Any damn way...

I'm back.

So, I'm blogging because I'm bored. Which is funny because when I'm busy I wish I had time to do all these things, then suddenly, I'm bored and can't think of shit to do. Weird...

So I developed a top 10 list of things to do when you're bored, to help others who may find themselves in my position some day. Here goes:

10. Blog or develop blog ideas... [note how this is dead last]
9. Call your mom [This is different from calling any other person. Moms talk more and much longer than normal people. Her ability to discuss topics that aren't even an issue in your life make calling mom when you're bored, i.e. no outlet, a fairly desperate measure.]
8. Return phone calls from people you're always "too busy" to talk to [tip: I'm going to do this on the way to shopping and then I'll be those people cell-phone haters hate, who talk on the phone about nothing in public.]
7. Taxes [I did this earlier, then it started to bore me]
6. clean [who doesn't need to clean? I personally choose not to when I'm bored because it doesn't fit my lick-and-promise cleaning style. I like to clean right before people come over, before I cook, or before I go to work in the morning. No time for detailing.]
5. Cook something from scratch
4. Watch more TV movies, which you've probably been watching for hours and hours already [I know I have]
3. Call someone you really enjoy talking to
2. Wash your hair [not so fun for guys, but I usually follow this with a two-hour hair style, like two-strand twists.]
1. Go shopping [exactly where I'm heading next. And a tip for the broke people: Go to a place that only accepts cash, who has cash? Not me. Returning your movie rentals fit in here too.]

So clearly I'm on my last option, blogging..

I bought a roll of paper towels yesterday and today I realized that it's far more than a disposable paper product. It offers words of wisdom like, "Be beautiful, be yourself" and "Gratitude is the real attitude of love" what type of loser listens to a fucking paper towel? What does this roll of paper know about life?

Yesterday while walking, I caught the attention of a passerby who just had to pull over and ask me a question. Did he need directions or loose his puppy? Nope, he just needed to know my name. I gave my favorite go-away answer: "I don't have a name. [now, beat it cocksucker]" that's the inner monologue he can't hear. What am I a $20 prostitute walking the streets in a bubble coat, sweater and jeans in broad daylight? He didn't even have the courtesy to warn me like this other dude who pulled over one night and started with:"I don't want to hurt you, I just want to blah, blah, blah." Thanks for acknowledging that your behavior may lead a woman to fear for her life, as if walking home in the dark wasn't enough.

Speaking of dark, who's afraid? Show of hands. I'll be the trailblazer who leads the way for adults who refuse to live without light. I need light to be comfy, that's all I'm saying. lol

Lastly, the picture above is of Pumpkin, from the Flava Flave reality show on VH1, spitting on New York, the bitch I love to hate the most based on edited footage of her "real" life. This Pumpkin character is pretty gangsta and nastier than drinking after Paris Hilton. Where did she get all that spit from?

OK kids, I'm out.