Militant Black Toast

By Any Means Necessary

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Tales from the Bible Belt


I play tennis. It is fun. I can hit the ball hard. Sometimes I hit the ball softly so that I can win. Anyway, I play in a league on Monday nights and tonight there were about eight or ten of us playing. Near the end of my match, which I lost BTW, I saw a few of the other ladies waving their hands around and complaining to the water guy (I'm sure he has a more official title, but he basically tells us who to play and provides water and balls). Let's call him the tennis coordinator, that's a multipurpose title. So I couldn't wait to find out what all the fuss was about. I heard him say that he'll take a certain "lady" aside and talk to her before we play next week.

Once we finished playing, my partner and I asked the other ladies what was going on. They told us that the lady playing on the court next to ours was (gasp) cursing! Now, I played next to her and didn't hear anything, but the ladies on the other side of her say they heard her. Miss Potty Mouth doesn't seem to be a pleasant person in general, and I don't think that our tennis games are serious enough to warrant cursing, but do I curse? Of course! I curse when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm impressed, when I make mistakes, when I do something really wonderful... you get the point. There's a profane word for most occasions. But a few ladies in the league were completely offended by this other woman's profanity, so offended that they reported her to the tennis ball/water coordinator dude.

One lady explained to me that she and the others are Christians, which seems to mean that everyone else should avoid using words that aren't pre-approved by them. I actually started wondering if they heard anything that I had said while I played. I don't know what Miss Potty Mouth said exactly, but I know that she wasn't loud enough for me to hear her and that I'd be very upset if people reported me for cursing rather than just asking me not to. Now I feel like I'm in a church-sponsored tennis league. How far can people take their religious and cultural preferences? Now I will acknowledge that there are rules of sportsmanship that come into play here. And although I didn't hear Potty Mouth, I did pick up on her grumpy vibe. They say that she didn't win tonight, and I think she may just be a poor sport. Either way I'm a little torn.

I don't mind keeping my profanity to myself, I usually try to when I'm not around friends, but I'm not sure that everyone should be required to hold their tongue to make others comfortable. I just wonder how far it goes and which words are naughty. Damn should be acceptable, especially if you can't get your serves in. And I personally prefer "shit" when a wonderful return is just an inch too wide or long. I feel that "fuck" is a little strong for the level of competition that I'm at, but the Wimbleton and US Open people should be able to drop the F-bomb. If we're going to have rules, they should be flexible. That's all I'm saying.



Photo by AP

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's funny. You're probably next on the list of people to be ejected. Did this waterboy/ coordinator seem to actually agree or was it more of a placating thing? You seem pretty paranoid about it now.
There is this chick that I work with who is a hard core Christian. We work in cubes and she demandingly asks that we do not curse where she can hear. Come on now. She's in the cube right next to me, so that pretty much means that I cuss at every opportunity that I am not on the phone.
We were planning on having an Office Space party where we watch the movie, drink, and make fun of our boss. She was so excited about it and then leans over my coworker and asks what it is rated. She follows that with can we watch the edited version because she doesn't watch anything over PG. Can you imagine the amount of entertainment you miss out on?

10/18/2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People need to get over it! I am sure that there are far much worse things going on around them, than the defiling of the ears with crass language. Stop fucking eavesdropping, and you won't have to worry about what you hear.

Society is so ridiculously sensitive!

Off topic, but speaking of sensitive... Why are the rappers that claim to be such thugs like the most sensitive people out there? If you're really a thug, shouldn't someone making a comment about you just roll off your back? Why do you care? They are some of the biggest crybabies. Anywho...

10/19/2005  
Blogger Atsui_Gal said...

I think people are just big on standing for something. Now it's not enough to just not use curse words- you can't hear them?! Why? Because that will make you repeat them? Is this like AA?

Um, I don't think waterboy gives a shit about cursing, but I think he's all about keeping the peice and sense they asked, he's gonna say something to homegirl. He has no more authority than I do on the court. But whatever.

Rappers are sensitive and men of the hip-hop persuasion in general are too. It's some bullshit code they've come up with about not being disrespected. I just heard a story yesterday where a friend of my friend threw a drink on another dude after a convo about pitbulls. Um, I think the guy offended him by saying something like, "I'd let my dog eat you." Something upsurd. Now, this dude who's been publically embarrased by having a drink thrown on him is like, "What am I going to do? I can't let this ride!" This could "beef" could really escalate, but the argument was totally fictional. To be so hard, guys take silly words too seriously.

10/19/2005  

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