Testing for the Down Low
OK, all this talk of men living on the down low has crept into my daily convos with friends & fam. It went something like this:
Convo 1:
Girl 1: There's no way to know if a man's on the down low, he has to tell you
Girl 2: Oh, I always do the finger test on my man
Girl 3: [laughs..] I know that's right.
Girl 1: What's the finger test?
Girl 2: You know, I put a finger in his butt when we're having sex to see if he likes it. And if he likes it too much I think he might be gay
Girl 1: oooh....
Girl 3: Yeah, but that's not a fair test. That's why guys pretend like they don't like the finger because they don't want us to think they're gay.
Girl 1: Yeah, they may just like that. [and not be gay]
Girl 3: These guys can't win for losing.
all: [laughs...]
Covo 2:
Girl 1: I think I'd know he was gay if he came home and wanted anal sex all of a sudden..
Girl 2: Not unless he's smacking it and calling you Twan. There's nothing strange about that.
Girl 1: Well. I think I would know.
Girl 2: The best thing to do is just ask.
Girl 3: My friend asked a guy she was dating if he was gay and he never called her again
Girl 1: Why?
Girl 3: Because he was gay!
Girl 2: Maybe he was offended?
Girl 3: She was on to him, so he stopped dating her..
Girl 1: Well, it's not like he's going to say yes.
Girl 2: Wouldn't you be offended?
Girl 1&3: No! I'd just say, "No."
Girl 2: Yeah right....I'd be offended.
Here's what I think. You can't test for the brother on the down low. You can't ask him and expect him to tell the truth. I think you can observe his friends and keep an eye out for flaming homeboys. That would be a sign for me. And then there are the phone taps, following him and searching his place. But if you reach that level of curiosity you should just dump him. I think that straight men should be able to enjoy an occasional hetrosexual bottom play without being labeled gay. Under this theory, you'd be gay for enjoying head- homosexuals do that, right? Sex is what it is, you're not gay until you enjoy it with someone of the same gender. Just my 2 cents.
posted by Atsui_Gal @ 10:56 AM
2 Comments:
About convo #2... if he was gay, then he shouldn't be calling her back. I think he was polite by excusing himself of the relationship. Personally, I wouldn't want to date a guy who was gay... by the time you get to try out the finger test, isn't it too late anyway. He's already hit it and put you at risk. Anal isn't a sign either... one of my guy friends says he hates it, but girls ask him for it, so he'll do it.
Pansexual... I've never heard that one before, but I believe it. Brothers really aren't that picky... unfortunately.
d.a. is right. Gay guys don't date women or sleep with them, bisexual guys do. But that's a convenient term that means gay.
There are too many dudes who have wives and girlfriends and are still gay. I think that's when you have to try to figure them out. That's where the danger is, dating and casual sex is deadly no matter who your partner sleeps with.
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