, but really there was no conflict to avoid. Part of me couldn't help but think that he assumed I was difficult to approach, which is why his problem solver felt the need to break down the importance of paying the check.

This waiter's weakness disturbs me. It's bigger than missing ketchup and slow paying customers. The world would be a better, less stressful place if people didn't waste so much time complaining and brooding, and spent more time developing solutions to their problems. Complaining can be helpful because sometimes when I hear myself complaining it's the first time I realized that I really have a problem that needs to be solved. Then I solve it.

I could wrap this up with a word of advice, but why the hell should you listen to me?

BET's borderline ghetto awards show

2007-06-27T11:38:00.000-04:00

Last night I watched the BET awards live. Yes, it will air no less than 20 times before Friday but I wanted to see it first. Plus, I didn't have anything else to do.

Before it started I was on the phone with someone and told them that's what I'd be watching. They called it the "ghetto awards show." And I didn't feel like arguing—yes, there is a point in the day when I just get tired of shit talking—so I let him have that. If I had the strength I would have asked him what makes the show ghetto. Is it because black people are in charge and anything black-run has a ghetto stigma attached to it? People are so quick to call black-owned things ghetto, but when they open their business they expect everyone to support. Whatever.

Anyways, I watched the show and about half way through I was like.. man, this is kind of ghetto. By the time 50 Cent's big performance came around, I was through. They say that 100,000 people voted on what song 50 should perform. He has anti-gravity chicks swirling in mid-air hanging onto fabric and when it's time for him to rap the first verse, there's no background vocals. The track playing in the background was an instrumental that only had a hook in it. Clearly 50 wasn't prepared for this. He kept saying, "yeah, come on... yeah.." Then he dropped the f-bomb on live TV.. "What the fuck?" He walked into the crowd and dapped everyone up.. then the chorus came back and he sang along. So, the second verse he was prepared to rap for himself. (I think...) But how about the DJ who was standing there as the instrumental played... he was just chilling as if he has NO control over the music. PLEASE oh PLEASE don't tell me that we have to put up with non-stop lip syncing AND phony DJs that stand behind turntables like a prop! If that DJ was in control, we would have seen him listening to his headphones, cuing the correct song or shuffling through CDs, since vinyl is played out. Oh.. so 50 sat down on the stage before the song ended.. Before the music stopped you could hear him say into the mic, "it doesn't matter anymore."Which I thought was funny! It sure as hell didn't.

In all fairness, this wasn't too different from what happened to Ashley Simpson on "SNL" when her band "played the wrong song" and she did the Ho Down dance. But 50 wasn't the only artist with sound issues last night. I'm sitting there like, this NEVER happens at the MTV awards.

Overall I liked the show. There were too many "surprises" and Mo'Nique and Beyoncé got old to me.. but whatever. I loved Don Cheadle's speech, T.I.'s speech (he apologized for fighting with Luda's manager after Kevin Lyles's party) and Diana Ross's speech (she told young female singers that she's proof that you don't have to be raunchy and strip down to have longevity in this business). While I kind of think Diana's out of touch with the industry in this regard, I thought it was awesome that a legend in the game said that to all of these girls struggling to be half naked and "classy" at the same time. It's hard! I know I can't do it.

Anyway.. that's what I thought. BTW, I watched the show on my new flat screen TV and it made everyone look so fat! A coworker of mine says that HD and flat screens have that effect on people. Half way through the show I was like, what are these chicks eating? Ashanti, Lil Kim and Beyonce looked way more hippy than before. But today I saw pictures online and they're not that bad.. Except for Lil Kim.. And Jennifer Hudson's kangaroo pouch was still visible in photos. I love her though. She was my favorite star last night. I thought she was believably shocked at the awards that she won. Good for her!

I don't think BET's show is ghetto, but it sure as hell isn't executed as flawlessly as other shows and being new isn't really an excuse in year seven. It's walking the ghetto line. It's kind of in the territory of where I live. My section of the street is okay, but if you walk a few blocks away, watch out. There's plenty of room for improvement, kind of like my street. Ghetto awards shows that can't be helped and should be avoided are VIBE Awards and Source Awards, hell even the Soul Train Music Awards.

Blue collar slob

2007-06-27T03:14:00.000-04:00

So.. my AC went out over the weekend. At first it was nothing major because I like it hot, but last night when I was sweating in my skimpies, it got out of hand. I say all that to say that I'm very grateful to the AC repair man who came out today. He came out last time this happened too.. wearing the same T-shirt no less. It must be the red T that he wears when he's coming to see me. Of course, the stains all over it kind of look like he wears this shirt EVERY day.

He also has the infamous "plumber's crack" which I had the pleasure of checking out the first time he came through. I really barely saw him this time. But he's very, very large and slobby. Normally I wouldn't let someone who looked like that into my crib. But everytime I open the door and see this mound of a slob standing there, he barely has to convince me that he's the AC repair guy. It's like.. understood. Maybe he wears that dirty red shirt so that people will always recognize him?

I don't know. But I wonder if we should hold our repair men to higher standards of cleanliness. I mean, sure they do a great job either way, but damn. He's really f-king dirty! Now, I'm not being a total snob about this. My father is a blue collar man. He actually works in the maintanence dept for a factory as a welder and some days he gets pretty dirty.
But you know what? He comes home and washes thoroughly, then the next day, he puts on fresh clothes. Even back when he wore identical blue shirts that had his name on them, they were all clean. What's more.. he wears a belt to work EVERY day. He has work belts and dress up belts. So, I'm not being unreasonable or ignorant about the toll that hard labor can take on a person. I just wish for once I could open the door for a hot, clean-shaven AC repair guy wearing a clean t-shirt.. maybe with some pecs like 50 Cent.. you know, like they do in the flicks. He'd say.. I hear it's hot and steamy in here. LOL.. and well.. I'd curse him out for getting fresh with me.

What's wrong with people?

2007-06-21T11:47:00.000-04:00

I've never been so hyped by other people's emotions that they become my own. I don't know if I'm built for a mob moment, but there are a few people in Austin, TX who are.

Surely you've heard that a 40-year-old man was beaten to death after the car he was riding in his small child. The kid wasn't killed and didn't have life threatening injuries. The reports say that the driver got out to check on the kid, which seems like the right thing to do. Then a mob of people confronted him, so his passenger David Morales got out to help the driver. They beat him to death- over what? Trying to help a friend who was trying to help a kid he accidentally struck? I wonder if they feel stupid now that it's all over and he's dead and the child lives on? I hope someone turns them in. They clearly need to be caged up.

Accidents happen and people can't just beat each other - not even a little bit- just because they're upset. I had a friend who got hit by a car in New Orleans. We were walking together and I got out of the way, but she didn't see the crazy girl coming. I was mad. I cursed at the dumb girl, asked her if she was crazy, told her that she did it on purpose since she clearly had her eyesight in tact. Wait, where am I going with this? Oh, right. I didn't whoop her ass. And I think that I could have taken her.. I could have AT least gotten in a cheap shot, but what would that do for me? My friend wasn't that hurt. I wasn't even that mad. Everything was OK. Just like this little kid in Austin is OK. People get hit by cars like every day. But of course, the reaction wasn't normal because there were so many people around. A homicide division commander from Austin said, when a few people lose control, it can spread quickly to others in the crowd. What a shitty way to go. I feel for his family.

Now you have to worry about getting fked up if you have an accident.

Go away, Don

2007-06-20T14:10:00.000-04:00

Today I would like to say that I'm officially tired of hearing about the Don Imus controversy. I don't really want to discuss his comments or the shock waves they sent through the community. Please let this nonsense die. Words are only as painful as you make them. On second thought, I don't mind continuing to talk about the low-life language on the airwaves and removing stripper music from the radio. Just leave Don out of it.

Also.. I need to know what's up with these ghetto prom emails. I saw another one today and I'm starting to just stop believing that these kids think they're going to the prom. I mean, the ghetto's idea of getting dressed up can't be that far off from the rest of society. I tried to get the name of the high school out of one of these pictures but this boy's hat was too big. Here's the thing, I think they're having a costume ball or maybe a homecoming event. But government cheese and powdered milk, which I've consumed, doesn't have the same effect as paint chips when you eat them. You can't tell me that living in the ghetto means you think stripper wear is formal wear. I want to call one of these schools and get to the bottom of it. I think that if allowed to tell their side of the story, they'd be glad to explain what we're looking at in these pictures. If you know these kids.. please step in and tell everyone the truth.

Craziest thing I've heard lately.. Eastern Michigan university lied and told the parents of a female student who was found dead in her dorm room that she died of natural causes after a freak accident. Then 10 weeks later they turn around and tell the parents and the campus that they had secretly conducted a criminal investigation and arrested a fellow student for the rape and murder of this same girl. I've heard of schools trying to protect their image, but this is extreme. How could they let a monster capabale of rape and murder roam their campus for months without alerting the student body?? How could they NOT tell the parents the truth?
CRAZY!

Trying not to be a stranger

2007-06-19T13:14:00.001-04:00

So.. this weekend I went to Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, VA. It's not as cool as the Tampa version of the park, but it's aight. And I can drive to it. It's not all about roller coasters at this park, but Tampa has lots of animals to keep you busy in between roller coasters. So, I'm thinking.. I haven't been since I was a kid. I'll drink beer. I mean it is Anheuser-Busch's park. This company brews more than 60 varieties of beer and pu$$y drinks like Bacardi Silver, Doc's Hard Lemonade and O'Douls. Let's not even talk about the microbrews & int'l brands they're distributing. What do they serve in their amusement parks? A cute selection of Bud Light, Amber Bock, Budweiser, O'Douls, probably Michelob. I don't even remember.. the point is that it was a weak and limited selection. They get a thumbs down for not serving a wider selection and two thumbs down for selling their own beer at a higher price in their OWN park than outside retailers. Give us a break. Adults pay $50 at least and you can't give us a discount on beer? OK, I understand the bottle prices could be set, but I can't get a deal on the drafts? Geesh..

The other thing that struck me, and other people I overheard, was the amount of people who brought infants and newborns out to the park in 90+ degree weather. Why? It's hot and they're just eating and pooping. Now you're changing diapers and breast feeding in the hot-ass sun. Babies don't want salty breast milk! (Clearly I don't know anything about breast feeding, but I know that the body gets salty tasting in the heat.) Seems like a good excuse to save $50 and watch the baby in the hotel.

Hmm.. what else? I had one of those Stouffer's Corner Bistro panini sandwiches for lunch. Man, if you haven't tried it and your pockets are slim, these things are pretty damn good. First they've utilized this trippy technology that makes your microwave act like a grill. It's a silver-color paper disc that the sandwich sits on. Then when you fold it up you see that the plate left little streaks and it looks like it's been grilled. I was impressed. This was my second one and it didn't let me down.

I've clearly ran out of shit to discuss.. talk to ya later.

More Michael Moore

2007-06-13T16:37:00.000-04:00

I ran across this neat article on Newsweek.com and it's about Michael Moore giving $12,000 to his biggest hater. This guy runs a popular anti-Michael Moore Web site and he started posting about
how he's nearly bankrupt because of his wife's medical bills. Mike's new documentary shows the posts and the fact that he got the money, but he never knew until recently that the money was from the man he hates the most, my BFF Michael Moore.

When they guy was tipped that the money could be from Michael Moore, he came off all grumpy as if to say, thanks, jerk.

If this was Moore behind it all, then I have to say...nice try, dude, but I’m not going to play your game. You can call it a cost of promotion. This site has sold more books and DVDs for you than that $12,000 could ever buy. You’ve gotten your money’s worth. If it was you, Mikey...your $12,000 doesn’t buy my silence. It won’t buy my affection, nor will I shy away from talking about whatever may or may not be in your new film. I’ll still be the same guy, expressing my opinion and trying his best to research facts you tend to skip over or ignore.

That is just part of his response. Of course, he's a little more grateful and understanding of Michael's motives in his interview with Newsweek.

In the end it reduced the stress on my wife, and taking away even one of her worries—in this case it made it possible for us to pay off everything faster than we'd planned—is worth a lot. Besides, Mike's not the devil or anything. It's not like Joe Stalin made me an offer! He's a guy who sees value in us being out there, analyzing his work and asking questions.

I don't care who gives me $12,000 in a time of need. I would be happy. Despite that person's motives, your need for that cash was greater.

That's not journalism

2007-06-13T12:35:00.000-04:00

Hey folks.. There aren't any real burning issues on my mind today, but someone notified me last night that "ni-&as in the streets" check MBT on a regular basis [yeah, right] and when there isn't a new post they feel.. less than. Or like an ass for wasting their time. There there.. I'll talk shit about someone for those who enjoy reading it.

Today, broadcast journalist/lawyer Chris Cuomo of ABC's "Good Morning America" tops my shit list. I watch GMA every day.. it's just my thing. Even when they piss me off or bore me to death with non-news coverage I rarely turn the channel like I should.

I have a like/hate relationship with Chris Cuomo, who's kinda new to the team. He first pissed me off with his highly-opinionated coverage of the Duke Lacrosse team Rape case. Oh, he just new stripper girl was lying and that these kids had done nothing wrong. At least, that's what his coverage of the event implied.

This week he's going at my boy, the Oscar winning documentarian Michael Moore. He did an interview with Michael that's being broken into segments and today was the second one. In case you haven't heard, Michael's new movie Sicko medical is hitting theaters soon. He's taking on the health care industry and the media's coverage of it. Anyway, Chris is going at Michael all hard in the interview like he's releasing a sex tape starting the Cuomo clan. I mean, tell us why your mad, son. Chris is like "Why'd you take sickly 9/11 clean up workers to Cuba?" and Michael's like, "I didn't take them to Cuba, I took them to Guantanamo Bay, where detainees receive free health care." These people were sick and he wanted to make a point that people we should assume are criminals (or have thought about committing crimes against the U.S.) are receiving treatments for free and the 9/11 workers who have respiratory illnesses from the clean up can't afford health care.

Chris was like, that's a stunt. You knew they weren't going to let you in. Michael was like, it's not a stunt, I'm making a point. Chris retorts, "But that's not journalism." Whoa. Who are you to define what is and isn't journalism?? He's a documentarian and opinionated interviews like Chris Cuomos aren't shining examples of journalism either.

I like Mike Moore. I don't agree with everything he does or says, but he's entertaining and very effective at exposing the problems within our democracy that's supposed to be an example for all nations. We bring freedom, justice and democracy to the world, meanwhile I just watched a news story about a lady who died in the waiting room at a hospital after spitting up blood for about 45 mins. She died in front of her husband and other poor schmucks waiting for "emergency care." They were calling 911 and 911 operators were like, "Um, you're at the hospital. Tell them she's dying." That's not really the point, but Mike is trying to expose the problems with our health care system at a critical point in the election process. Good for him.

Chris Cuomo is just jealous that people don't listen to him like they do Michael Moore. And because he doesn't have any facial hair. That's not Mikes fault, Chris! He's also probably jealous that he isn't able to share his political opinions fearlessly like Moore. Moore is my friend, if he were sick I'd bring him ice cream like Forrest did for Lieutenant Dan. (Since he's trying to lose weight to cut down on the cost of health care, maybe I'd bring him frozen yogurt.) If I were sick, Moore would probably bring me ginger tea, which always makes me feel better. And then he'd rub my forehead and tuck me in and read a book while I slept.

Then today on GMA, Michael is defended whatever statements he made in the film about the media's coverage of health care issues and the war in Iraq. I'm not clear on what he said and refuse to pause and research right now, but the point is that Chris got all puffy and told Michael not to talk about "this house." "This is the house of Bob Woodruff." Chris defended the honor of the many journalists who've been injured and killed while covering the war in Iraq. Michael didn't say shit about Bob. And Chris knows good and damn well that wasn't what he was trying to do. Michael made his disclaimer and paid a compliment to Woodruff's specials that have ran since he's feeling better.

Anyway, it bothered me to see Chris go at my friend like that. I mean, next time I have Michael over for dinner, we're SO going to make jokes about Chris. I'm going to set up a large picture of him and we can use a magic marker and draw little horns on his head and a funny mustache. It'll be great.

But then, the interview was over and the show moved on and Chris made a funny and I laughed. Chris also made funnies while talking with Michael Moore and Michael laughed. So I think, sometimes, he's not such a prick. But any time he tries to be all "big time exclusive interview journalist" he goes all bitchy with it. I'm like, who's your idol Bill O'Reilly? And while I'm on the subject. Does any one else who gives a shit notice how his posture changes when he does cooking segments with TV One chef G. Garvin? "Hey, you Jive Turkey, this chicken wing is dynomite! Who taught you to cook so good?" lol. It's actually not that bad, but he could tone it down a little.

That's how I feel about that. ... So there. I blogged

Death isn't funny.. But

2007-06-04T17:10:00.000-04:00

Today I got the sad news that Tony Thompson, lead singer of the group Hi-Five, has transitioned. That's new school old folks term for dying. They call it transitioning... Anyway, it's sad because it's unexpected, he's 31 and people love him. I'm not sad because I felt no connection and people die all the time-it'd be unrealistic for me to be too sad. Maybe that's why I found reading his myspace pages slightly humorous today. Lately everyone's been going to Myspace when tragedy strikes. I did it when VA Tech got shot up. It's an easy way for people to reach out and say, I'm okay. Or send condolences. I've noticed the news reporters will use the posts in their stories too.

BUT, when the news is Tony Thompson found dead at 31, possibly over a drug overdose. You shouldn't be addressing him directly as if he's alive on Myspace. I mean, I just got a slight chuckle out of the many many people saying, "I can't believe you're gone when I was just listening to you." Um, can you believe that Tupac is gone? Ok, bad example. Even I can't believe Pac is gone.

The post that inspired this post: "Oh I forgot one more thing, I was shocked to find out that you had died."

I know that death is extremely hard to take, so I'm not laughing at the death or the sadness and shock that makes people say silly things. But you gotta admit, it's silly. It gets super silly when you notice how many people are still posting directly to someone who's been gone for a whole weekend. Groupies professing their love.

Anyways, I bet it's therapeutic. Here's what I'm wondering. You know how in movies, the dead people always try to attend their own funerals and see people crying? It's kind of Hollywood, but I'm sure most of us kinda sorta hope we can watch our own funerals. Okay, just me? Whatever.

So, now I'm like. Can dead people read myspace posts? Obviously, this guys fans and friends think so. I'd like to read my myspace page when I'm gone. Hollywood hasn't really tackled that in film yet, but there's a lot of love on Myspace and there's more room for comments than at a funeral. How ill would that be if someone got a response from beyond? I mean, we may want to get some supernatural types on this. Cause if I can communicate to someone in the afterlife via email or something, I'm ready. Well, I haven't lost many technically savvy people yet, but I know as time moves on everyone will know how to log on and send notes.

A condom he really won’t want to wear

2007-05-18T14:08:00.000-04:00

I was reading an AOL Black Voices blog and they were talking about this new condom that’s about to hit the market in South Africa. It’s called Rape-X, a condom that women can wear when they’re in risky situations-coming home late from work, first date, etc. If a perp penetrates, sharp microscopic barbs will insert the skin of his you-know-what. Once that happens, the condom has to be surgically removed! The article was saying that rape is a major issue in South Africa and that out of 1,370 men polled in 2005, 20 percent admitted to having raped a woman. As a result, they say the AIDS cases are through the roof and this is a needed measure. OUCH!

A new Grey?

2007-05-17T22:15:00.000-04:00

What the hell just happened on "Grey's Anatomy"? I knew Burke wasn't going to marry Yang. I mean, that was obvious. But you know what? I damn near shed a tear with Christina when she got home and found out that dude had cleaned the place out! Burke is out..Now given Isaiah's behavior that's not a surprise. And his departure is so abrupt.

It also looks like George is leaving too. I didn't know that they had a big exam to pass. If George wasn't so busy getting eloped and committing adultery with his hot best friend, maybe he would have had more time to study. I'm not sure, but I was like, these people have been goofing off all along. Then Callie gets to be chief surgeon? That's a shock. I think Chandra Wilson's character was more qualified. I hope she sticks around. Callie and George need to stick together.

I'm glad that George didn't respond to Izzy. Make her wait until fall. I read somewhere online that T.R. Knight is coming back next season. That would add lot of explosive potential to the show. He'll have Izzy's love, baby-making issues with the wife, AND a new Grey. Speaking of Grey, I think that the drama between McDreamy and Grey is forced for season finale purposes. I'm not even thinking about those two.

Anyway, the biggest brow-raiser for me was the group of new attendees that walked in at the end. They're more diverse than the original group AND there's a chatty girl named..you'll never guess...Lexie Grey! WTF? Some Internet geeks (the kind that jump online during or after the show) say that she's Meredith's half sister. I missed it, but is this the same chick that McDreamy met in the bar? I vaguely remember Meredith having a half sister, but I thought she was younger than that. Internet people say she has more than one half sister, but they don't know about her. Does it bother anyone else that McDreamy's thinking of upgrading to a younger model of Grey? Bothers me.

Does this mean that we have to get used to a whole new cast of people? That is very risky for the show. I can't say I'm not tired of the cast, but I think they're a little annoying at this point. I am a little concerned for Ellen Pompeo, who plays Meredith Gray. Did anyone notice that she walks a little funny? Her shoulders move weird. I think she needs to chill and take some time off to bake and... maybe take a cruise with her fiance. I hear they serve tons of food on cruises, coincidentally.

The Gospel of Clayton 5:15

2007-05-16T16:10:00.000-04:00

So I tuned into my own blog to find a deep debate going on about how women should act when a man tries to holla. This was in the "Learning to ride the bus" post. I didn't get to participate, but I thought to pull this out and make my comment. Below is one of Clay's comments on the subject. He thinks Southern girls are more polite than Northern girls. I have to say that I too have been discussing this since I've moved to D.C. And I have to represent for Southern chicks cause I'm NC born and bred.

I can't go all out and say Northern ladies are rude or mean because I don't deal with them in the same capacity as Clay and his boys. I will say that I've been told by guys that I've dated around these parts (DC) that women here are pretty demanding and rude when it comes to dating or even initial meetings. For example, I've heard that they ask for drinks, which would get you laughed at in the south. Some guys I've met are impressed when I offer to pay (for my part only, mind you) or when I try to save them a dollar or two by avoiding overpriced bullshit on a menu. That's just me putting myself in his shoes. I wouldn't waste my money on a wack date or pay $4 for a side of strawberries on my french toast (true story, I told them to keep those damn strawberries!), so why should he? While I LOVE, I mean absolutely ADORE talking shit, I think northern women are too quick to talk shit to a guy who's simply trying to give you a compliment or dares to try to get your number. Poor schmuck.

I think that the least we can do for poor losers who step to us is show them some respect, up until the point that they disrespect us. I always wish I had shut a dude down earlier or with more authority, but I hate to be that chick who made the mistake of thinking someone was trying to holla when he was only making small talk. So I wait.

Anyway, I think Clay has a valid point and I think women in the South are nicer. Although, it's all about the person doing the talking. In the south, an unmarried, educated brother with a job and no gold teeth isn't standing on every corner or asking you out. In general, I think women in the south are going to appreciate a certain type of man more than women in the north and have lower expectations when it comes to money (unless she's for sale). This could just be a matter of the size of the pond you're swimming in guys. I always joke that I'm suffering through this upsurd cost of living in DC for the love of educated penis. Cause we all know, kind of like Chris Rock says, Good-D doesn't have a job.

Another thing about being polite in the south is that we get cussed out so quickly for not responding correctly--- we quickly learn to just be nice. "You ain't gotta act like that, bitch" rolls off the tongue of ex-suiters within 10 minutes of meeting them. One minute it's love at first sight, the next, you ain't shit.

One more thing about women in the south: Why is it that every other time I say I'm from NC, dudes say "Oh you can cook then!" with wide smiles? It's like you can see biscuits and gravy dancing in their eyes. It's a myth man.. a vicious rumor that they teach southern girls how to cook in school or something. Weird. Anyway, here's the Gospel of Clayton- as Mcvay calls it:

Just take my word for it. Women and how much friendlier they are in the South has been my #2 soapbox topic for the last six months (#1 being cost-of-living/quality-of-life in.. say.. Charlotte as opposed to our nation's capitol and surrounding areas).

It is DEFINITELY a North/South thing. I don't know anything about dude at your job. I do know that while I was in school in the South I pretty much tried my hand at every chick that attracted me, unless I was in a committed relationship at the time and that wasn't very often. Of course, I lost more than I won but I never had the second thought, "What if this chick isn't interested and gives me shit as if she is offended that I stepped to her?" because that shit just didn't happen.

It wasn't until I left that area and moved northward that chicks started acting in the exact manner as was suggested above. I thought it was a "getting older" thing. Like "Damn.. Women get mean as they get older. No wonder damn near every man I meet who has been married for 5+ years tells me not to do it." Then I had the good fortune to take a trip back to Dixie and lo-and-behold.... the females were friendly or at least cordial. If they felt they were out of my league or whatever, they didn't feel the need to act like I insulted their mother and shat on the hood of their cars. It was more of a "thanks but no thanks" which is cool.

I considered that maybe it was just me but I conferred with said crew and they noticed the same thing.

I've been waiting to say this: Goodbye, 'All of Us'

2007-05-16T15:37:00.000-04:00

Finally, at last, the CW has come to their senses and put an end to the incredible wackness that is "All of Us." That's the Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith-produced show that stars LisaRaye and Duane Martin. Now, I imagine that Duane will get more work eventually (not that he needs to act with all his other business ventures), but I'd like to place my bet that LisaRaye is done. I won't bet much because I know she has fans that will pay to see her for some crazy reason. I don't know what they're thinking. The question is, now that she doesn't have the show to use as an excuse, will she move to Turks and Caicos to be with her husband? Now I will bet one year's wages on the career of the little boy who plays Bobby. He'll never over-act again. I see commercials in his immediate future.

So this was a smart move, but I don't know what the CW was thinking when they decided to give "Girlfriends" an 8th season. The execs must have stopped watching, like the rest of us. This show needs to just roll out. Of course, I'm sure the ratings are still decent. I know that I still turn it on if I'm home out of habit.

If they had kept the show about the sisters living in the same building, we'd still have something to look at.. This reminds me of a conversation I had earlier today. I was flipping through Jet Magazine (which I think is still around because people are creatures of habit. Nana's been subscribing since the 70s, so why stop now?). At the end of the magazine they have a section called Television. It lists shows that you can catch black celebs on this week. i.e: Vanessa Williams on "Ugly Betty" Thursday at 8 p.m., Isiah Washington on "Grey's Anatomy"... I was thinking, is this really necessary? Isn't it really played out to list the places you can catch black folks on TV this week? Black people are officially on TV every single day. I was just laughing at how they seem to be trapped in some time capsule where they think this page is needed. They need to use it to showcase an up-and-coming star. Just my two cents.

In closing, I'm wearing a pair of pants today that were too tight weeks ago. This brings me joy. I think it's because I had a turkey sandwich for dinner last night.

learning to ride the bus

2007-05-10T12:04:00.000-04:00

So, I've been learning to ride the bus since I got to DC more than a year ago. It's hard. The schedules are written in special code and the buses aren't on time so it's hard to know which one is which. The hardest part is knowing which side of the street to stand on to catch the "D8" moving in your direction.

I learned another lesson in bus riding over the weekend.
Rule #42: Never hop on a bus that stops in the middle of the street to let you on.

So, I'm waiting on a bus that should be heading to the train stop less than a mile away. I looked it up on the Metro web site, so I know what I'm looking for. Suddenly a bus with the same number comes rolling by on the other side of the street. I start walking in the direction it's heading just in case there's a bus stop I didn't see. So, the bus driver stops and opens his window to ask me if I need to get on, or something. I ask if he's going to the Rhode Island Metro and he says yes. All he has to do is loop around and he's going right that way. He made it sound like he was about to go around the block and head toward the station. What the hell do I know? This is my first time catching this bus.

So I ask him, "Is that a bus stop?" And he's like, just come on. So he opens the door. There are people on the bus already so I cross the street and get on.

Why did the loop include like 4 stops, the last one being about 2 miles from where I was picked up? Then why did he look at me and say, I just have to pull over and sit for 5 minutes to reset the bus and make sure it takes off on time. I'm like great. I look around and NO ONE else is on the bus. Just my dumb ass. Super!

Then the conversation starts. So, where you heading? Why didn't your boyfriend pick you up? What do you do? blah, blah, blah.

I'm giving friendly but short answers. Meanwhile I'm reading the hell out of a bus schedule like I have a pop quiz to pass later. He eventually says, I'm going to leave you alone. Ahh, relief.
Then he says, I'm not trying to kidnap you. If another bus comes around heading to the Metro you can get on it.

Kidnap? Who said kidnap? Why would you kidnap me? That's when I start to look out of the window into the darkness realizing that I'm the only person on a random bus on a quiet side street and completely helpless. The only thing I have going for me is that bus drivers like their jobs. Plus, dude was harmless.. until he used the K-word.

As if all of that wasn't bad enough. He wraps up his five minute wait with a corny statement like, "Well, it was nice talking to you. It feels good just to pretend I could have a woman like you." WHAT? You were pretending? What a fking weirdo! That's when the last 15 minutes a;; came rushing back to me. He picked me up knowing I needed to go the opposite direction and that we'd be on the bus alone. I even remember him waking up one kid to tell him that we were at the end of the line. On top of all that, the Metro I wanted to go to wasn't the next stop. It was seven minutes away. 7+5+5... hmm wonder how many trips I could have made to the metro from my house in that time frame?
I actually wanted to catch a train to the station that this bus was going to next, but he creeped me out to the point that I didn't want to ride with him anymore. So I get to the train station and had to wait 14 chilly minutes above ground for my train. He nearly ruined my lovely evening! Plus, it was weird.
Don't take favors from bus drivers, folks. That's all I'm saying.

Bus stories have been recurring in my life lately. I should play the numbers.

Grey's spin off

2007-05-04T16:16:00.000-04:00

Tell me you saw "Grey's Anatomy" last night! I knew it would be long, but that shit felt like it was on ALL night. Of all the characters they could spin off, I never thought it would be Addison. I thought it would be Izzy, for real. Speaking of Izzy, I hate the "thing" between her and George. It's such a stupid story line. Why would she want George? I wasn't even clear on what Callie saw in George, but I let it slide because, hey, there's someone for everyone.

Back to Addison's show. I think one thing we can all agree on is that there's a sunny side to the spin off.. Taye Diggs is back on TV every week. Am I right? I was pining for that smooth cocoa complexion and those dimples.. [exhale]. He reminds me of a chocolate chip.

So I read someone else's blog about this and I wish I hadn't because now their thoughts are commingled with mine. Anyway, that person pointed out that the cast of the spin off, which takes place at a California hospital, are older but more horny than the "Grey's Anatomy" cast. Now older is easy to do, but hornier? It's true. There were more steamy lip locks last night than a telenovela. I felt damn-near inspired. It made me want to meet a stranger who would offer me his tongue to cheer me up. Oh, if you missed it: Addison wants to have kids now that she's divorced and no longer dating the man she cheated on her husband with. It seems like she's leaving two doctors (McSteamy and McDreamy) in Seattle to get a sperm donor. HA! Anyway, she finds out she can't have kids... something is wrong with her something. Long story short, she's in the stairwell of the hospital crying, like any professional woman would, and a sexy guy who works there stops to flirt with her. She "kirks" out, as the kids say these days, and starts saying how she's dried up. So he says "I'm going to kiss you now. With tongue." And he does, and she quivers, and suddenly she reminds me of the red-head "Band Camp" chick from American Pie. Don't ask me why. So of course she has to ask, "Why'd you do that?" [As if her breakdown wasn't a cry for attention] and he says he wanted to remind her that she's not dried up. "Let me know if you need me to remind you again..." Whatever.

This show could be alright, if you like your TV smutty. Meredith lost another family member last night too, this time it was her step mother. Which reminds me! She got smacked by her dad. She said the stepmom would be fine and only had the hiccups. Guess not. He was pretty pissed about that.

I think I'd have to vote yes for the new show, but it can't come on the same night as Grey's because they're too much alike. They'll surely run out of medical mysteries. If they want to keep all of these new characters, they should merge the hospitals and run the show bi-weekly. There's barely enough room for all of the characters to breath as is. I think George could be transferred to the new hospital if things go well. That'd be nice I think. Although Izzie thinks it'd be "unfair" wah, wah, wah.. it's all about her. I can't wait for Callie to find out Izzie shagged her husband and kisses him on elevators and in little closests. She's going to open a can of plus size whoop ass.

What I missed was the incident that sent Addison to Santa Monica. What'd that mean guy do? Someone tell me. I also wonder if he may be falling for the chick who lost her memory, they sure do talk a lot.

Slap me once shame on you..Slap me twice shame on...me? Wait. Slap me ya ain't gon' slap me again!

2007-05-03T15:58:00.000-04:00

So I'm shuffling through some hip-hop news, cause I get paid to, and I ran into this article about Talib Kweli (new album hits stores June 19 and I think I'm copping it) getting smack by his girlfriend at a party. The couple went to a shindig at Fiddy Cent's crib and they had already been arguing at home. So they start drinking and the shit gets started again, this time she pimp slaps him in front of other people and witnesses say that he started crying. lol.

Now that last part just sounds like some funny shit to add at the end. Like, "Man, I was at 50's house this weekend and Talib Kweli was there arguing with his girlfriend. She smacked the shit out of him."
"Word?! "
"I saw it myself. Then I heard that he was crying in the bathroom a few minutes later."
"Did she use baby powder?"
"You know what? I thought I saw her pull something out of her purse!"

It just doesn't make sense. The article on Allhiphop.com said that Talib owned up to the argument on the air with Miss Jones in New York.

"I was at 50's house and I got into an argument with my girl and it got physical. Wasn't nobody going into a room and crying. I'm a passionate dude and sometimes women get passionate. She got out of pocket and she got checked. It was an ugly situation for both parties and it didn't make either one of us look good. I'm glad its over with."

He also said:

"[Alcohol] had something to do with it," he admitted. I got passion in my life and sometimes, as a result it bubbles over. If you are in a relationship...yeah, she was out of pocket for that."

And will he take her back after she emasculated him in front of colleagues and fans?

"That was something small compared to the relationship," Kweli said. "She wasn't trying to play me. She was upset and something I did so she was being disrespectful, because she was upset about something that had happened before."

Shhhhiiiiitt... I WISH A MUTHAFKA WOULD put his hands on me. It really shouldn't matter that she's a woman. Well, maybe it matters a little. It's not like she hurt him. But how are you gonna disrespect him in front of all those people? And his persona keeps them living the high life. What if fans say, "I'm not buying that album because he's a battered boyfriend," which is really wack. Then he'll be riding the D train out of neccessity, not just to keep it real.

You can't let things go that far, really their main problem is that they fight like that at home. Clearly they have a physical relationship and now it's spilling into the public. "Passionate.." That's one word for it.

Hollywood style

2007-05-02T14:09:00.000-04:00

I saw this picture online of Kim Kardashian and the first thought I had was: "Look how people dress in L.A. " She looks like she's out shopping... in a silver stripper outfit. It's as if she's late for a Pussycat Dolls audition. I have an associate who lives in L.A. and wears next to nothing also. Now usually, I could care less about what my friends wear. But this chick actually made ME uncomfortable. She'd wear a bikini top under a see-through shirt, micro shorts with high heels or my favorite: a white wife beeter with no bra that's been cut in half to expose her stomach (not the mid-drift). Stomach and nipples in broad daylight? Come on people, you've got to draw the line somewhere. NO she's not a stripper or a call girl. It's pretty hard to make me aware of the fact that I'm from a small city in North Carolina.. but these outfits did it. I get that you love attention, but where's your modesty? Do you think Kim dressed like this before she became a mulitmillion dollar porno star?

Akon's dry hump

2007-04-27T11:56:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately the best I can do is provide this link to the video of Akon and the 14-year-old girl, acting and dressing like a grown-ass woman, in Trinidad.

You've probably seen it by now. The question is.. is this a criminal act? Let's overlook the fact that she's 14. I'm not sure it's fair to play the minor card since she admits that she lied to be where she was and was presenting herself like an adult with her actions and clothing. NOW, let me be clear: Had she been raped or really assualted, I wouldn't think her age or clothing mattered at all. Akon would be a criminal in my book.

But in this video, his only crime is being a pretty shitty dancer. (He's probably bad in bed as well.) I think what happened is more annoying than anything. Most women wouldn't enjoy being thrown around on stage like that and humped all over the dirty floor. He's wrong but not a criminal in my opinion. The only reason why this is becoming a major issue seems to be because the girl is underage and because her father's a minister. But let's remember that she was chosen to be in a dance contest and won. If you know hip-hop and have ever seen these impromptu dance contests, you know that women ALWAYS go overboard to prove they can "dance." I've seen titties pulled out and all types of crazy antics take place in order to win. This young lady says that she was told she'd win a trip to Africa with Akon, but when she won he told her that he was Africa. Ooops!

People on the island (which proudly hosts a wild Carnival every year) seem to think it's immoral to dance like this onstage. Sure it is.. but doesn't it take two? Don't many, many people dance dirty across the world? But hey, what do I know?

Bootleg Bidness Trip

2007-04-26T11:04:00.000-04:00

Man, I hate to talk about my employer, because I love it so much. It keeps a roof over my head and food on the table and there's still money left over to waste at bars, clubs and retail stores. Sometimes there are perks like free CDs and concerts. So I overlook little things that really, if I paid more attention, would make me want to burn something down. Not the office building, because we're just one of many suites and I'm not into arsen. Not at all.

Anyways, this week I had a business trip to New York. You've probably heard of the town, it's not that far really. In The Day After Tomorrow Dennis Quaid started driving from D.C. then walked to New York in the worst snow storm ever. Since it's not far, it's not too expensive to reach. They're are several modes of transportation available for less than $200/person round trip. There's the plane, which isn't so flexible, the train, which is SUPER flexible and driving, which is by far the best bet for a small group of people. My employer chose a mode of transportation I hadn't even considered.
The bus. At least it was a Greyhound and not a Chinatown option. (Which I overheard someone lamenting over. "I wish you guys could have caught Vamoose." ) SIGH

I've taken the bus before, can't say I haven't. But I also remember the shame I felt the last time I rolled up in Chinatown with bags strapped to me wearing a grimy bus-riding outfit on a Friday night. I saw a former classmate and was glad that he didn't see me.

Anyway, I'll spare some of my other thoughts about the bus business trip beacuse I am at work. Well, one more thing. Before leaving I was asked to bring my own bed linens and towels because we were staying at a place that may not have enough. I was like, "Wow, this is bootleg. I miss my small company with the pshyco bosses and the big budget." I didn't bring sheets and luckily I didn't need them. The linens were in tack.

I'm just wondering if I've ever had a lower-income business trip before. I've had to share space with some unbearable people, but usually really nice spaces. Here's the thing about business trips. If I have to travel for business, whether it's a professional conference that I just choose to go to or an assignment for a freelance assignment, I pick the best mode of transportation that I can find. Why? It's a tax write off- a legitimate business expense. I mean, some companies have meetings in Bora Bora for this reason alone! Maybe I don't know much about corporate taxes, but I know that I wouldn't take a cheap-ass bus, which is basically a rolling port-a-potty, on my business travel. In the end, the only winner is the bus operator. OK.. I'm done for now.

Straight to DVD

2007-04-18T15:13:00.000-04:00

Now, I've noticed that technology has improved. It's a beautiful thing. We can burn our own DVDs and buy bootleg movies months before the real thing hits theaters. Awesome. But has anyone noticed how fast movies are leaving the theater and going to DVD? In a minute it'll be like Cherry Blossom viewing season: Opening week, second week, last week.

As I started seeing commercials for Oscar nominated films hitting DVD, like Last King of Scotland and The Pursuit of Happyness, I had been thinking, "damn, that was fast!" But just this week I saw that Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls will be on DVD in July. It definitely opened on Feb. 14 because I went to see it. That's a five month turn around. There used to be a time when we had to wait a year to catch shit on VHS. And that's why I rushed to see it in the theater. Who wants to wait a year to see something really good? Now it seems that they're racing against Pay Per View and bootleggers to get the movies into stores as fast as possible.

I don't care all too much, but I'm just saying. It's funny how things have changed.

Praying for V-Tech

2007-04-17T07:50:00.000-04:00

Yes, MBT has a heart. Today it goes out to the students, faculty, alumni and friends of V Tech. I am floored by what happened there yesterday. I'm trying not to pull a Rosie O'Donnell and fall into depression (like she says she did after 9-11) and start dissing people for no reason.

I believe that every man has his day. I fly the friendly skies fearlessly and walk through D.C. at night thinking, "If it's my day, I'm going down no matter where I am." My attitude is that you can be laying in bed wearing your pajamas at 10 p.m. and just die--if it's your day. But every now and then a massacre like this happens and turns my whole theory upside down. There's NO WAY 32 people on the same college campus had there day on the same day, is there? It was the same thing with 9-11. When there are survivors, what do we say? "It wasn't his day." Part of me says, I should amend my theory adding that there will be days when several people who are destined to die that day randomly come together. But that shit doesn't make sense.

I'm trying not to sit around and watch round-the-clock news about this massacre, so I don't have ALL of the details. But I have enough. I don't want to be sad.

Now, I understand that a lot of people are angry about the slow response of the campus officials. I wonder if they thought the first shooting was an isolated incident and they didn't want to alarm everyone. They're sending out emails, which move fast unless you send them to 20,000 people at the same time. I'm sure IT has this under control. They say that it's hard to lock this campus down and I'm sure it's even harder when you don't know who the shooter is.

I kinda of wondered how this will effect the incoming freshman class for this school. I don't think my parents would send me to V Tech even it's my top choice. I also wonder how many students will want to transfer out. But really none of that matters. Not right now.

I just think it's really sad that so many talented people lost their lives. One of my favorite MBT readers attends V Tech and we can't wait to hear from him.

Ray J's sex tape..

2007-04-12T13:34:00.000-04:00

So, has anyone seen this sex tape with Brandy's no-so-little brother? I saw quite a bit and it brought me joy. Unlike, non-celebrity porn because I don't watch that stuff. Why? Because it's looked down upon in our society. I mean, I can declare openly that I've seen "R. Kelly's" sex tape with the underage girl, but I'd be viewed differently if I talked about a DVD called Naughty Brazilian School Yard Adventures. Why is that?

Anyway, back to Ray J. He's a talented young man and I hope people will take him more seriously now. I just wanted to share that. A man with his cunnilingus skills deserves praise not redicule. Here's a kid making lemonade out of life's lemons, like having a sister whose career eclipses anything you'll ever do in life. I don't think there's any real question about who released this tape so that it could be sold. I wonder if Ray J and Whitney will make a sex tape... damn, as soon as I typed that my stomach started to turn. Excuse me.

Oh Imus....

2007-04-09T16:24:00.000-04:00

Don Imus has disturbed the sleeping giant. I was trying to get some of my shit together and here this dude goes calling women from the Rutgers University basketball team "nappy headed hos..." Why Imus, why?

Someone who hates to be nappy so much that he's been perming his do since the days of the conk stepped up to confront Imus today. That's right, the spectacular, silky smooth, rythmically advanced Rev. Al Sharpton. You KNOW those are fighting words. Al told Imus that this debate isn't over had good he is, it's about the fact that what he said was racist. Imus said that he's humiliated by this event.. but that's not gonna be enough. Some people like Jesse Jackson and a 50 other people with flexible work schedules marched outside of NBC's Chicago offices today asking for Imus to be removed.

Imus tried to put his remarks in context on MSNBC today too. He says that he makes fun of everyone on his program, and sometimes people make fun of him. But he admits that these ladies didn't deserve to be picked on, and that they didn't know whether he was trying to be funny or not.

"Our agenda is to be funny and sometimes we go too far. And this time we went way too far," Imus told Sharpton today."

Hmm, Here's my thing. Imus can go for all I care. There are plenty of talented disc jockeys who can be funny and edgy without being degrading or racist. So, I don't think the air waves will miss him too much. But that being said, I didn't know he even existed before last week and I've never heard his show. That's probably why I feel like this. But watching his video I think that he's pretty sincere. He even asked for a chance to apologize to the players and their families in person. Imus does know black people and terminally ill black kids come to his ranch in New Mexico and he and his wife go to their funerals when they pass away. I'm not trying to make light of this because it's sad that kids die. But Imus said all that to make put himself into context. He wants people to know more about him than his comments.

I haven't REALLY checked out these Rutgers chicks, so their heads very well may be nappy. But as a sister who has shunned relaxers for the past seven years, I have to just go on the record and say that "nappy" is a term that hasn't fully been embraced yet. I prefer, kinky, curly or coily, which is most accurate. But seriously, the real problem with what he said is the "hos" part, not the nappy part. I know that he wasn't only speaking about the black players when he said that, but you can't just call women hos for the fun of it. But, at the end of the day I know Don was trying to be funny. In conclusion, if I caused that much trouble for my employer there'd be no question about whether or not I should apply for unemployment.

This whole situation reminds me of a white young lady that I met recently. She's a roommate of a friend of mine and she seems to have been given a pass to use the N word by one of her black friends. I don't know this black friend, but I do know that those passes don't translate beyond the circle of friends who give it to you. She thinks that she can use the N word in the presence of all black people and recently learned that she can't. Should she be ousted from her home? NO! I didn't march in her front yard just because she said something crazy and racist sounding. So, I wish Imus the best of luck and I agree that good people say stupid shit all the time. I think he can learn from this lesson and move on. Much like my friend's roommate.

photo by AP

They were going to smoke eventually

2007-03-07T12:38:00.000-05:00

Let's assume for the sake of this discussion that weed is OK. It's illegal, yes, but if an adult has a valid reason and chooses to smoke, let's just say that's fine. The question now, is when should those adults start smoking weed. Some may say that they should at least be 16-18 years old.

Anyway, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that age 2 -5 is way to young. In my real opinion anyone under 15 is too young to make a wise decision about drugs and no one should offer it to them. These guys in Fort Worth, Texas who gave a 2- and 4-year-old boy a blunt to smoke are WAY out of line. Then this uncle is going to do an interview from jail (a clear sign that he's using a court-appointed attorney) and do an interview saying that these boys were going to start smoking eventually anyway. Word? The police say that the 5 year old is basically a smoker who holds the blunt on his own and puffs correctly. But does he pass? Just kidding. This is serious folks. For anyone who doesn't know, because Donnie Simpson struggled with this on the radio, a blunt is a cigar. Used in this context, the tobacco has been removed from the cigar and the paper has been filled with marijuana.

But wait, please watch the video because he also tries to use the "because I was high" excuse. Like, I was high and it just happened. And he said that it's not like he was the first one to ever say "here, smoke this blunt." So, it sounds like he's trying to say that he didn't really introduce the babies to weed.

CNN is eating these slow folks up. They also had a video of the mother of the two boys. She was sleeping when this happened. She looks like she's about 14, but maybe she's 16. There's almost NO WAY she's 18, based on her appearance. She wasn't really upset. She wants her brother back home and her kids. She thinks that probation is a fitting sentence. So that he can come back to the crib and smoke in front of her kids again, I guess. Oh, and so that he can break into people's houses. The mother and her brother live with their great grandparents. And the great grandparents look younger than my parents, and I'm way older than these kids. It's a sad, sad day.

Enough already...

2007-03-07T11:07:00.000-05:00

Jennifer Hudson. I'm happy for her. She's very talented and Simon from "American Idol" didn't notice. So, is this proof that "American Idol" sometimes kicks off people who actually have talent and the ability to succeed? Yes. Did we need this type of proof? No. Can we just move on now? Obviously not. I'm still discussing it.

I've been thinking about the hideous dress that Jennifer was tricked into wearing at the Oscars. Not only was she forced to wear it, they showed a video of her going to fittings and choosing it. They made it look like she'd been styled by the brightest fashionista in the world and that she was the luckiest girl at the Oscars. Actually, Jennifer was victimized. We all saw how horrible she looked. I was embarrassed and kept yelling at the TV, "take the damn jacket off!" I was so sad to see her looking like an extra from a Star Trek episode on the biggest night of her life. The worst thing about that outfit was its timing. EVERYONE was wearing their best. It'd be different if she'd wore that mess to an after party.

Anyway, I think that this is a conspiracy. I'm not big on conspiracy theories, because they're all bullshit for the most part, but this is real. Clearly the high-end fashion world used this chance to kick a big woman down in front of the world. That outfit, which looked like shit to everyone, said, "Hey, this is the best we can do for a big chick. We gave her our best fabrics and look what happened. Couture is clearly for abnormally thin women." Oscar de la Renta should even be a little disappointed with this. Did that dress have pockets?! It sure looks like she had her hand in her pockets. What dress has pockets?! Sorry, the proof to this conspiracy is the fact that Jennifer didn't want to wear the dress. That's why another stylist had Cavalli dress made for her to wear instead but this fancy pants Vogue editor insisted she wear his brown moo moo gown with pockets. Why? Because he'd already promised the fashion world that he'd set this up. Remember that meeting that Mugatu had in that movie Zoolander? It was just like that. The same people who set up Zoolander set up Jennifer Hudson. Clearly.

I don't watch TV

2007-02-15T17:02:00.000-05:00

Got an email today. It was one of those party email blasts, but the host gives blog like intros to the party invite. It's cool. I don't mind it. Today he said something that made me stop.. "I don't watch TV." He confessed that he hadn't watched in a year and suddenly some show has him eyeing the boob tube. (Where'd that name come from anyway?)

I've heard many of intellectuals proudly declare that they don't watch TV. (This isn't to say that this dude is an intellectual. In fact, I have nothing else to say about him- he just made me think of this...) Some parents only allow kids to watch a few hours a day and whatnot. This is fine, do what you please. But why do some people wear it like a badge of honor? I like TV, I wish I could watch more of it. Some nights I forget to turn it on for hours, so I know I'm not addicted. It just irks me that some people think not watching TV is morally right or something.

I feel the same way about the "I don't listen to radio crowd." Listen, I know corporate radio sucks ass.. but you have to keep up with pop culture or you'll become a dinosaur. You'll be behind times on lingo and the latest current events. I mean you wouldn't even know to throw D's on your bitch. Or to make it rain on them ho's. You may even think you're irreplaceable!

Here's some things I've learned by watching TV recently. Well, and following up sound bites with Internet research. I was taught a long time ago that if you want the full story, you should read about three articles that cover it from different angles. You'd be surprised what facts are overlooked by media outlets. Anyways...

Pop Culture Pop Quiz:
1. Anna Nicole's baby was on a diet because she's supposed to be:
a. skinny b: sexy c: healthy

2. Tim Hardaway recently apologized for making comments that were:
a. racist b. homophobic c. sexist

3. Bush is SURE about his security info this time. Iran is providing Iraqi militants with:
a. IED's b. EFP's c. road side bombs

(Either way that would make Iran a supporter of Evil Do'ers. Who didn't see this coming?!)

I got stuff to do folks, our I'd continue...
Answers are in comment section.

White Rappers

2007-02-14T23:51:00.000-05:00

So my friend RSH has been watching more VH1 than I can stomach. She's had this to say about the White Rapper Show, which I've seen been honestly can't stay tuned to once a commercial comes on.

On the "White Rapper Show", a stylist came in to show the kids how to be "gully thugs". He has styled Busta and Missy, so I guess we're supposed to think he's legit. He said that hip hop style came from people being locked up and not being given shoe laces or belts. Then he said that they took that and made it into a postive.

I'm so sick of people saying that people made something positive!

Seriously who sat and thought, I'm going to start dressing like my locked up homies so that I can honor them? Or did they think, I'll have my pants droop off my ass so that when my homie gets out he feels like he never left?

Funniest part was that one dude pointed out that before the makeover he had on shorts that almost came to his ankles (like jean man capris) with a black t-shirt. After the makeover, he had on shorts that almost came to his ankles with a black t-shirt. Oh...they added a white bandana.

These cats are getting punked. What do they really think winning is on this show?

Dear Tomorrow, please hurry!

2007-02-14T15:19:00.000-05:00

So, last year I was all like, "Hooray for Valentine's Day!" This year I'm all like, "Whoop-di-fuckin'-do, it's Valentine's Day." I'm finally walking in the shoes of the V-day sour pusses, and just as I had guessed, it's a result of not having a valentine's day date. Technically, I do have a Valentine, but no plans for tonight... so why am I complaining? Well, that's what I do.

OK, here's why we should fast forward to tomorrow: A. Chocolate will be on sale.
B. I can go back to really enjoying the single life.

This day has a way of alienating people who are normally very happy and satisfied with being alone. I look at the holiday, still my favorite, a little differently now. I used to think it could do no wrong, but now I see. It can be a little...mmm, taunting.

A hell of a week

2007-02-09T14:20:00.000-05:00

Look, I rarely care to talk about myself, but I need to share. Are you listening? What I just say?

Okay, so my week basically started on Friday of last week when I went on a business trip and had the pleasure of sharing a hotel room with my boss. Meaning, you wake up to questions about work. While I've shared rooms with bosses in the past, never have I slept in the double bed on the other side of the lamp. This was new. I took well to the challenge and didn't even realize that it may have taken its toll on me until I returned home on Sunday night. I fall asleep easily enough only to be forced out of my sleep around 6 a.m. by a stress nightmare. Interviews need to be scheduled, flights should be booked, I have another article to turn in.. It was like my deadlines where chasing me in my sleep. What the hell?

So, I go to work on Monday and proceed to bust ass.. only to get a call around 5 p.m. from a neighbor who tells me our apartment building has been broken into. While I'm at my desk slaving away (OK my job doesn't really qualify as slaving), some loser who probably has never paid taxes in his life has broken into my sacred hideaway. I drive frantically home, well, as frantic as it gets in D.C. rush hour traffic. This means I did like 45 MPH all the way home. lol. I get there and the cops are all over the building. They've already went through my things, but I'm free to tell them what's missing. All of my CDs, DVDs, DVD players, jewelry, digital camera.. they're all there folks. What's missing? My laptop. My precious titanium apple powerbook G4.

I dropped to my knees yelling, WHHHHHYYYYYY!!!!!!!! Just kidding, I wanted to though. I just told the cops they stole my laptop. But then there's the embarrasing side of being burgled. The robber went into my boom-boom room and lifted the mattress.. then he went through my underwear drawer throwing my unmentionables on the floor. Including the ones you really don't wear, ladies, but we hold on to them anyway. Why? I don't know. I mean, the elastic is worn, they're just not sexy anymore and you wouldn't want to be caught dead in them for damn sure. Yet, there they are in your drawer and now all over the floor for the world to see. Why? Well, I've decided that all of those undies will be trashed. If that sad day comes where I'm completely out of undies I'll just have to go buy more. The shame of having them laid out in front of strangers and then photographed for evidence files, isn't worth the secruity of having them to fall back on.

Wait, where was I? So I'm all embarrased that the cops are looking at my panties, the house is mess and I'm hoping that they think the criminals pulled my bed sheets back and left them all crumpled. That they think that the criminals left that bottle of Patron on the coffee table. The criminals forgot to vacuum, wash dishes, put away the coffee bean grinder after they used it and left reciepts lying all over the floor. Those beasts!

So, the doors to our apartments were destroyed, cops think they used a crowbar. I had to sleep at a friends house that night. But things are getting back to normal. I'll probably replace my laptop tomorrow. Yes, I have renter's insurance, so I may get some change from them.
Thanks for listening, I feel better.

Did you know Obama was Black?

2007-02-01T13:48:00.000-05:00

So a friend told me over dinner this week that the talking heads were saying Barack Obama's appeal in the African American community isn't strong because his blackness is questionable. I was like, girl, that's just crazy. Everyone who cares knows he's a black guy. If you know enough black folks, you know we come in like every single shade and that even having one black parent is enough for us.

Then this morning I'm watching my favorite morning program "Good Morning America." I know that some people prefer the younger, hipper NBC morning show, but I just feel off-centered when I watch them. I feel like I may forget to make the coffee or feed the cat if I don't have my familiar friends there. But that has nothing to do with this. This morning they had George Stephanopoulos on, another reason why I like ABC news, and he was covering the comments by Senator and President hopeful Joe Biden. You've probably heard that he said:

You got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.

So, George makes some great points like "articulate and bright" are seen as backhanded compliments to black Americans and that Biden's implied that every other black presidential candidate wasn't clean, articulate or bright. Surely he didn't mean that. Poor baby. Barack's camp put out this written response today:

"I didn't take Senator Biden's comments personally, but obviously they were historically inaccurate. African-American presidential candidates like Jesse Jackson, Shirley Chisholm, Carol Moseley Braun and Al Sharpton gave a voice to many important issues through their campaigns, and no one would call them inarticulate."

So George sums up his "articulate" report, by saying, "This may actually work in Barack's favor because many black voters don't know he's black." (Well, I shouldn't quote George because I wasn't taking notes, but that's basically what he said.) I paused from my lotioning process (Who do I have to sleep with to get some quality lotion in the winter? Jeeze!) to make sure I heard what George was saying. But then I shook it off like, how silly. Until, another homey hit me up on myspace, like, did you hear what I heard??

At last, it seems to be the case that for some strange reason the media thinks that black folks can't identify their own. lol. In the U.S. where race is, sadly, of the utmost importance, they seem to think that this dude isn't black enough for us to recognize. Could it be that he's so "articulate" that he's damn near camoflaged? It's sure as hell not his skin tone, I know TONS of black people lighter than that. It couldn't be his black wife, or their picture on the cover of Ebony magazine. A white mother? Most people could care less if one of your parents aren't black. Man, the only assholes who don't know Obama is black probably don't know who the hell he is.

Unless, the real discussion here is that African Americans don't know that he's African American. Maybe that's a concern for some. That's the only thing I can think of that makes sense. But I was just joking around a few weeks ago when I was saying that he's not gonna be black enough or American enough for the presidency. Damn, that's crazy. He can't get a break.

Here's another slip of the lip by Biden.

Homophobic counseling -since when?

2007-01-24T16:38:00.000-05:00

Listen, something about the hoopla surrounding Isaiah Washington has me deeply bothered. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't we all in agreement that while it may be OK to be gay and you have the right to love who you want, it's still not exactly cool? Why should he go to counseling for saying "faggot"? Isn't the agreement that you can come out of the closet but sometimes people may call you names, much like other groups that face discrimination daily? You mean to tell me their isn't a spick or nigger out there who could sign up a few coworkers for counseling? How about bitches? I've been called that by a coworker and I remember the day a coworker of mine was called a nigger-bitch by her supervisor.. he didn't go to counseling. What ever happened to the adage "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." (I'm sure someone will correct that for me in the comment section.)

I mean, if I'm way off here.. then maybe I should seek counseling. Why the hell should this guy go to counseling because he uses homophobic language? I mean, is he beating gay people up on the weekends or what? Is there an alcoholic beverage that he drinks like haterade that makes him all like "I hate gays.." -that's it! He's drunk from sipping on gayhaterade. Counseling is expensive. He MUST have some other problem he's coping with, because this is just crazy. What are they going to sort out in these counseling sessions anyway.. why he shouldn't care who his coworkers sleep with? I mean at the end of the day, the only difference between him and many other heteros is that he says homophobic stuff to his gay coworker's face. We're all smarter than that. Plus, honestly, I have no desire to call anyone out of their name. Well, I surely have the desire at times, but never have. Well, not to their face anyway.

I'm just feeling like gay people are being protected from hurt and harm above any other group in the nation. If someone calls you a name, they should be reprimanded and maybe even fired if it's that severe. I know that T.R. Knight isn't pushing Isaiah into rehab, but who is? Is this the producers trying to give him a chance? I wonder if they'll try to convert him into the gay lifestyle while he's there?

Isaiah's Homophobic Rehab Schedule

8-9 a.m. breakfast in group setting with gay men.
9-10 a.m. Breakout sessions
- Intro to drag
- History of homosexuality and religion
- Gay vs. Black American Civil Rights Movement
11- 12:30 p.m. Watch gay porn
12:30- 1 p.m. break/private time
1 p.m. - 3 p.m. Group session, discuss any homophobic thoughts you had today and how gay porn made you feel.
3:30 -6 p.m. Shopping
6:30 -8 p.m. Dinner and chores: Refill penis-shaped salt and pepper shakers
8-9 p.m. TV time ("Will & Grace" reruns,"Queer As Folk," "Oz" "Six Feet Under" "Project Runway" "America's Next Top Model")
9:30 - 11 p.m. Late night group session
Midnight movie: Brokeback Mountain

Mos Def's worst CD

2007-01-17T16:20:00.000-05:00

He named it True Magic, which seems to be quite fitting. Mos's last album magically appeared in stores with zero promotion and not even a beat on the radio, then it will magically disappear from shelves as Geffen Records just recalled it.

I've heard of a bad idea, a poor drop date but never an album so bad that they take it back! You recall products that explode or maim people. I mean, many great albums burn slow and then get a re-release with remixes or one special track when it picks up popularity in a year or so. Not True Magic! I'm actually listening to it right now..I don't know what I think yet. Nothing's been great, but that's how his last joint The New Danger hit me too. Billboard, New York Times (like they know shit) and others gave this album a bad review, saying it was rushed and unfinshed. I'll be the judge of that.

The first thing I notice is that he's actually rapping. I think that's a step in the right direction for Mos. He still sounds sexy! But like The New Danger, this would have to grow on you.

Anyone else got a copy?

RIAA hating on Mixtapes

2007-01-17T13:06:00.000-05:00

So the RIAA sent popo into the Aphilliates offices in Atlanta yesterday and arrested DJ Drama (Atlantic Records/Grand Hustle) and DJ Don Cannon for "racketeering." I read the whole article on Allhiphop.com before I even realized what they were arrested for. I'm like, what'd they do?? They were selling mixtapes and the RIAA (the private org that represents music labels) isn't getting any dough from their sales. I don't shop for mixtapes in real stores, but I hear that DJ Drama's tapes are sold at FYE and whatnot. That's a good look for folks in areas where people don't pop open their trunks and sell bootlegs.. Not that mixtapes qualify as bootlegs.

That's the big question. They've confiscated all of their CDs, computers, equiptment for making CDs and bank statements like they're real criminals. But some mixtapes have original beats and lyrics.. even if the music is "leaked" we all know that the artist and labels are creating the leaks. RIAA has to know how this works, but they don't care. It's not like they're trying to hurt the industry or the artists.. in hip-hop, people are honored to be included in hot mixtapes. They need to be involved.
In fact, you can probably buy a bootleg of Aphilliates' mixtapes in the streets.

Does this mean that mixtape DJs are going to have to get clearence for every beat they use from now on? I mean, maybe they should be doing that already, but it may slow things down tremendously. I think this just means that hip-hop's mixtape market has to go back underground. When you pop up on the shelves of music stores, that's when it becomes a problem.

There's also a question about whether or not the music on the mixtapes keeps people from buying albums.. I'd say yes. I just bought a CD from iTunes today, because I don't know where to find a bootleg and my CD burner at the crib isn't working, and it's $16 in the real store.. So I saved $6. Not that I have to explain myself to you.. but anyway. I was kinda pissed that I didn't think to not buy the songs I already have on mixed CDs. Sometimes you want the full track with all of the lyrics, but other times it's like: I don't give a shit who I paid, I paid for that song already. That's for people who actually buy bootlegs or mixtapes from street vendors and Web sites. The rest of you losers are just refusing to help the economy at all. Now that's really being a bootlegger, which isn't right.

I think these two DJs will be OK. They will probably loose lots of cash, but all they have to do is prove that they have agreements with the aritsts, I hope. If they have to go back and pay publishing to all of the original creators of the music used on every mixtape.. it's a wrap. They're done. That's IF they haven't already covered their asses by having written agreements on file. But DJ Drama still has an "official" mixtape coming out on Atlantic Records/Grand Hustle this year.

Here comes Obama...

2007-01-16T12:37:00.000-05:00

So, they say that Barack Obama has filed the necessary paperwork to start raising money for a presidential campaign in 08.. Hooray! Not because I think he'll win, just because it's exciting to have such a strong, sexy, sophisticated and exciting competitor in the game. It's like Michael Jordan's last comeback attempt with the Wizards.. They didn't win shit, but it was still fun to watch. That's not one of my best analogies..

Anyway, besides being a biracial Black man, born to an immigrant father (from Kenya, no less!) and only 45 years old.. I've been wondering about some of the dumb reasons the fickle American voters will come up with to explain why they don't feel comfortable putting thier country in the hot hands, of this handsome senator.

4. Many Americans view his home state of Hawaii as an un-American exotic destination. This can't help.
3. He's always opposed the war, but when American's get in the voting booth they're all like, "who's the biggest warmonger on the ballet? hmmm..."
2. His foxyness and charisma may remind people of Bill Clinton, you see where that charm got him.
1. His name sounds a lot like Osama.. as in Bin Laden.

That said, I won't be missing the primary voting date on this race!

More troops, please

2007-01-11T07:17:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling hopeful about 2007, or at least I was until I watched my favorite president address the nation last night. Then I was really happy about the fact that winter feels like spring, until this Arctic blast came through yesterday. Although, we're back to average temps, I feel cheated.

Anyway, 21,000 troops are being sent over to Iraq to police neighborhoods, right? The promise is that more soldiers will die because we have more in harms way. But eventually, we'll either win or leave Iraq, because our support for their functioning democracy has an expiration date (Yeah, right). They may loose the support of the "American people" but I don't think he meant, they'll loose the troops that we have on the ground.

The main thing I wanted to hear last night that Bush didn't mention is whether or not the new troops are being trained for the type of war they're going into. Everyone is saying that they're not trained for situations like Baghdad, and I remember a story where one contractor was ambushed while being escorted by a military tank. He said that they killed his driver and his car came to a stop. He begged for help, but instead of turning around to help him, the troops drove their tank to safety. These troops are scared. Not all of them, but many aren't trying to be a roadside statistic and I can't blame them. There's more going on than the clear mission of searching for Saddam or suspected insurgents. I just don't know that increasing numbers will help in areas that the U.S. citizens like me really care about. I just want troops to leave Iraq, alive with all of their body parts, as soon as possible. Aside from the Bush administration, does anyone really care if Iraq's democracy works? Do you really fear that the lives of your children and grandchildren will be filled with terror if we don't "win" in Iraq? I mean, can't terrorists just train in another country?

This kinda reminds me of a supervisor who can't delegate responsibility so he stays at work day and night trying to do it all himself. Only in this case, "himself" means American troops. If there was something really popping in Iraq we could call on other countries to send more troops.

Rosie causes more trouble at 'The View'

2006-12-21T11:42:00.000-05:00

So, I had yesterday off of work to relax. I watched President Bush's press conference with one eye open and I watched 'The View.' Yesterday Donald Trump promised to sue Rosie O'Donnell for the comments she made about him on air. I was watching and couldn't figure out who she was speaking of. She compared him to a snake-oil salesman that was on an episode of "Little House on the Prairie." It was weird, but she was upset over his decision to let a Miss USA winner keep her crown even though she'd been discovered drinking underage. She dissed the Miss USA pagent and called it a modeling competion. Then said, "They have one question in Miss USA, yeah and they're like ‘I'd like to cure cancer and end world hunger – and then I'd like to go to Studio 54 and do some crack." Wow, Rosie. Crack is wack.. and cheap. It's the ultimate insult. Only really stupid people do crack. She must have something against.. pagents. Or is there more to it?

Donald pointed out that Rosie may just be feeling unpretty. "Well, look, Rosie's a very unattractive woman. I'm saying something. I'm not a politician, so I'm not running for office, so I can say it. I mean, Rosie is a very unattractive woman, but, as unattractive as she is on the outside, she's even worse on the inside," Trump said. He also predicted that The View's ratings will start to slip soon because people hate watching Rosie. He also said that she's lucky to have a girlfriend [actually they're "married"] and better hold on to her because she probably won't find another.

I have to admit, man.. when I was in college, I planned my class schedule with an hour-long hole in it so that I could watch "The View" every day. I mean, even if I had to watch on a public TV on campus, I'd still make sure that I found one. This was when they had Meredith Viera, Joy Behar, Lisa Ling, (fat) Star Jones and Barbara. What a good show, it was smart and sassy. All types of shit has gone on since. I can't point to one person, but I can say that Rosie is not fun to watch. I was thinking yesterday, "Wasn't she a comedian or something once?" I mean, Rosie used to be funny and nice. They used to cal her the "Queen of Nice." But, out-of-the-closet Rosie is mean and serious. She has an opinion on EVERYTHING and rarely has anything nice to say. She's also pulling celebs out of the closet, even people who I don't think are gay. Like, Oprah and Gail. Gross. Would Rosie lick her best friend? Even is Oprah was gay, would it be with Gail? Seriously. Then there was Clay Aiken, who keeps trying to say he's not gay. Then her gay ass tries to call Kelly Ripa homophobic for not wanting his hands on her mouth.

I think the View is going under anyway, so they should just keep Rosie and then get off the air. Last week, Rosie even offended Barbara Walters to her face! She accused her of not being normal or down-to-earth and said that the first really ritzy apartment she ever went to was Barbara's. Man, if looks could kill, Barbara's glare from across the table would have knocked Rosie out of that seat. She looked quite hot. And that just can't be true. Rosie's been around for a long time, she was even peeps with Madonna. So, get off of that "I'm real" because I go to barbecues and eat hotdogs isht. That's just stupid.

Crusty goes to a wedding

2006-12-18T16:03:00.000-05:00

I often mention that I don't go to many weddings, OK, I've only really been to one as a guest. This past weekend one of my first cousins got married and I was a bridesmaid. I wore a dress that I can wear again and posed for tons of pictures. It was really fun and the wedding was beautiful. (I was hoping it wouldn't be one of those crazy weddings that people circulate in emails like the one the picture above comes from.) I'd say the best part was that I got to eat first.. the weird part is that the photographers took pictures and videos of the wedding party eating. It was a Jamaican wedding so the food was great and the music was good.

Did I trip during the ceremony? Yes, yes I did. But I recovered quickly and there was a slash in the white carpet so it wasn't me being clumsy.

The cool thing about weddings is that they make you think of the wedding you may want one day. There were a lot of comments from people about how they'd do this better or avoid that. One thing I learned is that everyone who thinks they're significant in your life better get a role that reflects their significance. Even if you have to create a role, like "Aunt Edna, would you do us the honor of pouring the champagne for the bride and groom?" Then add her to the program just to make it official "Bride and Groom's Flute filler......... Aunt Edna."

The bride and groom couldn't please everyone and the crazy part is that people had the audacity to be upset when the event had nothing to do with them. There were a few grumpy folks who felt they should have been asked to do this or sit there... puh-lease! Then, there was this speech by the mother of the bride -my cousin was the groom- and it was really weird. It sounded like she wasn't happy about them getting together. She told this story of how they were childhood playmates and she didn't find out that they were dating until they were like 30. While she was describing how he'd always show up for any little event, someone in the audience yelled out "You still didn't know?" And she insisted she didn't, although everyone else did. So she issued this warning to parents to watch who their kids play with... I've debated the appropriateness of her speech with family members. It gave a lot of history that may not be available at most weddings. But it came off like she was disappointed. She even mentioned that the groom had a reputation as a bad boy. Geesh, cut the dude some slack on his wedding day! (She didn't mention the bride's rep.) In fact, the speech came off like homegirl could have done better, which I doubt is true because the couple is very much in love despite what their families think.

Unfortunately, I've learned that I probably can't invite my family to my wedding (far, far from now). We were missing key members that would definitely be at my wedding and I couldn't imagine the drama that would have occurred if more people from our side were present. I was actually telling my sister that the good news is that the bride's family isn't much more civilized than ours. lol. That's horrible! So, I either have to marry a dude with a family that's embarrassing but means well or elope. Great!

Hos need love too

2006-12-14T17:56:00.000-05:00

So, I was reading the news and ran across a few interesting stories out of England. It seems that over there people truly care for their hoes. The first headline was "5 Slain Prositutes Mourned in England." There's a serial killer on the loose and they found 5 bodies in 11 days. What was interesting was that the police actually put out a warning to the street walkers to stay their asses indoors. There's a murderer looking for you! One chick even talked to the news and told them that she just had to go back outside because she needs money for herion. And her body was found a few days later. Guess psycho was trying to prove something. This isn't funny, so I'll make a serious observation. I thought it was big for the police to show concern for dead prositutes. Hoes need love too..

Speaking of hoes, how about Paris Hilton trying to take up for the panty-less Britney Spears? I see nothing wrong with a lady leaving her panties at home, I'm hip and with it. But, leaving your two infants at home? Then letting a bootleg porno star/singer take up for you? That's unforgivable. That's all I'm saying.

Separating blacks from N'uhs

2006-12-13T14:03:00.000-05:00

So, someone forwarded me this article from Esquire Magazine called The Manifesto of the Ascendancy for the Modern American Nigger. Boring title until you get to the end, huh?

Anyway, this essayist is after my own heart. We've talked about this topic on MBT before. He basically is saying that there are niggers and there are black folks. Niggers don't like education, don't get married, live off of welfare and WIC, and most important, they're victims. Black people are very accomplished, they vote, pay taxes, go to work and walk upright just like white people. So he'd like to see Black people finally pull away from niggers. Niggers hate people like Condi Rice and Colin Powell because they're all smart and Republican, but the author of the essay, John Ridley, thinks that black people should embrace those who are accomplished and highly educated. Really, Colin Powell should be a hero in our community and so should Condi.. (I'm really a fan of Colin Powell and always have been, plus I'm educated.. guess that make me black!)

So the writer points to the situation in 2001 when an American surveillance [not spy] plane went down in China. The Chinese had our plane with all that high-tech snooping gear and like 20 U.S. gov't employees. Bush appointed Condi and Colin to take care of the situation because Condi is a Russia expert and Colin is the ultimate diplomat. The writer knows a lot about this subject, but basically the point is that Cheney and Bush got impatient with the diplomacy process and tried to tough talk China.. calling the people on the plane hostages and telling China to send them home and refusing to apologize. That got them nowhere, so they had to pull back and let Condi and Colin to clean up. They did a great job, and the Jesse Jackson ["an old-school Negro"] came in to steal their [the "new school negroes"] victorious moment. They didn't let him, but if you let Mr. Ridley tell it, Niggers rained on their parade anyway. How?

Well, you're lucky I'm mentally checked out at work today, because I've read the 4-page essay and I know that answer. The Cincinnati riots took place at the same time that the "hostages" were being released from China thanks to Condi and Colin's hard work. Thanks to the hoopla over 15 Black men who had been gunned down by Cincinnati police over 6 years, Condi and Colin got no attention. The writer does an excellent job of pointing out that really of those 15 black men killed by cops, quite a few were murderers or cop killers or really assualted cops first. So, it's not really like they didn't deserve to die.

Anyway, where's this all going right? That's what I was wondering too.. Basically, Black Americans should follow the path of Condi and Colin and stop following old-school negroes who cling to eternal victimazation, like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. If you want to be black you need to acheive without stressing the limitations of racism. Close your eyes and forge ahead, I guess.

I don't know about dude. He's smart and all.. I'm not mad at that. But the problem with black people pulling away from niggers is that, in many cases you're asking us to categorize ourselves, then damn each other to one group or the other. Then you're asking me to pull away from family members or friends who may have been born into niggerdom. It's a hard life to escape, I'd say. If we pull away, then how will "our people" ever rise up as a whole? Maybe that's never going to happen anyway.. But he saying to cut off the dead weight of the black community. Then he's saying, stop marching in the streets when these hoodlums are gunned down by police.. He's asking "black people" to let "niggers" fight their own battles. But he's also acknowledging that they don't have the tools to do so. I'm glad I'm black, but I just can't turn away from the plight of so-called niggers. That's crazy talk.

Of course, we've talked about that on this blog before. Even I have questioned why we let the women on Flavor of Love embarass us. They're not LIKE me. The other interesting thing here is that when Chris Rock said he loved black people but hated niggers it was funny. I agreed immediately. Now that this dude has gathered said it in an academic tone and published it in GQ (he must not have wanted the niggers to read it, lol. I couldn't resist. ) it's like I can't agree.

You still reading this? Whatchuthink?

Is that your dog?

2006-12-08T11:12:00.000-05:00

This may be a chick thing, but I'm trying to be a better blogger so I guess you have to read whatever the hell I think of. Here's what I've been pondering lately..

It's about friendships. Girls have the worst time maintaining friends because we're so complex. Shit has to be sooo deep and we expect probably too much out of each other. In the territory of dealing with "best friends" and their men it gets especially treacherous. I mean, we talk to each other about boys all the time. Some girls have nothing else to talk about other than boys (boring friends). So what happens when your girl falls head over heels for some loser and you know that you're the one she'll be complaining to when he fucks her over? I mean, I've been that chick- but I also know that you can only expect a friend to lend their ear so many times before you have to handle your own issues.

I have this friend, who has a friend who dates a loser. I mean, on paper and in person. Not a loser with charm or charisma or extreme sex appeal, like the losers I've dated. Just a loser. I never liked him, but I always let them live and I never shared my opinion. (I mean, my friend never shared her opinions.) Anyway, they've hit rock bottom, came to the correct conclusion to break up and somehow found their way back into each other's arms. This time, it's just hard to watch. The romance simply won't work and if it does, the lady who deserves more will have to settle for less and may end up with baggage she can't get rid of, or miss wonderful opportunities that loser doesn't support.

My friend finds herself not wanting to talk to her best friend because she's so disappointed in her piss poor decisions and would rather not be around to watch. Is that fair?

Another similar scenario is unfolding with yet another friend of mine. She's had five-month stand-off with her best friend that goes back to a simple missed phone call. Her long-term friendship may be over because she committed the unthinkable crime of not giving her best friend phone messages from a guy she liked. Never mind their long history of him disrespecting her and ranking her very low on his priority list. Never mind the fact that her friend gave out her phone number without asking. She was only trying to look out and spare them both the drama of dealing with him and now she's the bad friend. It never fails that ANYTIME you step between a woman and her man (even if he isn't her man at all) you will lose. Do guys have these issues too? If your man's dating the hoe of babylon or a gold digger do you mention it? Does he get mad?

So what's the solution?
A. Stay out of your friends' business even when they drag you in with details?
B. Simply listen and pretend like you support their dumb ass decisions?
C. Tell them how you feel and let them deal with it any way they please?

I mean, you could always just be one of those girls who say: I don't hang with girls. But, that's really lame. I love my girls.

Just wondering...

2006-12-07T10:51:00.000-05:00

This blog is still here, huh? Anyway, does anyone know where all the affordable gas went? Remember that we had plenty of it back in later October, right before the mid-term elections? I'm wondering if we used it all. Now, it's all high again, WTF?

Someone tried to blame it on the end of the summer travel season (back in August), saying that the supply and demand had been normalized. But, I ain't buying that crap. Another newspaper pointed out the India and China are growing and developing a larger appetite for oil, which is effecting the demand globally.. umm.. No.

I just want to know HOW they could afford to drop the prices for the Republicans. I remember seeing one gas station in my area on the news during election time. They were asking him why his gas was still high ($2.25 or so) while everyone else's was like $2.11, and he said that he'd gotten locked in to buying gas at a high rate and couldn't afford to drop his prices. But it was weird.. it seemed like he was the only station in town that didn't get the "better drop your prices for elections" memo... Not only that, I think that he got the memo and really felt bad that he couldn't comply and now the news was putting him on blast. Like, why didn't you get with the program? How'd they do that?!
Seriously. If that's an option then they should have price wars like the airlines. We could get little emails from Exxon or BP saying that gas will be on sale in this town starting Wed. but you have to purchase by Friday. Whatever rules they want. I think that would provide relief for us, healthy competition to them and if nothing else it would make buying gas a little more fun.

Kramer's not a racist

2006-11-21T07:52:00.000-05:00

At last, some inspiration. Michael Richards, the man who played Kramer on "Seinfeld" has gone on the record to let everyone know that he's not a racist. I guess he just plays one on stage when people heckle him. Here's what's funny, you fearlessly call a black man a nigger on stage, but you're afraid of being labeled a racist. Luckily, for him, this guy has nothing to lose other than his stand-up money. Maybe he can open for the Prussian Blue sisters on their tour? The comedy club had him back the next night, but now they've banned him from performing.

Peep how many people were still laughing during his rant...

Also, this is a real world example of how "cracker" just doesn't hold the bite that the n-bomb does even in this day and age when many dreamers would believe racism doesn't exist. Someone tried to fight back and cracker was the strongest word they had.. Crackers are great with soup and tuna salad..How can that be half as offensive as nigger?

Hal-lay-lu-juh! Rummy's leaving

2006-11-08T14:42:00.000-05:00

I just got the news by email that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfield is stepping down. Why didn't someone call me or send a text message? This is sunshine on a rainy day!

I hear we're looking for a "fresh perspective" on the war and that Rumsfield and Dubya agree this is the way to go.... I don't know about you, but I'm crying my eyes out--- with joy. Will this really make a difference though? They're looking at bringing in a former CIA director Robert Gates to replace him. But isn't this massive military machine already in motion? Slow moving, sure, but it must take months to change the course of a war, right? What's he going to do?

Some people think Rummy's just a scapegoat for the Republican party and I'd kinda have to agree that this seems like a sacrificial lamb. We lost the elections so we're going to fall on our sword like a samurai... Since everyone's been begging the old fart to resign, it's a pretty easy call to make. I mean, when military generals who risk life and limb and sanity for the U.S. policies turn on you, you've REALLY messed up. These cats really, really want to believe in their leaders. It's not like one of us civilians who love ya one minute and hate you the next. Or hate you all along before you even get appointed.

Boy am I glad I voted for my shadow senator and shadow congress person yesterday. I really feel that I made a difference, now. Someone explained to me that the District of Columbia has a senator and a congressional representative, but they can't vote. They can hang around meetings and speak about D.C. concerns.. but that's all. Sweet! I might throw my hat in the race in 08!

Election Day...

2006-11-07T11:37:00.000-05:00

So, I don't think I'm going to vote today because I don't know the candidates. I'm new to my area and I don't like the idea of people who don't care just randomly picking names. I have been advised to just go exercise my right to vote and pick names, or vote for black people. But that just sounds like a waste of time.

Then I saw this video on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart last night, or the night before. It really made me feel like midterm elections are really about some bullshit. I mean, he's right. Most people are being re-elected. Besides, I live in the district of Columbia, I don't get to pick a senator and help the Democrats take over.. I mean, who cares about local politics if you don't have kids in school and you don't own property?
That said, I hope everyone who lives in a real state votes today...

I also hope that Michael Steele loses in Maryland. To all my peeps in Maryland, please vote for me today, against Steele. And if you see his sons, please tell them to get haircuts.. Thanks!

Lastly, my girl/publicist Red State Hostage pointed out that in the image above, the republicans are all on blue backgrounds and the democrats are in red. Everyone knows which color goes with which, so why the mix up? I'll tell you why, because politicians prey on the stupidity of the average voter. Everyone knows that old people love to vote and that they can't see well. They rely on things like colors and shapes to indicate what they're looking at when they can't red the type. I'm not sure who this would benefit, because it seems that everyone would just vote for the wrong person... So, maybe this isn't as deep as it seems. Maybe they just messed up.
Who knows.. Democracy sure is sweet!

Quote of the day...

2006-11-06T16:04:00.000-05:00

"Hef [Hugh Hefner] hates him now! So I lived and I learned right?," Kendra Wilkinson said. "I will never do a rap video again unless its Three 6 Mafia, Too $hort, Bow Wow or Nelly!"

This chick is 21 and she lives in the Playboy Mansion with Hugh Hefner. She's saying that Hef hates Eminem now. This is old news, but it seems that she was doing her first rap video for "Smack That" with Eminem and Akon, when Em threw water on her in a disrespectful manner. He ruined her hair and makeup and made her cry, then sent flowers to the Playboy Mansion to smooth things over.

She may be brilliant, (although I'd bet money she isn't) but she sure does sound like a dumb ho in this quote. Geesh! Too Short's gonna treat you better than Eminem? Have you heard a Too Short song? On a different note, she has an uncanny resemblence to a Barbie doll I once owned..

Catch A Fire

2006-10-27T16:23:00.000-04:00

Whatever you have planned this weekend, please make time to go see Catch A Fire starring Derek Luke (Antwon Fisher) and Tim Robbins (Nothing to Lose). Tim Robbins has been in tons of stuff, but Nothing to Lose was so funny.. Anyway, there's nothing funny about Catch A Fire. The film is honestly the best I've seen in 06.. If Derek doesn't get an Oscar nod it will be a tragedy. He completely became this guy Patrick Chamusso, a real guy from South Africa who fought back against Apartheid. Derek never lost his accent and was really moving. His wife was played by this actress Bonnie Henna who is from South Africa and has been acting since age 13. She also put it down.

The movie starts with their wedding and runs through the end of Apartheid. If you don't know about apartheid or can't recall how fucked up it was, this film does a good job of reminding you and it's so important to remember because this shit was going on until like 1991. In fact, there's still plenty more to know about apartheid after you watch the film, it's not a history lesson at all. I remember studying it in school, but don't remember a story that brought the emotions behind it out like this movie does. The film also gives you another view of so-called terrorists, because that's what they called the freedom fighters that tried to end apartheid.

They used a lot of Bob Marley music because his music was really popular in the country at this time. It's not too bloody or violent and it will look and sound better in the theater.
Go go go!

Remember when picking a ring for you phone used to take hours?

2006-10-26T12:50:00.000-04:00

I just got a new cell phone and it brings me SO MUCH JOY. It makes me giddy like the moment the sexy boy you've been eyeing hollas at you, or a $10 pair of Banana Republic pants, or free Ben & Jerrys or free bottle service at the club.. I'm talking happy. I can't emphasis how much better I feel now that I can walk around freely without having to recharge my battery every 5 minutes. Plus, I'm a text messaging fool now because I have a QWERTY keyboard and a text messaging package. I can capitalize with ease and add question marks in one swift move..I'm feeling higher than Whitney Houston about my level of connectivity right now.

Plus, I've fallen pretty hard for Verizon's ringback tones. I currently have three at .99 per month. I mean, you can't just let the same song ride forever, right? Trust me I tried and I had to hear people whine about how tired they were of my song. But you've already bought rights to the song for one year, so you can't just let it sit in your box. That's stupid..

But that's not why I'm mad. I mean it irks me a little, but I'm cool with that. I'm mad because I went through my ringtones yesterday on my new phone that brings me so much joy. I have like one suitable ringtone, the others are all beeps or wack "brrring, brrring" style rings. There are like three or four melody rings (including "When the Saints Come Home" and something suitable only for day care workers) and so I went with the same tone I used to have. Something Latin that sounds like the "Sex In the City" theme song. But here's my thing. This fucking phone retails for $400, I paid far less for it of course. Why in Sam Hill does it only come with one damn ringtone? Well, we all know why, because we're supposed to be downloading ringtones. But for real, honestly, I don't want to hear "Miss New Booty" or "Stuntin Like My Daddy" or "I'm Bossy" or any song every time my phone rings -or everytime someone elses phone rings. I just don't. In fact, they know that, which is why ringtones are such a big business. You can't just have one, once you start you'll need one every month. That's 12 a year. And that's before you get the bright idea to specialize rings for your different friends. Can I get one free to get me going? NO!!!! That'd be too convenient. If it's not one thing it's another with these frigging cell phone companies.

Oh, and yesterday one of my coworkers pulled up next to me on the road and was like, hey what are you listening to an iPod? I was like, dawg, this is a headset. I'm on the phone. LOL. He was like, oh. So now I need a wireless headset, because my headset has gone the way of the bag phone it seems. Don't even get me started on that.

Yo, remember the bag phone?!! My momma had one.. lmao.

Bill Bellamy in surgery?

2006-10-25T10:46:00.000-04:00

I heard an interview with Bill Bellamy on the radio yesterday morning. He said that he may be joining the "Grey's Anatomy" team in the hospital! He told the Russ Parr morning show that they may see him in surgery... He also a new comedy show coming on TV One and he's touring.. I've never seen him live, but I have seen his movies. And they didn't leave me wanting more. He should be on Def Comedy Jam soon, so I'll have to see what that's about.

But back to "Grey's Anatomy," can this dude fit into the hospital setting? I just hope they don't try to make him act serious.. Any time someone gets shot or a natural disaster hits, Bill should be off duty.

Monday night

2006-10-23T15:13:00.000-04:00

So, it's Monday. Hooray! The only good thing about today is that the CW moved "Girlfriends" back to Monday night. I was excited to see this. They also brought the rest of the "soul food Sunday" lineup over to Monday, "Everybody Hates Chris" "The Game" and crappy "All of Us."

I know that some people think "Girlfriends" is a turd of a show and I used to defend it, but they have about one more week before I flush this show out of my weekly viewing schedule. Without Toni Childs the show is kinda wack. Then Joan is going through her awakening period. That's about as entertaining as watching my cat lick his ass. Mya seems to be doing nothing but reacting to Joan, the other character Lynn is supposed to be doing nothing, so that's what she's doing. And there are no men in their lives, minus Mya's husband.... How unrealistic is that? There's nothing wrong with these chicks. Joan, in real life, would at least have some broke cat who is really great in bed trying to move into her mansion and borrow her whip.

Then the character William is engaged to his ex.. Come on, everyone knows William's not going to marry her. That'd be death to his character. I mean, this show needs a boost quick. The writers need to scrap whatever they have planned and throw Joan in bed with William next week. Then they can have his fiancé come in and find them... Then they can deal with the fallout for a couple of weeks. Hell they may want to throw Joan in bed with Lynn! I don't know, but I'm not even stressing tuning in for this mess. Of course, I probably will.

I looked up Jill Marie Jones on IMDB and it looks like she's just doing little movies that no one will watch. She'll find her way, but I think the producers should consider giving her a call. The way the script is written, they can bring her character back from NYC at any point.

I like "The Game," that's a decent show.. I also like "Ugly Betty" on Thursdays and "Six Degrees." With "Grey's Anatomy" in between, that's a good night.

Crusty's gay update

2006-10-20T18:03:00.000-04:00

Suddenly, I just felt like embracing the random nickname that I was given on here.

So, the breaking news is that T.R. Knight, who plays George on "Grey's Anatomy" is
gay. I mean, really, is it necessary to make actors admit they're gay? Wouldn't be more surprising if he weren't gay? Not to say that all actors are gay, but much like waiters, hairstylists and flight attendants, I think theater and acting is an acceptable profession for a gay guy. There was a prime example of this in the cinematic goodness that is Team America. Remember that actor they got to pretend to be a terrorist? He had a hard time understanding that the Team America boss didn't want sex from him. Gay love and theater go back like Catholic priests and, well, gay love. It's age old. But I will say that T.R. is believably hetero in his role. But I thought I heard that there will be an alternative hookup on "Grey's Anatomy" this season.. and when I heard there may be a gay romance, I thought it'd be betweeen George and someone. By the way, how wack was it for George's girl to sleep with McSteamy? He's so not hot.

Anyway, in other news.. This teenage girl in Atlanta is on trial for intentionally killing a mother of three while trying to kill herself. She sent countdown text messages to a girl from school saying that she was about to kill herself. Why? Because this chick wouldn't have sex with her. End of her world. Then the dumb ho didn't even die, instead she killed this innocent lady by running head on into her car. And left the woman's 6-year-old daughter, who was riding in the car with her, with broken ribs and other injuries. The suicidal chick only succeeded in breaking her own ankle. Sometimes I wish I believed in capital punishment... Prosecuters are hoping to try her as an adult and get an automatic life sentence. How embarrassing for her family, on top of the sad news that your sister or daughter is suicidal.

How could I forget?!!

2006-10-20T11:58:00.000-04:00

I know you folks talked big shit about “Flavor of Love” but I’m willing to bet that no one missed the season finale. I sure didn’t, well I did fall asleep on the official clock ceremony twice. But I saw the majority of the last episode. So the bootylicious Deelishis was victorious. How does that make you feel? I don’t feel anyway about it because I could care less who Flavor Flav dates, but I'm cool with Deelishis. She had the best weave and the best personality. Besides, I was too busy hating on New York to pay attention to homegirl… Flav has admitted that he brought New York back to make his show interesting, as if celebrity pool parties with free lap dances, girl fights and poo poo accidents weren’t enough.

I just couldn’t get over how extra dramatic this girl New York was. I heard she never turns that drama off and that she’s actually a pleasure to be around, because she’s very funny and animated. But it’s like...I just have questions.

Why does New York whimper while kissing Flav, as if she’s overcome with emotion. Do guys really believe that shit?
Why did she yell out "@&#! me proper!” when they closed the door? Isn’t that actually for TV and not for Flav at all?
Who’s Deelishis’s baby daddy?
Did anyone else’s crazy radar start beeping when Deelishis admitted to sleeping with Flav’s photo and falling for him during season one? I mean, he’s a 47-year-old man who takes chicks to KFC for candle lit dinners!
What’s up with those keloids on Deelishis? I will say that her confidence and success in TV dating should have inspired many young women who live with keloids.
I wonder if she ever feels weighted down by all that ass?
How long do you really think New York stayed in her room after she told Flav that she wasn’t going to spend then night and before she packed her bag and went knocking on his door?
How funny is it that New York sees faults in her mom and basically is a younger, nicotine addicted version of her?
Why did New York show her ass, literally??! If you haven't seen this, check out the video below.. What a truck stop hooker!

Splogs

2006-10-18T12:36:00.000-04:00

Have you guys heard of these? They're spam blogs. In fact Wired Magazine says about 56% of all English-language blogs are actually just spam. Surely you've ran into them when Googling something. You get to this page and it's a bunch of garbage links to nowhere..

How frustrating, right? But imagine that you take time to write your own blogs and then someone comes in and spams it. We've all seen these spineless wankers posting dumb mess on MBT. Why do they do that? Do any of you click on their stupid links? I try to remove them, but sometimes I miss one or two.

They suck and I wish I could do more about them. I guess I could make my blog one where I have to approve all of the comments, but that's wack. I mean, if I could really approve of these comments then I'm not sure that I'd allow anyone to disagree. I like logging on and finding out that someone disagrees with me, but I don't know that I'd be able to read it privately then decide to post it online. I'd probably be like, "that's a good point." DELETE

So this is a message to the cocksuckers that spam my blog:

Dear Spammy the Jerk,

What will we do with your kind? You're amazingly annoying and very stealthy. I understand that Blogger.com was hosting 100,000 of your kind last year. So, you've successfully embeded yourself in my peaceful community. Well, I hate you and your annoying false posts to my blog.

Sometimes, I log on and see that someone has commented on one of my posts and I get all excited to read it and it's one your stupid ass links. Where the hell do these links go? Who do you work for?

Fuck it, are they hiring? I'd like to be invited to the party. I mean, you must get something out of all these postings. It must be worth the trouble. How much dough are you making, do you have a day job? If you're listening, please let me know. Somtimes in your comments, you say that you were reading my blog and didn't find what you were looking for. Well I hope you're reading this. Show yourself!

I'm not a violent person, but if I were, and all sploggers and spammers worked in an office building together, I'd totally financially support a violent attack. Hell, I may even help pour gasoline around the building. I'd even support Abu Ghraib-style torture for scummy sploggers. How do you sleep at night after you spend your day bothering upstanding citizens who innocently surf the Internet and read blogs?

Eat Shit,

Atsui_gal

At last, something for the ladies

2006-10-17T11:03:00.000-04:00

So I was doing some research on Mike Tyson when I ran into this info about Heidi Fleiss starting up a stud farm in Nevada. (Mike reportedly told Heidi that he's interested in putting in some work on the farm, which is an all-male brothel.) But it's not just any old whore house. You know we ladies have different needs, so Heidi's stud farm is going to be an upscale pleasure palace with a spa, marble floors, a sex toy shop and 20 secluded bungalows. The fun starts at $250 per hour and there's no male to male sex allowed. At least it's not for sale.

You know, Heidi's been pimping since pimpin' been pimping. She already did time for her high-class ring of hoes in Hollywood. So, this time she's doing it legally. She's applied for a license and Nevada already has laws requiring STD testing for sex industry workers. Anyway, this is a long way to travel for the D. This will be the first establishment of its kind in U.S. One chick interviewed by Newsweek magazine asked who would drive an hour away from the Las Vegas strip for sex when it's so easy to get right there. Hmm.. Who would want to run $250, plus spa treatments on their credit card for sex?

Who even needs to go through this type of trouble for sex? The only positive I can see out of this is that dude won't be calling you up afterward. (I mean, if that's a concern.) I'd imagine that these women will either be unsatisfied married women or Deuce Bigalow-esque rejects. But I'd really like to get a peek at who they are. HBO is supposed to be filming a documentary about it. And the article I read said that Heidi had received 1,000 applications from wannabe studs by Dec. 05. She had already hired some hunky soap actor to work, now Mike Tyson is interested... If she can sell sex with celebrities for $250 an hour, she might just be in business. I already hear teenage girls saying, "Mom, I thought I wanted breast implants for my 18th birthday, but instead I'd like to go to the stud farm. Kevin Federline is working!"

Jay-Z takes it to another level

2006-10-17T07:21:00.000-04:00

I don't really watch football, but I heard that Jay-Z was debuting his new comeback video during half time at Monday night football. So, I tuned in to the game last night to support the illest rapper alive. As if getting a random hip-hop video aired during Monday Night Football in the post-Nipplegate era isn't a big enough coup, the video itself was on another level.

I hear that BET aired this video several times yesterday, but I'm not sure if it was the same one I saw, because the one last night had a heavy sports theme. He was riding in a car with Dale Earnhart Jr. and they were racing that famous female driver, what's her name? Danica Patrick. I was like, hmm that's hot. Jay-Z's NASCAR fans will be pleased. Then the video had lots of football footage edited in, which was aight. I like when they dance in their tight pants. Then there was a sprinkle of sistas shaking their beloved rumps, but not too much. I thought it was.. interesting. Overall the video was hot. But the details were.. interesting. He still had the classic speed boat scene, gotta do that.

Man, I can't hate on Jay-Z cause I like him, but I couldn't help but wonder why taking it to another level means abandoning the culture that brought you to that point. Like, I'm really doing it now! I'm beyond black. I think Oprah has her own race now, and Jay-Z is moving into her realm. (Black or African American, White, Hispanic, Oprah) NASCAR is far beyond the segment of the black community that he once catered to. And I'm not saying that I don't want Oprah and Jay-Z in my group anymore, I'm not kicking them out like that Dave Chappelle race draft skit. I think that you move into another not-black-not-white-like-Oprah race based on how people percieve you and treat you, not on what you do. It's the fact that you can do things other people of your race can't do, like Jay-Z can get a rap video on Monday Night Football and Oprah can tell rich white ladies what to do.

The song is crazy though, and the video was directed by F. Gary Gray who did The Italian Job and Friday. And besides Jay-Z is far beyond his fans of all races. I just wonder how Nas feels about Jay-Z making this massive comeback a month before he drops his new album on Def Jam...

Kiss my juicy brown booty, work

2006-10-13T11:26:00.000-04:00

So, I'm currently crushed with work. I'm sitting here at my desk typing vigorously, and I'm like, man I haven't blogged in forever. I was going to do it last night but my fingers and brain were too tired. Then this morning I was all focused on rushing to work so that I can do my part and break out at a decent hour. But then I was like, yo, what about me?

So, I say all that to say fuck work. I hope you're at work reading this right now. Take a break. I don't own this joint, do you own your office? I look like I'm working right now. If I get fired though, I will add a link to my paypal account and ask for donations.

I've been away because I got to go on a trip to the Bermuda Music Festival. Bermuda's lovely, but let me tell you the dirty truth about this 22-mile long stretch of dirt in the Atlantic.

A. Everything's crazy expensive AND the Bermudian dollar is equivalent to the US dollar so you ain't getting a break. It hurts more than buying Euros. I mean a loaf of bread is $4 in the store and gas is about $6-7 per gallon and burgers are $10-15 on average. I left my credit card in the room one day and rolled out with $20. I went to a museum that was wack, but cost me $10, then I stopped at this restaurant to eat.. I had like $12. Do you know that all I could afford was soup? After tax and gratuity, there was nothing on the menu that I could afford Then I got lucky and ran into the cutest couple on earth, fellow journalists.. They ate with me and paid for my soup. So I dropped cash on the tip..

B. There's no fast food on the island, with the exception of one KFC. (And I don't like fried chicken. I'm sorry, it just does nothing for me. It took me more than 20 years to make this confession. ) Now I never thought I'd give a shit about fast food, because a trip to Wendy's is like a treat to me. But when food is this expensive you find yourself wondering, "Where's the $1 menu when you need one?"

C. These people don't like fast food, but they also lack national dishes. I'm not the only person who noticed this. Bermuda lacks a definitive culture. One lady asked, "What reminds you of home if you don't have anything unique?" I mean, they don't have a style of music like the steel pans, soca, reggae, whatever. They don't have a unique dish, like shark and bake or curry chicken, although I'd give them fish soup. They have this spicy fish soup that's brown and quite tasty. The don't have a dialect, they sound totally British. It was a disappointment. But they do have Jamaican restaurants on the island, proof that Jamaicans do it better.

D. At 22 miles long, the speed limit is 20 mph. So it takes one -two hours to get across the damn island.. Geesh!

OK, I'm done talking shit about Bermuda. It's absolutely gorgeous. You don't need fast food and the lack of culture just means you can chill on the beach and not feel like you're missing some amazing tour. They have some tight caves that are worth visiting. The bus system is great and they play the radio on the bus which I think really helps you pass the time. I'll add a picture to this tomorrow... The water has like 200 ft visibilty, it's just perfect.

So, here's the type of stuff I only share w/ my blog buddies..

I come into my hotel room in the middle of the day, before dinner. I'm on the island alone, which is fine by me. But it is super romantic. My neighbors next door seem to have caught the vibe because they were are doing the horizontal mambo.. How do I know? I can hear them clear as day! At 4 p.m. in paradise you can hear a pin drop.

At first I was just curious, like what's that noise? Then I'm like, OK, I've identified the noise, now do I, A. Keep listening to see if they say something funny like, "Ride my pony!" or B. Turn on the TV and drown out the sound?

I never saw the neighbors so it's not like it'd be weird to listen. And I don't think sex is gross or anything. I actually briefly tried to imagine what they might look like and their ages... Based on what I heard they sounded like overweight people, or older people LOL. It would be like, bang bang bang, then silence, like they were tired from all that banging. LMAO. I'm so ashamed! Naw, I'm lying.

In the end, after an undisclosed amount of time, I determined that they weren't talkers and decided to turn on the TV. I'm always nervous about people hearing any noise out of my bedroom, since I'm unmarried and all. So I decided it was bad karma to listen.

Model behavior

2006-09-26T11:39:00.000-04:00

Man, I'm so thrilled that someone somewhere is finally saying something about these sickly models strutting their skeletons down the runway. In Madrid, Spain they banned maybe five models from Fashion Week because they didn't pass a body mass test, they had to have a BMI of 18. They're requiring that doctors come in and weigh models and if they're not healthy enough they have to sit out. Hooray! They're actually worried about the image that the models are portraying.

I heard that at New York's fashionweek people gasped at the sight of some of the thin models. They said they could count their ribs and that their knee caps were larger than their calves. Most folks in the fashion industry are thrilled about the movement, but London refused to follow Madrid and ban sick models during their fashion week. The incident that sent Madrid's fashion community over the edge? A 22-year-old model died after eating "little more than leaves" for months. Dawg, that's ridiculous. Who eats leaves? Hopefully we're talking lettuce and stuff. But why eat at all in that case.

My favorite quote from the articles:

"We demand a health certificate for all our models," said Guido Dolci, president of Assem, the association of modeling agencies in Milan. "There are 1,200 models working this week, and I challenge anyone to find a single certified anorexic."

Whateva man. They may not be certified by your doctors...

In related news, I hear that the CW sent a memo to Tyra Banks asking her to lose weight because she's not representing the thin supermodel size that she's asking her contestants on ANTM to achieve. But I believe this is total horse manure.. Why? Because this site mediatakeout.com reported it.. They've always "learned" something from a friend or secret source. And it's always completely false. I swear they just sit around the office making stuff up. In fact, it's probably some guy sitting around in his mom's house making stuff up. Anyway, it's juicy. And then it gives people like me "rumors" to discuss. So maybe there's no shame in actually starting the rumors.

Anyway, I enjoy watching ANTM for some reason. But Tyra tries to keep the girls healthy and I remember her sending one girl home because she sent the wrong message to other wannabes. At the same time, she'll give chicks the speech if their weight gets out of hand, by top model standards. They have to strike a balance. I remember Ms. Jay called one girl a clothes hanger, and it was a compliment. Like "I love her! She's like a clothes hanger..." Well if the fashion industry needs sticks to hang clothes on, why not just look to the robotics industry to develop a clothes hanger that glides up and down the cat walk? Good question, I'll tell you why they don't. It's because the purpose of the cat walk is to see the designs in action, as they would look on a person. Now, how can I decide if I want the clothes if the people wearing them look like stick figures? They've definitely gotten carried away and I'm glad to hear someone's finally saying enough is enough.

And those poor model babies.. Seriously. These chicks make big dollars for a day's work and can't even EAT!!! What the hell are you working for? They need this change more than the impressionable girls watching them.

Silly Grey...

2006-09-22T12:22:00.000-04:00

Hey does anyone watch "Grey's Anatomy"? Doesn't matter, I can catch you up. The new season premiered last night and Grey is the main character. She's had a relationship with a surgeon that was separated from his wife because she cheated on him. Last season his wife returned (also a surgeon or doctor in the hospital) and he decided to work things out with her instead of starting or continuing his relationship with Meredith Grey. So, the season finale was action packed, people died and got shot and all this stuff, but Meredith also hooked up with McDreamy again. McDreamy is what they call the married surgeon dude. Long story short, they finish consummating their love and Meredith can't find her panties. You know men are never any help in these situations, so he can't find them either. Another staff member runs in the room as Meredith was getting dressed and tells her there's an emergency and she's needed. This chick now knows the slept together. Meredith never finished looking for the undies.. Who does? McDreamy's wife. What does she do with them? Post them on a board under "Lost and Found."

So, that's next week's episode. But this week was major for fans because McDreamy finally came to Meredith and told her that he loves her and wants to be with her. I guess he's ready to leave the wife, besides he threw his wife out in the rain in the middle of the night when she cheated on him. He threw all of her clothes on the steps, it was serious.

So, of course there's a only-in-Hollywood twist to the story. Another guy Meredith is dating knows something happened between her and McDreamy while he was hanging out with her at the hospital and this dude is still trying to get with her. ONLY in Hollywood. "Yeah, I think you may have had sex with your ex while we were together on a date, but if there's a ring, my hat is in. Pick me!" Yeah right!

It just gets me to thinking, why the hell would Meredith- a very smart girl who can cut people open and save lives- want to get with this dude that cheated on his wife twice? He's still not officially divorced and wasn't when he hooked up with her the first time. (Of course they didn't know that they'd both be working at the same hospital at the time.) I'm guessing the only reason they'd stay together would be to justify their behavior. (Although, she was innocent the first time she slept with him, she was wrong for the last time.) What happens if Meredith and McDreamy get together and another hot attendee blows into town?

I've never dated or done anything else with a married man (that I know of) but if I did end up liking one... don't see how, but let's just say I did. Naw, I wouldn't. OK but my advice to people who do is to not sleep with him until the divorce papers are signed. Unless you just like married men, in that case go nuts. But here's the thing, all they want is sex on the side of their marriage. That's why they're dating, they're not looking for love or more responsibility than they already have. Most are never going to leave their wives, although their wives may leave them. They could fall in love like McDreamy has, but that still won't be enough for them to say, "I can't take this double life anymore! I don't want two vaginas and two women loving me! I want only one!" When Meredith slept with him the second time she completely played herself. In real life this dude would take his happy ass right back home and make up with the wife... but since this is Hollywood, they may live happily ever after.

One more thing:
Did anyone else hear that Sandra Oh's Character Yang is Jewish? This is just new to me, the Jewish/Asian thing. But I did some very brief research and found another blogger who was thrilled because she's Asian-American-Jewish and never thought she'd be represented on TV.

Reusable paper bag

2006-09-21T08:11:00.000-04:00

So I support these organic food, vegetarian/vegan-friendly, tree-hugging markets because I believe their food is fresher. I went to one the other day to get some lunch. I had one item in hand and dude was like, would you like a bag? I said sure, I'll take one of those plastic bags right there. He was like, "Well... I have a paper bag right here that you can have." In this tone, that implied it was the correct answer. So, I was like... hmm paper is better for the environment, I'll take it.

Then I'm reading the bag while I'm eating lunch and it's all like "Reuse Me" and gives this speech about how it's already been recycled once. I'm thinking to myself (not talking to the bag) "What the hell am I going to reuse this for?" Like it's still sitting on the floor in my office because it's guilted me into not throwing it away without recycling it. But what would I do with this bag? Paper bags are stupid. They get wet and can't be reused. Plastic bags, now those are reusable, you can wipe them out and crunch them up and store them. I could have held my lunch in one, then brought it home and added it to my plastic bag collection. Some bags I use to take lunch to work, some I use to throw away kitty poo, others I can take on vacation and hold swimsuits or dirty clothes in them... Can a paper bag do any of that? Not as well as a plastic bag...

I guess my point is that I don't really appreciate this dude's attitude that he gave me about wanting plastic.. don't I have the right to choose? Then he gives me this bag printed with all this propaganda. Everyone knows that people love plastic. If we give paper a chance, we don't need a damn speech. That's preaching to the choir. Do real grocery stores even have paper bags any more? I don't notice them and that's because they're just not so reusable. And you can't carry like 8 at a time. You can only carry about 2 paper bags at a time, most don't even have handles.

OK, I'm done.. just saying that paper bags aren't as reusable as they may seem.

What it do...

2006-09-19T11:15:00.000-04:00

Hey peeps,
I miss chatting with you and I'm trying to catch up with the comments. One thing I wanted to share was this info I got today from a homey of mine on myspace. We went to school together and he lives in Houston, where coincidentally hip-hop also dwells. It's the birthplace ( I think) of this catchy-ass phrase "What it Do?" Paul Wall says it ALL THE TIME. And now people use it as a greetings, hey, What it Do? So, my buddy asked me this and I was like, "honestly dude, I don't even know how to answer that one." It's the first step into aging, you loose understanding of slang. I'm still cool as a polar bear's toenails, but my little nephew recently pointed out that the only person he knows who says "cool beans" is his Nana. I held back the tears and vowed to never say "cool beans" again. lol.
Anyway, my boy sent me a list of appropriate responses to the burning question "What it do?"

Proper Responses.

It's Done
I'm doing it
I'm making it (As in I'mma make it do what it do)
or Not a damn thing

Now you know.. Another piece of Houston slang that I picked up on recently was keeping it a hunid. That's keeping it real in Houston, one hundred (percent). Used in a sentence: "So, make long story short, I thought dude was gonna keep it a hunid with me, and he just fucked me out of my money." Lil Flip put me up on this in an interview. He also informed me that H-town has upped the percentages because, let's face it people- you have to keep shit EXTRA real these days. If you're not real, you're not even living. Am I right? You're like an inanimate object. lol. So anyway, Flip says that they've changed it to 1000. You have to keep it 1000 with people in Houston these days. FYI..

A.I's Mama keeps it real...

2006-09-12T12:11:00.000-04:00

You can't change your mama, so don't even try. It's a good thing A.I. also believes in keeping it real and didn't try to go to Georgetown and get a law degree or some shit like that.. This lady seem like she'd be fun to hang out with. This is footage of her hanging at the NBA All-star weekend in Houston this year.

Remembering the day war got easier...

2006-09-12T08:16:00.000-04:00

Did anyone listen to my favorite president's address to the nation last night? I must admit, my attention wavered after a few minutes but I started out really listening. What I got out of it, is a new definition of terrorist. This is funny because I just had a convo about the definition of terrorism and how it's been changed since 9/11 over the weekend.

Bush said:
Since the horror of 9/11, we've learned a great deal about the enemy. We have learned that they are evil and kill without mercy -- but not without purpose. We have learned that they form a global network of extremists who are driven by a perverted vision of Islam -- a totalitarian ideology that hates freedom, rejects tolerance, and despises all dissent. And we have learned that their goal is to build a radical Islamic empire where women are prisoners in their homes, men are beaten for missing prayer meetings, and terrorists have a safe haven to plan and launch attacks on America and other civilized nations. The war against this enemy is more than a military conflict. It is the decisive ideological struggle of the 21st century, and the calling of our generation.

So if you blow shit up with high-tech bombs, but you don't believe in Islam, you're not a terrorist. The speech left no room for terrorist to not be Muslim or to be from any where other than the Middle East. When he talked about the brave souls on Flight 93 he mentioned that they recited the 23 psalms before they stormed the cockpit. That's fine, but I think he's saying it at that moment to point at that this is a war of Christians against evil extremist Muslims. The more you believe in Christianity, the stronger you are. And by the way, in case you missed it Bush wants to the war to be over too.

America did not ask for this war, and every American wishes it were over. So do I. But the war is not over -- and it will not be over until either we or the extremists emerge victorious. If we do not defeat these enemies now, we will leave our children to face a Middle East overrun by terrorist states and radical dictators armed with nuclear weapons. -Dubya

So, stop your whining. Try picking up a weapon and chasing down an extremist. I think this means that America has to kill all extremists and then teach their children to love McDonalds, MTV and low-rise jeans before the war is over. I wonder if this can be resolved before the 08 elections??

The best part of this speech that should have been about remembering 9-11 victims, is that now every Democratic candidate who had the balls to oppose the war, needs to either get down with the war on terror -which includes the war in Iraq- or admit they're willing to leave our children in a world ran by mean radical dictators with nuclear weapons. ... Um, so we took Saddam out of power, who's left? We've ignored N. Korea repeatedly.. Well, we're considering slapping sanctions on N. Korea as of TODAY. They've already started testing weapons! So, any radical dictator outside of the Middle East can have weapons of mass destruction and we can be safe without going to war with them? Interesting.

It's our anniversary, bitches #1

2006-09-01T18:14:00.000-04:00

So, anniversary month is over -it ended yesterday. I've had this comment in the back of my mind all month. I'm not sure everyone got to see it, which is unfortunate because Mcvay probably missed a deadline at work while crafting this. Then Twiz had to get in on the conference call and "co-author".. thanks for the time spent, guys. This is my number one.

Oh, the background is that this is a response to a post called "Sick Ass Dudes" on July 11, 2006. These college guys turned themselves in when they found out that a girl they allegedly raped (but thought they were just running a good old fashion train on) was well under age.. like 11. Once we established that they're idiots for not recognizing an 11 year old, someone (maybe me? maybe RSH?) asked what guys get out of the whole train experience.. Why the train?

mcvay said...
let me try to explain here
NOW before I say anything I want to say we are speaking theoritcally here...

First.. when we say "train" also referred to as a "triz" we are thinking of w/me and 1 other dude. 3 swords and somebody ends up gettin cut up! That 7 person shit is just a sick n depraved form of male bonding...Just something to say you did and laugh about w/the otehr 6 guys later (these guys will do their laughin in Calif federal penetentiary).

I dont know what the aura is about the triz...but u mention the prospect of one to even your MOST chaste of male friends and their ears will perk up (in the company of men of course...we'll front for the women unless we REAL kool w/u). Its not something you HAVE to do or even need...but u kinda like...well shit we can both hit? Its like a thrill seeking moment, its a once in a lifetime opportunity..sort of a bonding moment as well...Like we said its not something u HAVE to do...but if the opp presents itself u kinda like well I might as well see what its all about...it might suck but it could be dope? I mean u dont have to see Haleys comet..but if u have access to a telescope and it is making its way through you damn sho goin to take a peak. Because u never know how amazing it could actually look in person So curiosity def plays a role. Also in these things its not neccesarily just the guys that are pushing. Some girls are willing and able participants.

A train is like near the peak of the sexual mountain for a guy (only below a menage)...but on the other hand it sometimes leaves the girl demoralized which aint the hotness...On one hand the guy is like ...im bout to have sex w/NOOO attachments...but on the other hand things could go too far or she could feel she was taken advantage of the mornin (b/c generally massive amounts of alcohol are involved)...on one hand u feel silly standin buck nekid in a room waitin yo turn...but on the other hand...the nutt u bout to bust is goin to feel a tad better than rubbin one off yourself...Its real convoluted...

I don't know honestly how more than a 3 guy 1 girl train works..dont know how 7 dudes do the same girl b/c by guy #4 she has to be a mental wreck and it means the other 3 just ignored the signs.

did that explain trains?

7 guys beating an 11 year old...ewwww

* comment co-authored by Twz

It's our anniversary, bitches #2

2006-09-01T16:44:00.000-04:00

Man, this is fun. We'll have to do this again sometime. It was HARD picking number two.. Not that this is about quality or how much I like a comment, but I had to face the fact that there's no more room for more. I know I'm forgetting something.. Anyway, the point is that MBT is the shit because of the bold people who share their crazy anecdotes and "deep" thoughts.

ritchie five said...

Dear MBT,

I have recently come face-to-face with obesity, too. A friend of mine just moved into a house in Greensboro. It's one of these very big, very old, very "Bohemian" houses. The kind where people who don't shower often rotate in and out of rooms with regularity. (For the record my friend showers; she is very clean.)

One of the itinerants of the household is a very large woman. Very, very large. Like you, I do not have issues with large people. They do their thing, I do mine, and we meet from time to time at life's buffet tables. However, this large woman has crossed a line with me, because she is "a toucher." Yes, she enjoys "the touching."

When she talks to me she likes to touch me on my arm with her hand, or on my hand with her hand, or even on my both hands with her both hands. I'm generally not down with unsolicited touching, but hers is especially problematic because her hands are gelatinous (like gelatin) in nature. Also once I watched her scratch between her stomach-fat folds and then touch my hand with her hand. Oh and I nearly forgot to mention, there are distinct odors emanating from said fat folds.

I don't want to be rude. Should I start wearing a "Don't touch me fatty" T-shirt? I need advice.

Signed,
Now I hate gelatin

P.S. Once I honest-to-god saw her smuggle a box of saltines into a bar and eat them all. This is not a joke.

It's our anniversary, bitches #3

2006-09-01T15:27:00.000-04:00

Intl_princess speaks out on her past experiences with Roaches. How I loved the roach stories, man that was great. In fact, I'm going to throw in a story from Mcvay too.. What the hell..

intl_princess said...

When I was little, my grandma had roaches. She was really old and didn't have any toys at her house, so my brothers and I made up a game of who can kill the most roaches with the fly swatter. My mom would get mad and tell us to throw them away when she caught us, but who wants to touch dead bugs? So we would count them up and then sweep them under the refrigerator after she left the kitchen.

I really don't think I could sleep comfortably with bugs in my bed... I think I would feel dirty all of the time

mcvay said...

ROACHES
lol
man im not even a get freaked out by bugs person...so when I was a kid roaches didn't bother me...but since ive grown and realize they are in the pig/blow-fly/rat/pigeon/catfish realm of nastiness seein them kinda makes me bitch up...
I remember my grandma had them bad and when u would cut onthe lights at night
like 50 would b all over the floor...so my 7 year old ass started stompin my ass off slayin bout 15 of them...b4 being yelled at by my pops to stop...he was FURIOUS lol...guess he'd rather hav them alive than hav to stoop down and pick up 15 mushed ones...lol

i wonder is this girls landlord going to do anything...like i can take them in the kitchen
but damn
in the bed???

It's our anniversary, bitches #4

2006-08-31T12:30:00.000-04:00

I love Valentine's day and this year was sweeter because everyone really got involved in sharing their thoughts. D.A. dropped science on us... Oh, how I miss his words of wisdom.

D.A. said...: Hmmm ... I don't really have any ideas for a wack Valentine's Day, because I'm a guy. For us, they're ALL bad Valentine's Days. Before you start bitching, let it be known that I'll throw down some flowers and a gift, and I'll even get in the kitchen and whip up a nice meal. I like doing things for ladies. No problem there.

Where the problem comes in is the MENTALITY behind the holiday, or rather what the mentality has become. In my thinking, it should be a holiday in which two people who love each other express said love with small remembrances and some nasty, filthy, depraved sex. That's it. No huge expense, no worries, no ploitics. But here are some examples of what I hear for a month leading up to the Vicious V:
• "If my man brings me some old Hershey's for Valentine's Day, he's NOT sleeping with me that night." Heard this gem on the radio the other day, in a preview for a news spot on good/fancy candy vs. the regular stuff. And by the way, the bitch saying it sounded ugly and country enough that this probably wouldn't be a problem for her man. He's probably on his way to The Dollar Store right now, solely for the purpose of NOT having to sleep with the creature his blushing bride has become.
• "Give her a diamond to show your love this Valentine's Day." W ... T ... F?! No, seriously, WTF?! When in Christ's name did spending too much money on shiny rocks become synonymous with love? Now, not only are we getting stuck with a big engagement-ring bill, we gotta buy one for every fucking holiday some schmuck can come up with? Give me a small break. It's about emotion, folks, not possessions. Unless you consider your woman to BE your possession, in which case you're probably not too worried about what you buy her anyway.
• "If you want to break a grown woman's heart. bring her something from Disney World." Heard this shitball from atsui just a few minutes ago. Ever heard, "It's the thought that counts"? I didn't think so. Look, guys are stupid. Plain and simple, we flatly do NOT know what to get women for gifts. We just don't. We flounder, we flub, we occasionally totally screw up. Forgive us our stupidity as we forgive your complaining about bad gifts.

Oh, and I can't help but notice that the guy posts on here are about screwing up and not getting the "right" thing for some dame, and the lady posts are about how some guy screwed up and didn't get the "right" thing ... or didn't get anything at all ... or is an asshole because he didn't read their mind. (Except for Twiz, that is, who must be a straight-up pimp who has this lady thing knocked. My hat's off to you, my friend.).

In close, let's stop for a minute and think about what this holiday really means to us as people and mates and family and lovers and friends. It means only one thing ... FUCKING. Thank you, and good night.

It's our anniversary, bitches #6-5

2006-08-31T12:02:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure why Kuh lay calls me Crusty, but I love the energy he put into defending this McGriddle sandwich. I actually love this entire string of responses to my faux paux of dissing the almighty McShittle breakfast sandwich. So I'm going share a few. My publicist RSH must be doing some side work, because she is pumping someone elses blog entry in this case, but it was great. And she didn't include the URL so that's what's up.

Kuh lay said...

I like the thought process here..

"I don't really like pancakes so I'm gonna order two small pancakes with cheese and eggs on them!"

Sounds like a good idea, right? Yeah.. no.

Sorry if I seem a little heated but you just attacked one of the tastiest little bundles of calorie laden, artery clogging, gratuitous-advertising-having, deliciousness ever! You had to expect backlash from it's followers.

The 'M' branding (or is it a Dub-Yah... ) is a little much though. I'll give you that. And... I don't really eat them because they make me a little queasy about an hour later. They taste great though, Crusty. Bite your tongue!

RSH said...

okay, so this conversation started and ended forever ago....BUT, i just read this other blog and it was funny.

"HAVE YOU GUYS OUT THERE EVER HAD A McGRIDDLE BEFORE? WELL IF YOU HAVENT BY NOW, I WAS THE FIRST ONE OUT OF ALL MY FRIENDS TO HAVE ONE ABOUT 5 OR 6 YEARS AGO........IT ALL STARTED ONE WEDNESDAY MORNING ON MY WAY TO WORK. I HAD SEEN ALL THE ASDVERTISEMENTS ON TV ABOUT THIS NEW SANDWICH BUT I WAS SET IN STONE ON MY SAUSAGE EGG AND CHEESE McMUFFIN...Mmmmmmm Mmmmmmm. SO WHEN I GOT TO McDONALDS I SAID"FUCK IT" IM GOING TO TRY ONE OF THESE NEW SANDWICHES(I HAD A BUY ONE GET ONE FREE COUPON).... LOL....SO AFTER I DRIVE OFF AND GO THROUGH MY BAG,THERE WAS ACTUALLY 3 SANDWICHES IN THERE...(THIS IS WHERE MY WORLD CHANGED) I OPENED ONE UP AND IT SMELLED SO GOOD,YOU COULD SMELL THE SWEET SYRUP SMELL MIXED IN WITH THE EGGS AND SAUSAGE.....I RAISED THE SANDWICH UP TO MY MOUTH AND TOOK A BITE!!!!!! IT WAS ORGASMIC...IT WAS LIKE I HAD JUST TOOK A BITE OUT OF HEAVEN AND PUT IT IN MY MOUTH...... THE SWEET SENSATION OF SYRUP,EGGS,SAUSAGE,AND MUFFIN WERE FLOATING ON MY TOUNGE....I ALMOST CRASHED INTO THE BACK OF SOMEONE BECAUSE I WASNT PAYING ATTENTION.....(THIS IS AS TRUE OF A STORY AS I CAN GET)...I CALLED BIG GIO AND WAS LIKE"DAWG I JUST ATE THE BEST THING SINCE PUSSY" HE COULD HARDLY UNDERSTAND ME BECAUSE I WAS STILL SUCKING DOWN MY SANDWICH AND HE WAS STILL HALF ASLEEP....HE WAS LIKE "NIGGA,WHY THE HELL YOU CALLING ME 6 IN THE MORNING TALKING ABOUT SOME DAMN SANDWICH" SO HE HUNG UP ON ME!!!!! I WASNT EVEN PISSED BECAUSE I STILL HAD ONE MORE McGRIDDLE TO GO..... I WAS ON A HIGH THAT IVE NEVER BEEN ON BEFORE I WAS TELLING EVERYONE AT WORK ABOUT THE SANDWICH(OF COURSE TURLE WAS TALKING SHIT SAYING"NIGGA STOP EXAGERRATING")...SO THE NEXT MORNING I WAS BACK AT McDONALDS FOR ANOTHER ROUND OF McGRIDDELS THIS TIME I HAD 2 COUPONS FOR BUY ONE GET ONE FREE..... AND AS THE DAY BEFORE THEY WERE SOOOOOOOO DAMN GOOD!!!! AROUND 9:37AM I GOT A PHONE CALL FROM BIG GIO.....I COULD HARDLEY UNDERSTAND HIM, I WAS LIKE NIGGA TALK INTO THE PHONE I CANT UNDERSTAND YOU..HE HAD GOTTEN A MCGRIDDLE AND WAS HAVING THE SAME REACTION I HAD WHEN I HAD MY FIRST!!!!! HE WAS LIKE "STACY YOU WASNT LYING ABOUT THIS SHIT,ITS THE BEST THING IVE EVER TASTED".....SOON THE NEWS ABOUT THE McGRIDDLE WAS SPREADING THROUGH ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS....WE WERE ALL HOOKED!!!!!....... THERE HASNT BEEN A PHENOMENON LIKE THE McGRIDDLE IN A LONG TIME....... I KNOW A BLACK MAN HAD TO INVENT THE MCGRIDDLE BECAUSE WHO ELSE WOULD POUR SYRUP ONTO A BREAKFAST SANDWICH BESIDES US? BIG GIO MAKES THE BEST HOME MADE McGRIDDLES......MY BAD(McGIO"S).....HOPEFULLY ONE DAY SOME OF YOU GUYS OUT THERE MIGHT EXPERIENCE SOMETHING LIKE I DID AT THE TURN OF THE MILLINIA............."McGRIDDLES" Mmmmmmm Mmmmmmmm Goooooood!!!!!!"

Chronomentrophobia

2006-08-28T14:52:00.000-04:00

OutKast has done it again. I miss the old Kast, but I can't be mad at these dudes for taking their game to the next level. Did anyone see Idlewild over the weekend? I did. Wanna hear about it? I will say that the end is sad.. but it's totally predictable, so I'm not ruining shit for you.

Other than that, it was super entertaining. The music is great like the critics say. The story line ain't half bad. Big Boi is very believable in his role as an entertainer, husband, father and womanizer. He's the witness to a murder that makes him the owner of a cabaret style club. Andre is a mortician's son who takes up the family business, but also has a talent for playing the piano and writing music. A lovely lady blows into town to perform at the club, just as everything starts to go down w/ Big Boi taking over. She falls for Dre- not too quickly though. The movie was well paced, I was never bored and it was kinda funny.

At the end Andre 3000 does a musical number as the credits role. It's very "Hey Ya"-esque because he's got the hot feet, dancing around like.. well, like he does. And he's smiling bigger than any rapper's allowed to smile. I was thinking, he must have been just miserable as Dre from OutKast. You know, wearing baseball caps and a fade and jerseys.. Booooring! I just wonder if this happy dancer was inside of him the whole time.. it's kinda funny.

There's this song that rocked pretty damn hard (I have the soundtrack too, so I've listened to it a bit). It's called "Chronomentrophobia".. It's only like 2 mins. long, but they have a scene in the movie where he pops out of bed and starts singing it. I laughed, but then it was hot. I'm impressed that they can make something so lame feel and sound so cool. Andre's character sleeps under like 20 cookoo bird clocks.. it's kinda weird, but I'm sure that's the point.

1: chronomentrophobia: a persistent, abnormal, and unwarranted fear of clocks , despite the understanding by the phobic individual and reassurance by others that there is no danger. 2: chronomentrophobia: a strong fear of, dislike of, or aversion to clocks.

Puh-lease!

2006-08-28T07:44:00.000-04:00

It could be my upbringing, but I seriously doubt it. And I know I have a problem with authority-- nothing documented, just a bubble in the tum when people try to tell me what to do. But I’m honestly having a problem with people asking me to do something and not saying please. And by people, I mean one person in particular, but I think it’s bigger than that person. Here’s why: It’s all about your tone.

Say you’re making dinner and I happen to be in your kitchen. You cut yourself, and say, “Grab a towel!” I’m gonna be like, oh shit, here you go.. are you okay? If your tone is urgent, I can cut you some slack.

If we’re in the kitchen together and we’re both chopping veggies and you say, “Grab that towel!” I’m gonna look at you like, what the hell is wrong with your hands? See, the situation isn’t urgent, there’s time to be polite. Even if you soften it up and don’t use please, “Can you grab that towel for me?” I think please is implied.

In fact, I think questions automatically become commands when people leave the please off. And I’m sure that I have a problem with commands- that’s why I was never cool with the military recruiters in high school. I knew what they wanted; they wanted me to stand around while some jerk told me what to do and called me a maggot and made jokes about my momma. I’ve seen Forrest Gump and 1,000 times. So my point is that there’s ample time for this five-letter word in most situations. I feel that some “people” simply don’t use it because they intend to bark an order. They expect shit to happen when they speak and they know that they forgot the magic word. Now, when you put all of this, just hypothetically, in a work setting… I think it’s just unacceptable. Am I trippin'? Of course, this goes back to the classic work issue of how people handle stress. Or how they use stress as a scapegoat for their rudeness..

Speaking of rude shit that annoys me, can we all take this vow right now? Raise your right hand, please.

I [insert name] do solemnly swear to say “bye,” “peace” or some type of sign off when I’m finished talking on the phone. I understand that this may take up to five additional seconds, but I am willing to sacrifice that time for the greater good of mankind. Furthermore, if I do not have five additional seconds to spare at the end of every conversation, I will wait until I have time to properly address the person I’m contacting.

cookoo for myspace

2006-08-24T12:06:00.000-04:00

So, I've joined the MySpace bandwagon officially. I'm all about it, it seems. I can't believe the hold that it has on me. First of all, there's immense pressure to have a page that looks good and represents me. You need the right music, the right background, a hot photo that isn't too seductive, some glittery shit.. I'm not even sure what all of the rules are yet. But from the looks of it, the more digital junk you can pile on without reducing the load time to an hour, the better. I still haven't seen my one of my friends' page because I never have the patience to wait for it. This is my real friend, not a myspace fake friend, which leads me to the most interesting part of my space, well the second most interesting part -- people who have celebrity friends.

No doubt, I have Little Brother as my friend, but I actually know one of them. And they're not quite A-list anyway (damn shame). You won't catch Pharrell or Jay-Z on my MySpace page, unless I meet them and they say "yo hit me up on myspace." And why the hell would they say that? It's just crazy. People have all these friggin' celebs on their pages, like whateva!

But, it's kinda like crack. I actually heard myself talking about my page on the phone earlier today. Like, discussing how many friends I have (5 with 2 pending..) and that I've added a photo of my cat. How lame!! First, I watch dreadful reality TV shows and try to make sense of them, and now, I speak openly about myspace. Look at me, I'm professing my wackness right now.

Anyway, no matter how lame and late I've arrived to this party, myspace is a problem. I spent far too much valuable time yesterday hooking up my page, talking to friends and reading the pages of my friends, only to click on a link to another friend from high school and start talking to them.. see how this works? And then, when I finally get back to my real life and check my personal email, there are messages from Myspace begging me to return because someone sent me a note. Not to mention the pressure that I'm under to make as many F-in friends as possible.. So as not to seem like bigger loser than I already must be to give a shit in the first place.

I can only promise not to be or have any myspace jumpoffs. That's where I draw the line. But recently a young lady I know was telling me that she was hanging with a myspace friend. In fact, she'd invited me to this hangout, but failed to mention this was a myspace first-time meet and greet. I missed it by accident. And surprisingly, he turned out to be a pretty strange guy in person. The things he did could never come across on the computer or in emails. At least they hung out in a group.

Luda's new 'do

2006-08-22T12:56:00.000-04:00

Breaking news! I just noticed that Ludacris cut his hair off. I think he looks great without it. I love boys with lots of hair, but he looks pretty fresh and clean with this cut. Like, who's that dude?!

When the Levees Broke...

2006-08-21T23:31:00.000-04:00

So, I hope everyone with HBO got to see the first part of Spike Lee's documentary When the Levees Broke. The controversial part came early on when people started saying that they heard an explosion before the levees broke. Some nice people think that Spike is foul for giving these people a platform to share their theory that the levees were bombed. Someone told me this earlier in the day before I watched the documentary and I was like, hmm.. that doesn't sound like something George Bush would have a motive for, other than the fact that he loves to blow shit up. So, I wasn't really buying it. But in the documentary, there's a strong case for this.

First, Spike had several people who lived near the levees on camera saying that they heard a loud boom and a series of explosions. Then they explained that New Orleans or "someone" bombed the levees back in the 20s or 60s to protect the French Quarter and affluent parts of the city from flooding. The fact that the levees were bombed is kinda like an urban myth, right? But lots of people believe it happened that way, which made me more willing to accept the theory that they could have been bombed in 05, for the same reason. It's a provocative look at the hurricane. They also had some great colorful people telling their Katrina stories. One lady explained that the heat during Katrina was hotter than "Africa hot" and she's like, they're always saying "Go back to Africa," hell no! But for real, she doesn't seem like she's ever been to Africa, she couldn't even leave New Orleans when the hurricane was coming. What you know about African heat? Another lady was a white woman telling her story with a deuce deuce in her hand standing in a pile of rubble. At one point she was like, "That ain't this talking [taps on her beer], it's the truth!"

Other than moments like that, I was just somber and disappointed by the way people were allowed to suffer and die after Katrina. Spike showed lots of dead bodies floating in the water and laying in the streets, and the worst part is that you know for every body we saw there were at least two more. I think the documentary did a good job telling the story and backing up people's stories with images.

I think that man who told the story of his mother dying in her wheelchair while waiting on the bus, is the same man who's suing the city of New Orleans and several state agencies for willful misconduct. Oh man gosh, he talked about his mother waiting in the heat and asking him every five minutes if the bus was coming. I got the sense that she couldn't see. And he said that she went about 10 min. without asking and when he went to wake her up she was gone. Then her body sat outside in the heat for four days!

OMG! Did anyone see the people from Gretna trying to say that those people weren't shot at on the bridge and that the people standing there weren't police? Wow. The nerves of some folks.

Part two of this comes on tomorrow and I'll be watching. But let me get this straight: If the President lies about getting head in the oval office, that's an impeachable act. If the President leaves thousands of Americans stranded and dying, then lies about his knowledge of how serious the situation was.. that's OK, right?

In closing: George Bush does not care about black people. -Kanye West

It's our Anniversary, bitches #7

2006-08-21T22:41:00.000-04:00

Propa_ganda was on point with this post on 9/01/05

propa_ganda said...
The situation down in N.O. is dire. This is why you don’t go willy-nilly waging a senseless war, spending BILLIONS of dollars, and using (and losing) man-power unless it’s ABSOLUTELY necessary. Now we are in desperate need of serious $$$$ to help these people out. What is taking so long to deploy the national guard? They have to restore some form of order in the area. It is very dangerous. But what do you expect? Its hot as fire down there and things are not getting any better. I know tempers are boiling over as the situation gets more and more desperate with no sign of any help. It’s THURSDAY already for crying out loud!!!!! I can’t help but be concerned that most of the people left in that area are black and brown and I don’t have too much confidence in the response time when it comes to people of that persuasion. Get the national guard in there to restore order and so they can continue with rescue missions!!!!

It's our Anniversary, bitches #8

2006-08-18T10:46:00.000-04:00

The month is almost over so, we got to get cracking on these... Here's No. 8, which I love because of the wonderful idea that Red State Hostage had at the end...

so i was finally able to see what all the buzz was about last night. straight MESS! i'm sure that Spike Lee is just taking notes, for the sequel to "Bamboozled".

Atsui...I'm glad you brought it up, because I was about to. Crenshaw really did pray to God that she wouldn't have to hit that "bitch ass" again. It wasn't just like a, "Lord please" either. She was on her knees, hands clasped and eyes shut cussing all throughout the prayer. She even told the girl to let her finish so he could REBUKE THE SPIRITS telling her to beat her bitch ass again.

And Sumthin'...oh lawd. When they called her out for shitting on the herself, did she really say "it could happen to any one of us". And Flav really broke it down for us in slow-mo.

LOVE IT...though i wish a password was required for viewing. We can't let all the races see how fucked up these particular black people are. you know some people still only know the blacks they see on tv.

This may not seem fair and it's probably pretty racist, but I feel like some shows could really use a password for viewing. We could also use it to keep kids from watching naughty stuff.. like "Flavor of Love."

Generation Broke

2006-08-16T17:46:00.001-04:00

So I recently read an article about this book called Strapped: Why America’s 20- and 30-Somethings Can’t Get Ahead. The author called our generation broke and I couldn’t agree more. All the time I’m like, wow I’m broke. And honestly, it makes me appreciate the little things in life. Like, this food from the grocery store is just as delicious as a $20 entrée from a restaurant, so what it took me three hours to prepare! If the restaurant was popular I may have had a 2 hour wait... so there!

Anyway, back to this article. The author of the book is basically pointing out that we come from a generation that’s highly educated, drowning in debt, working super long hours and making less than ever. In fact, in my opinion, the longer I work the less I make for my time. Coupled with our measly starting salaries, there’s the increase in the cost of EVERYTHING like real estate, gas, college tuition… (They say the average college grad has $20,000 in debt after graduation, while grad of color and from low-income backgrounds owe even more!) Man, I even think that Snickers bars cost more. Those bitches used to be like 3 for $1. Now, CVS is selling them for like $.70. Why do 10 year old DVDs cost the same as New Releases when you rent them? What sense does that make? We all know that DVDs are cheap as dirt to produce... I can own the bootleg for a dollar more! Man, I’m finding it hard to stay focused.. [Before I go on though, I have to point out that a sister wrote a book called The Broke Diaries before this and it's more comical. This is an excerpt.]

So, this lady has this new book that our parents, and anyone who thinks you should be doing better, should read. It basically says, hey! Get off of their backs, they’re broke because society made them that way. She’s saying something that I noticed back in 2002, we’re a generation that was fed the belief that if you work hard and play by the rules you’ll get ahead. Lies! All lies! Man, we had to make super duper grades just to be considered by the top schools. Then you need a clean record, social activities, yadda yadda. So you’re at school until like 8 being super student/athlete/president and coming home doing homework, or hustling your ass home from Wendy’s at like midnight to do homework…only to get to college and find out that the richest minorities in America got all the “merit” based scholarships. I think you got extra “merit points” for every academic degree your parent holds, at my alma mater.
And guess what folks? If a middle class college student can’t graduate and surpass his or her parent’s financial status, how much potential does the lower class college student have? You can’t call mom and dad for a loan cause they ain’t got shit. You still owe lenders AND your “real world” job that you busted ass for 16 years to get is barely helping you break even. The book’s author is saying that breaking into the middle class is harder than ever. The rich are getting richer and everyone else is stuck. This just has me fuming. I say all the time that if I knew then what I know now, I would have taken out even more loans and bought the most expensive degree they offered me. The more prestigious your school, the better your job- end of discussion.

This book is also saying that the richest people in the U.S. are spending major figures on essay “consultants” [read: writers], “tutors” (the kind that do your homework while you get high) and test prep services. So, you're not even competing against kids your age when you come out of high school and aim at the nation's top colleges. You're actually competing against their parents and broke college grads-turned tutors.

There are quite a few people making major moves in their 20s-30s, but I really think that your perception of how many people are doing it depends on who you roll with. Back where I’m from, 20 and 30-somethings have a “good job” if they have benefits and make close to $30,000 annually. Anything over that makes you a baller. I think there seems to be more young successful people because those few who are making it are concentrated in specific sections of the nation.

Unfortunately I haven’t finished this article or read the book, so I have no idea what the solution is. But I have heard that the author is planning to speak to members of Congress and influential types to make them aware of the problem.. Good luck w/ that. Ever heard of global warming? These people aren’t about problem solving unless it’s a problem of who’s paying for their next vacation.

I only have a couple quick solutions…when interest rates go up, how about making student loans exempt? Or how about giving us all low fixed rates to start with? It’s bad enough I gotta pay for undergrad until my kids (who I haven’t even conceived yet) start college, how about cutting me some slack on interest?

Healthcare: Kids and old people get government assistance, how about a little program for post-grads who bust ass all day and have no insurance or shitty insurance? Not dropouts (Sorry dropouts, get your own blog).

If I think of more I’ll be back.. feel free to add your own ideas to my list..

It's our Anniversary, bitches #9

2006-08-15T22:01:00.000-04:00

In case you're just catching up, it's the one-year anniversary of MBT. I had this stellar idea of posting my favorite comments. Not easy.. and I don't have a number one in mind. Which means this may lead up to a comment that isn't funny or interesting or worth reading again. But oh well! Here's #9...

Ritchie Rich on the post "Kanye Cries for White Girl".. Kanye was mad (shocking, I know) that Canadian radio stations edit out the words White Girl in "Gold Digger" and leave the word "ass"...

Ritchie Rich said...

Did you know that 35 per cent of all music aired each week on all Canadian radio stations must be "Canadian content?"

What self promoting jerks!

To be considered Canadian content a song must fall within four categories. These catagories have the acronym M.A.P.L. (Like maple syrup, GET IT? They love pancakes up there [and beer.]) M.A.P.L. stands for:
M (music) - the music is composed entirely by a Canadian.
A (artist) - the music and/or the lyrics are performed principally by a Canadian.
P (production) - live performance that is performed wholly in Canada and broadcast live in Canada.
L (lyrics) - the lyrics are written entirely by a Canadian.

Jesus, that was boring.

Anyway, my point is, fuck. I forgot my point. Oh well, new point: Canadians sure are funny.

Also, Strange Brew is a quality movie.

Going to cop this album today!

2006-08-11T12:38:00.000-04:00

I like New York, but I hate New Yorkers that think it's the center of the universe. Especially when it comes to hip-hop. Man, if I hear another person talk about hip hop being dead, simply because New York has fallen off I'm going to slap them with a slice of that dry-ass, thin NYC pizza. I spoke with Heavy D recently and asked him if hip-hop was dead. He was like, what do you think? I told him that it's changed and evolved (we may not all like where it went) but it isn't dead. And I made it clear that I think many people feel that it's dead because Southern rappers rule the airwaves and they're so different from the pioneers. Oh, before I forget, he thinks it's near death, no surprise. But he thinks it can be revived. He also told me that I only think it isn't dead because I'm under 30. So, if that's the case then the generation that started hip hop is just too damn old to appreciate it any more. Right? Sorry... By the way I totally respect Heavy D and would never slap him with a slice of dry-ass NYC pizza. It's all love.

Anyways, hip-hop lives, similar to the church of baby Jesus, in our hearts. (Which is why I sleep in on Sundays, but that's another post.) As long as hip hop fans are alive, so lives hip-hop.. As Mos Def once said, hip-hop isn't some giant sleeping in the hill top. And with that, I present proof that not only does it live, it lives below the Mason Dixon line. Lil Wayne's freestyle on Rap City has to please even the oldest hip-hop head.

It's our anniversary, bitches!

2006-08-11T08:59:00.000-04:00

It's been a good 12 months and thanks to all who read my rants and random thoughts. I'd like to give special thanks to Dubya Bush, Dave Chappelle, the crazy reality shows like "Black & White," "Being Bobby Brown" (Eagerly awaiting season 2), "Flavor of Love" (hooray for season 2!) and a special thanks to the real people who put their lives on TV knowing that people will be cursing their names. Lastly, a shout out to my special ex-supervisor who inspired the title of my blog.

The only way I can think to celebrate this milestone digitally is to post some of my favorite comments from the past year. I can't possibly rank them, so I'm just going to do a random list. If your favorite comment is missing please post it in the comment section..

Yeah so, I was going to do a top 10 list of my favorite comments from the blog over the year, but it took far too long for me to search through all of the posts. So, here's one and I'll post 10 before the month is up.

10. D.A. on the Which "Sex and the City" chick are you? Quiz

Wake up, women! Here's the shot: "Sex and the City" is evidently a good show. (I think it sucks, but I'm straight, so I guess that stands to reason.) But the thing is that it's written in a way that makes people feel like they identify with the characters. That's what good TV shows and movies do. They make you feel like YOU could be called Ishmael, like YOU could fight vampires, like YOU could be friends with Ice Cube. That's the whole point.
But if I have to hear one more 300-pound high school dropout with three filthy kids in tow telling her friend how "those girls on that show are just like me and my friends," I'm gonna fucking kill somebody. Those ladies are NOT like you and your friends. They spend thousands of dollars on shoes. They have carefree and illicit sexual encounters with numerous men. They seldom work, and they live in NY apartments that'd run about $50,000 a month. (And by the way, no journalist has ever made that kind of dough. Even the top guys in the biz make their money on novels and freelance.)
In fact, they're probably the farthest from you and your friends that one could get while still being a human female. Stop living the lie that HBO has fed you! They're just characters, and they're designed specifically to have "universal appeal," meaning that you feel like they're like you and your friends. And in truth, this really ain't that hard with characters that two-dimensional. "Look, she likes shoes, too! She's just like me!" or "She's kind of prudish! My friend Stacey won't have sex with a lot of guys!" or "Damn! She's a ho! My girl Maggie is like that!" It's called "stereotyping," people. Look it up

'Flava of Love' returns- Cue the chorus

2006-08-07T00:44:00.000-04:00

Wow, tell me you saw "Flava of Love" on VH1 Sunday night. Whooo hooo! Now that's what I call a season opener. One girl didn't even make to eliminations because she was sent home for opening a can of whoopass on another contestant early in the show. It was pretty vicious and it all started over a bed. A bed that was identical to all of the others, just in a different location. It actually wasn't a fight at all because "H-Town" was just trying to get away. Then H-Town was not invited to continue on because Flav felt she needed to see a doctor after the ghetto girl from Crenshaw put her in a headlock with her legs and beat H-Town in the head, after she threw the poor thing against a wall! I kinda think that the show's producers picked a few nice girls for the wild girls to abuse.

There was plenty of drama after the first fight though. Yadda, yadda, yadda lesbians, blah blah, extra drunk chick, whatever. The best part of the show came at the end after eliminations when the unbelievable happened... One young lady shit on the floor like an untrained dog! Actually she pooped on the steps while she was running to the bathroom and didn't even make an attempt to clean it up before others got to see it! They all smelled it.. And when Flave knocked on the bathroom door, she was like- I had to go! Earlier in the episode she argued with another annoying girl named Spunkee for calling her out as a lesbian in front of Flava. She really lost her mind in that argument (screaming at the top of her lungs and having made up conversations), then she shit herself and guess what? She gets to stay another week. Did they just make reality show history? I'm not sure I've seen anything more embarrassing on TV.

For the record: If you throw the first punch in the mansion- you go home. If you shit on the floor -you can hang around another week.

Next chick who should get beat down or sent home: Spunkee
Strangest thing I heard: "When you're speaking in tongue, you're confirmed that you're going to Heaven..."

My big fat abnoxious weekend in South Beach

2006-08-02T18:52:00.000-04:00

Don't you hate it when you plan a great vacation and anticipate it everyday only to have someone or something ruin your perfect getaway?

This has happened to me more than once. The time that the hurricane followed me and my best friends to Jamaica has to be the worst. But the one thing I learned from that trip was that my girls are amazing women who can still smile and laugh through any situation. We didn't have running water or electricity for days and we still came home with jokes. So, I mention that because I recently planned a lovely weekend at this expensive hotel pictured above in South Beach. I just came back from this vacation that was supposed to be so wonderful, but was basically ruined. There wasn't a storm, my luggage wasn't lost, I didn't get robbed- well, kinda. This one young lady tried to steal my joy with her bad attitude. More importantly, I am out of more money than I should be because she was very inconsiderate and refused to do anything that anyone else wanted to do or could afford to do. If she did, she was grumpy about it which is hard for normal people who care about others' feelings to deal with. Let's call her Snobonika (Snob-o-ni-kah). Got that?

Examples of how one snob pissed on my South Beach weekend:

You wouldn't be hungry if you didn't have that budget:

We're at a restaurant that's crazy expensive, meaning you've gotta be crazy to pay what they were asking for that food. Three out of the five people at the table can't afford to waste money on the meal and say so. Snobonika orders food and asks the broke people to please have a drink while she gets full on overpriced food, which by the way she's not going to share. The broke people can't really afford the drinks either so they drink water..

Rich people have special digestive systems

One not rich person asks Snobonika to check into affordable restaurants for the next night's dinner because everyone wants to eat seafood, but they don't want to over pay. Snobonica refuses to check into affordable restaurants then approaches one not rich person to say "I'm worried about where you guys want to eat tonight because I can't eat cheap seafood, I'll get sick." I bet you didn't know this, but apparently people who live life on a budget have special coatings in their stomachs that allow them to digest garbage, kind of like goats. Consider it God's gift to the people he didn't bless with trust funds. Now that I know this, I've started eating random items that I find in my desk for lunch. Today I had a ketchup packet (without opening it), paper clips and an old eraser topped with crushed red peppers that I didn't finish the last time I had pizza. Fuck Subway, on this budget, I'll be eating filet mignon in no time!

My pancake brings all the boys to the yard

Snobonika has to be the center of attention at all times. If she isn't, it's probably someone else's fault. Apparently having money makes you irresistibly sexy, but sometimes poorer women can steal your shine so you have to take matters into your own hands. If Snobonika sees a friend dancing with a boy and having fun, she'll pretend to be her lesbian lover and "save" her from the guy. Where I'm from we call this cock-blocking, not a good look, plus some foxy guy nearby may think you're really a lesbian. Or worse, one of those dumb bitches that dances closely with girls in the club just to get attention. Eeeew.

Are you with them?

The room we stayed in was booked for two people, but we always had four girls staying there. We add one more girl because she's far too cool not to have around, plus she lived nearby. Snobonica nearly had a panic attack once she got to the hotel and felt like we may be arrested if the hotel found out we had more than two people in the room. Beyond that she determined that she wasn't one of the extra people in the room, but one of the two who belonged. She added her name to the room (she didn't book it) just to be on the safe side. As if that wasn't enough security, she constantly reprimanded the not rich girls who didn't belong for dealing with hotel staff and refused to be seen with them by the pool or at the beach. It was actually a blessing, but her paranoia wore off on everyone. We'd all get stiff like roaches if housekeeping knocked on the door, ordering extra towels made her nervous, and I even found myself discussing the fact that I answered a question about the room when the doorman addressed us as a group. The funny thing is that I grew up lying to hotels about how many people stay in the room. My mom ingrained that into our whole family, as most working class moms did. Even today I also say there are two guests in my room no matter who's coming.

Are you comfortable?

Oh and Snobonika was constantly asking when the fifth girl was leaving. Not only is that rude, but since girl five is my girl, being rude could get you cut. She was sharing a bed with me and my girl, not Snobonika and her girl. But Snob kept asking her if she was comfortable.. Um, all three of us are a little less comfy than we would be..duh! So when we suggested that maybe we should leave and get a new room at another hotel for the cool kids, Snobonika was like -that's fine. (Poke in eyeballs, uppercut, uppercut...) Maybe now is a good time to tell you that this whole trip was Snobonika's idea, she lives in another country and wanted us to come together. But she was willing to send two of her girls away because they had another friend?

I could go on and on the full has never been told ~ Buju Banton "Untold Stories"

This list could go on, I'm not even mentioning the self-esteem issues (any time she's corrected you're making her feel stupid). Or the fact that she bragged about how much money she had on her in cash (she can't take her cash home because the currency is stronger back home), but never offered to pay for the $5 cab. Ooops, I just mentioned it.

Now, I'd like to wax poetic about the significance of money among friends, family and lovers. Money is not the root of all evil, but the love of money is. This snobby girl has always had lots of money, it wasn't until recently that she decided her money was more important than anything else. In her mind, this money has weakened her survival skills. She can't eat cheap food or she'll get sick. (Bitch, you used to eat at cheap Mexican restaurants all the time!) If she doesn't stay in the most expensive hotels she may come in contact with some airborne disease that middle class and low-class people are immune to. (I remember sharing a room in a apartment/hotel with this chick in the Dominican Republic. It was so cheap that people could live there for weeks, and we were the only hotel guests at the whole damn place!) If she doesn't point out that she's rich, she may lose her value all together. (When no one knew you were rich, they loved you! Now, your a slave to a page in my blog.) It's just ridiculous but the poor thing has fallen in love with her money and completely lost her mind.

I know some other folks who love their money more than they can ever love another human and in turn many people hate them. Falling in love with your money seems to be a slippery slope kinda like alcoholism. It starts with excessive shopping, then you start sleeping in brand new clothes with the tags on and using shoe boxes for pillows... Eventually, I hear that some of them actually masturbate to their online bank accounts instead of good old fashioned porn sites.

If you see this happening to yourself, get help before it's too late.

Dave Who?

2006-07-26T00:15:00.000-04:00

So, I nearly forgot to mention the Dave Chappelle show's "Lost Episodes"... How could that be? Is it possible that Dave buried these episodes because they were so stupid that he didn't want anyone to see them?

I'm not saying that the lost episodes suck. But I could say that and stand by my statement with ease. Whether you chuckled a few times or only hunched your shoulders, these episodes are not a good look for Dave. Now that I see them, I don't blame him for not returning. Most of these skits would be better in the deleted scenes section of the third season DVD. Since I'm on my way to a lovely getaway, I'm just gonna open the floor for people to share their disappointment in Chappelle's lost episodes. Or maybe you're not disappointed. I honestly haven't seen everything yet, but I heard that the DVD of the lost episodes hit stores today. So, wait. Let me get this straight, the shit I saw on TV so far is the best of the lost episodes? That is supposed to leave me wanting more?

The funniest sketch I've seen is the MTV Cribs one and there was one on the first episode that I liked. The whole sketch about going Hollywood was pretty funny. Oh, when he was getting revenge on people from his past. That was pretty funny to me.

Method Man blasts Wendy Williams' raggedy ass

2006-07-18T13:16:00.000-04:00

WHOOOOO!!! Yeah, what he said.. And you look like a drag queen! I'm loving Meth more than ever right now. Not because of this video. He was disrespectful to Wendy but she deserved it. I listened to a long interview with Meth and he talked about the industry- not much on his wife, but he mentioned she was sick. He talked about the fact that he was just greatful that Def Jam let him put out another album. He really came across as a humble dude. He also sounded like he had hit a rough moment when his wife was sick and that he reached out to people that he used to give to and no one was there to give back. I don't know, but it sounds like Meth's been through a lot. It also sounds like he's there for his wife- despite any mess he undoubtedly has put her through up to this point.

A blogger on XXL mentioned that she heard a Meth interview and he sounded like hip hop had broken his heart. Yo, we must have heard the same interview because he sounded just like that. Sad. He was pissed at the media, "editors" "music critics" or whatever, for dissing his last album and talking bad about him in general. He was like, maybe while they think I've gone Hollywood or fallen off, I've been taking my wife to chemo. He was also saying that writers need to be prepared to face consequences for the bad things that they say in writing. Hold up now, Meth (with your sexy ass)! If you don't want chickenheads beating you up in the street for the shit you talk in the recording booth, I need you to fall back on coming after writers who diss you. The point is that music writers are the biggest fans. Yes, many are too judgemental but that's their job. It's to entertain readers and criticize music.

He felt that kids take reviews in magazines so seriously that they don't go out and get the album if XXL or Vibe or someone disses it. But that's bullshit. We'll cop the bootleg if it gets a bad review.. duh! So, I don't know...Other than that though, I understand what my baby is saying. He's just really reading these so-called hip-hop mags and taking their comments to heart. He said something like, if I listened to those critics I would think that my career was over. But he said that when he hits the streets and meets fans, they're saying something totally different. Meth definitely comes across as someone who's pondering life and sizing up his music career.

OH! He talked about one journalist like he better not see him in the street. He basically called the Meth and Red show a minstrel show. Meth agreed that they show was nothing like what they expected. He talked about crazy episode titles and said that he was actually offended by the garbage they wanted them to do. So, he knew it was wack but felt like the writer didn't have to take it to the extreme with the name calling. Wish I could remember what he called them.

Aight.. later

Bush's "shit" makes a stink...

2006-07-18T07:51:00.000-04:00

One of the most powerful men in the world said "shit" while talking to his best buddy and the international media giggled like schoolkids reporting it over and over and over and over and over and over again.. Big deal. The bigger deal is that Bush thinks a phone call to Syria will clear this shit right on up. Then Syria's leader will call the "evil doers" and say, "Cut it out, Ahmed! Enough already. The Isrealis are getting upset."

If shit's that easy why doesn't Bush pick up the phone and holla at one of his handpicked leaders in Iraq. Maybe we could save some American lives. Why doesn't Bush pick up the phone and ask Isreal to ease up so that we can get Labanese civilians out of the way? I love how I said "we" like I'm part of some peace keeping mission or the military even.

What's funny about this is how ABC news reported EVERYTHING they heard. Like, "the president told the waiter he wanted a Diet Coke.
In related news, I'm worried about Charlie Gibson. The old dude who just left Good Morning America for World News Tonight or something. Now they have him in Beirut... I'd like for him to be safe at a desk. He's proven that he can get the job done- why go back into harms way? I know he had to wake up early and all, but I'd rather eat Emerald's crabcakes and fancy burgers than report from a war zone. Dude's way old to be dodging debris.

What I really need to know is when gas prices are going back down. And don't try to turn this Lebanon shit into an issue that's effecting the price at the pump. I'll walk down to the Capitol and get arrested immediately.. but I'll have the intent to really make a fuss. I'll write on trees.. put cat poop on the lawn. I'll bring a whole bus load of bums and drop them off at the exit when sentors come out so that they can bug them for change and shit. I keep it gangster!

Is the Earth on fire?

2006-07-17T17:30:00.000-04:00

Why does it feel like the core of the Earth outside? I feel like someone's holding a magnifying glass over my head when I'm in the sun. I tried to go shopping yesterday at an outdoor flea market - I nearly melted.

Also, I think this heat is driving people crazy. On Friday night a cab driver tried to molester me! I made the mistake of sitting in the front seat and after I paid my money, he pulled me to him and kissed me on my cheek. [Hold up...Okay, I'm back. I thought I was going to throw up.] Man, his lips were on me! And his mouth wasn't closed either.. [uh oh, there goes my lunch.] Enough about that. I think the moral of the story is always ride in the backseat of a cab. I was in the front because two drunk boys were in the back and they would have surely molested me back there. They even demanded that I come to the backseat at one point. Then one apologized as he was leaving the cab, saying that he's sorry he didn't get to make out with me. EEEEWWW!!! So, clearly this heat is turning people's brains into mush. When you add alcohol it seems to liquify the mush.

More serious than drunken Georgetown boys and creepy cab drivers that should be deported, the heat has driven Israeli leaders mad. They started bombing and destroying Lebanon because two of their soldiers are being held hostage by a militia group that isn't even controlled by the goverment. Now, I don't want to be mean, but is it really that serious? Someone send them back their troops (in one piece) before they drop the A-bomb. When our troops get decapitated and burned and kidnapped, the U.S. military barely calls their family members. I'd say the heat has made them more irritable and trigger happy than usual.

DMX and his troubled soul

2006-07-13T09:00:00.000-04:00

Um, so I'm watching DMX's new reality show. Wow.. I KNEW he was crazy, maybe a bit bipolar. But someone please explain what he was doing in that convenience store. Was he or was he not doing the crackhead shuffle? I think he was. Then he broke eggs and beat them, who does that? He bought a whole basket of Bazooka gum, took the basket. Then he flaked and left Swizz Beatz waiting in the studio, with several others who were not making Swizz money for their time.

He's preparing to go back to jail for 40 days over a traffic violation. That's some bullshit. They showed various sides of X. He's a loving father, although unpredictable. He has this father/son relationship with a neighbor in Arizona. The neighbor is an older white man who plays the father role and tries to talk sense into X and seems to genuinely be concerned about dude. Oh, and X prays a lot. He and wifey are a spiritual duo. Also, X showed extreme patience when two young girls on horses said he sounds like Ja Rule. They were great, but the editing was bad.

On next week's episode X comes out of jail. That should be great.

Before DMX, BET debuted Keyshia Cole's reality show. I'd say that was a better but not by much. Honestly, I don't know if I'll watch DMX again, but I'd probably watch Keyshia Cole. She seems a little unpredictable. X just seems crazy. Begging people to let him drive when the whole world knows he's really bad at driving. Anyway, Keyshia's show was solid. This episode was all about showing where she's from. The best part was when she went into a local radio station and tried to answer rumors that a female radio personality was spreading. Then she said that if her family runs into said personality in the street she can't help her. DMX didn't really threaten anyone, except for midgets. He promised that he'd fuck any midget up. Or anyone of any size actually.

They were Black

2006-07-12T08:34:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately they weren't militant or toasty.. A DC police commander was reassigned this week after he gave a speech to Georgetown residents about a recent murder. The DC police have declared a crime emergency in the district because there have been 13 homicides this year and robberies are up.. here's what dude said to the residents that made his boss react:

"I would think that at 2 o'clock in the morning on the streets of Georgetown, a group of three people, one of whom is 15 years old, one of whom is a bald chunky fat guy, are going to stand out," said Solberg, who is white. "They were black. This is not a racial thing to say that black people are unusual in Georgetown. This is a fact of life."

So we don't want to take this out of context, the Washington Post says that when he made these remarks that he was telling the residents of the area to report suspicious looking people.. then described them as fat, 15 years old and black.. hmmm

Want to know what I think? He's right black folks don't hang in Georgetown in large numbers. I go there and don't appreciate being labeled as the type who would slice someone's throat for virtually no reason, like these three people have been accused of doing. Maybe I'll shop in Pentagon City until this is over.. besides people are dying in Georgetown.

Sick-ass dudes

2006-07-11T17:52:00.000-04:00

I read this article yesterday and it just really bothered me.

In a nutshell these college football players have been charged with raping an 11-year-old girl. She's a kinda troubled girl it seems, because she ran away from her group home to visit an acquaintance on a Saturday night. Running away is bad and group home connotes "troubled." It seems that this acquaintance introduced her to these other guys who live in the complex. There are two guys, ages 20 and 19, who have already been arrested, but seven more have come forward. They seven are all teammates at Fresno College and say that the girl is tall and looked "mature," but she did seem young when she talked. Now, I know kids grow up fast. I know girls aren't what they used to be. But I also happen to know some 11-year-old kids. At best, I think this 11-yr-old could have appeared to be 15 or 16. They told police that she appeared to be 18 or 19! She lives in a group home. I'm no expert, but these group home kids aren't at the mall buying Mac makeup and rocking the hottest clothes. I imagine you can get right with Wet & Wild products from CVS, but come on! They can't even front like they thought she was legal. You can't just have sex with children- unless you're U.S. military serving in Iraq (or another developing nation). And even then, there's a chance you'll get caught and have to face some consequences.

What's wrong with your people?