Militant Black Toast

By Any Means Necessary

Monday, August 15, 2005

Cubicle Confessions



You know, sometimes, like, our people, just get on your nerves. So I'm at this new job, this small little consulting firm. Now from my first meeting I was informed that there's a lot of work and people routinely stay late. Being as though I wasn'’t working and I'm waiting on my interviews to get back w/ the Feds, of course this is no problem, you know gimme that check ho and you can work me all you want. Right, so anyway I get up in there and sure there ARE a lot of things to get done. Plus quite a few of the people are working on another project (since it IS a federal contractor). Right. So my first week, I wind up stayin' late two days, you know cuz I'm figuring I'ma go hard for the team. In the midst of the first week, I happen to notice quite the little trends.…
Ok, now being as though I was raised by two women, I consider myself perhaps one of the least sexist persons on this orb we call Earth. I think a woman can do damn-near anything a man can save a few anatomically impossible things and perhaps some physical things based solely on the good Creator's gene/protein distribution blueprints. As in most instances when dealing with anything health or public-health related, my office is 80% female. I'll also add that it is 90% minority. Right. Anyway, people are straight. Everyone gets along, no egos.

BUT, I would estimate a SOLID 2 hours are spent discussing HOW MUCH WORK they have to do. Dawg...I SWEAR... There would be approximately four less days a month of staying late should these Mo Fo's SHUT THE FUCK UP, and DO ALL THE SHIT YOU'RE COMPLAINING YOU HAVE TO DO! All of this and I've gone from my comfy office to a cubicle where I get to hear combinations of pregnancy tales, boyfriend stories and whispers about Lord knows what else. While I do admit it can be at times very amusing.

By Twiz

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

There really should be a handbook of cubicle etiquette issued by your local HR department. If your walls don't extend to the ceiling, please realize that you don't have privacy!!! I can not stress that enough.

Oh, the things I hear, and later pretend I don't. It takes a lot of effort for me to have to remember if what information I'm supposed to know about your personal life, and what I just heard because I don't have the ability to turn my ears off. The constant playing of annoying cell phone ring tones, that I find myself inadvertently humming later in the day. The daily stench of tuna around 3:00pm, when my neighbor decides to scoop it right out of the can and slurp the nasty juice it soaks in. All I can do about that one is wonder if she's slurping water or oil, and think how much nastier it would be if it is oil.

A month or so ago, I heard what sounded like chirping. Sure enough, the tuna slurper had brought her bird to work. Which was odd enough, but she was moving and forgot to make arrangements for it. I understood taht she couldn't leave it in the hot car because it would surely die, but she didn't have to take it out of the cage. Next thing I knew it was walking around her desk, and flying into the aisle. Ahh...the life of a cubicle dweller.

8/16/2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A bird in the office! That's crazy. I once worked in a cube farm and my biggest problem was a lady who refused to use her indoor voice when she spoke on the phone. I found myself whispering b/c of the lack of privacy, but she behaved like she grew up in a cube farm. Loud gossiping, etc.

The other interesting thing about this office was that we could smoke. Not me, but many folks did and they would use these little machines to catch the smoke, they worked for the most part. It was just really odd.

I miss that place.

8/16/2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cube Farm... that's rich.

Smoking in the office, now that's new. It is NC though. Coming from NY, the strangest thing for me was my first trip to Hanes Mall. NY had already banned smoking in public buildings for years. Then I go to Nc, and people are smoking in the pharmacy, dropping ashes all over the floor. They were smoking in the mall and stinking up the clothes before I could buy them. Just different!

8/17/2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Having worked in a place where people just have space, without assigned seats and no walls, I value cubicles and what little privacy they offer. I just wish that if an organization decides to go cheap and install cubes, they would remove the speaker phone option. Why is there always that person who insists on trying to impress people by checking their voicemail aloud??

8/17/2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love speakerphone, especially when you're on hold with a utility company or something. It frees up your hands to apply lip gloss or type an e-mail. But it's rude in a cubicle setting..Maybe speaker phone users should invest in headsets??

8/18/2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't open if you're black

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8695424@N04/530506239/

http://hotaspho.com/2007/02/26/kenneth-eng-hates-blacks-and-so-do-you-apparently/

6/04/2007  

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