Yawn...

Hey, I'm still back. There's just not much going on. Hmm.. I can't say there's nothing going on. There was that earthquake in Indonesia. Was I the only one who thought is was poor timing considering that Brangelina were having a baby and wouldn't be able to help with relief efforts? I know if it weren't for that she would have been over there digging people out of rubble with one of those kids strapped to her back.

The weekend was kinda whatever. I squandered my free day off of work by not traveling and staying close to home. Bad move, I don't recommend it. I don't care if you live at Disney World, which would actually suck, you should get away on holidays.

I did have this delicious new drink this weekend called Nevado Arequipe at the Juan Valdez Cafe. Man, it was so good that I went back the next day for another. And it doesn't even have alcohol in it, what could make a nonalcoholic drink so special you ask? It's the heavenly goo that they blend into the frozen coffee drink. The goo is called arequipe (pronounced Ar-Rey-Ki-Pey, you roll those r's to sound more official.) and the stuff is like sweet caramel or dulce de leche. Something like the best shit in the world. I got to eat it all by itself without coffee, which isn't recommended.

So, now you know that if the highlight of my weekend was this coffee drink that there's nothing to talk about. I got raped by a salon that I went to for a trim and you already know how that story ends. You leave with your hair too short and your pockets too slim. They're lucky I've put my gangbanging days behind me or I would've pulled the drive by. While we're speaking of people going crazy, check out this article I just saw.

This guy Robert killed his wife and now thinks he's a woman named Michelle. He's demanding a sex-change operation, on the house. Sounds crazy, but not when the government has already used our tax dollars to pay for laser hair removal, gender indentification psychotherapy and hormone treatments. The hormones have left him or her a little depressed and suicidal. This guy has attempted suicide and self castration. Yikes! So, many doctors are saying that the surgery is necessary or he may kill himself. And by the way, they think he/she will be a danger in the female prison pop too. So it sounds like a lose-lose to me. But, I think they're saying that a murderer killing himself is a bad thing and that tax dollars are well spent if it means keeping a psycho murderer alive and happy. Only in the blessed United States of America.

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2006/05/31/convicted_killer_seeks_sex_change_operation/ (Too lazy to embed link)

Give this chick a beat, PLEASE!

So, I can't be "back" and not blog daily for a stint. I have embedded this video that Red State Hostage shared with me. Thank you Red State, you've saved me time and everyone else the burden of reading my ramblings. Um, yes, this is my hometown station. The traffic girl has clearly lost a bet of some sort and has been forced to bust a rhyme, old-school style. They really weren't this crunk when I lived in the area. I kinda have to give it up to this lady for making an ass out of her self on local TV, knowing that it could be broadcasted across the internet at any moment. I've never rhymed sober, much less in front of an audience, so she gets mad props, word to your mother, you know what I'm saying Home Skillet? And the creativity! It's kind of like a modern day mashup and she's got the Southern twang with it (we all know how hot Southern accents are in hip hop), yet the lyrics are mad retro. In my mind I can hear maybe Linkin Park's music behind this. If she hadn't got caught up with all those no's near the end she would have been OK. She went overboard right there. lol.

Clearly the weather guy didn't get the memo on hip-hop culture where adults call each other boys and girls. Uh, like, duh? I'll give homegirl a 4, which is damn good coming from me. I mean, Nick Cannon songs usually pull a 6 at best!
But I just want to know this: Did she grab her crotch at the end?

5000, G.


As seen on Break.com

TV, how thee doth suck

Hey there, I'm back.

This past year I've developed quite an appetite for TV shows of all varieties. I heart "Lost" "America's Next Top Model" "Girlfriends" well, it's actually a short list of shows that I love, but I'll watch anything once. And everyone knows I have a weakness for scripted reality TV. But the networks have really pissed me off this year with their fall lineups. So, UPN is gone. It merged with the WB (a network I never watch apparently because I don't know any of their shows.) to create the CW. The lineup for fall is as wack as the new network's name, which stands for parent companies CBS (C) and Warner Bros. (W). Hope the people who developed that got a raise and a vacation, imagine the sleepless nights they must have spent waiting for inspiration to hit them.

I like to pour a little coffee into the trash can for the cast of "Half & Half" pictured above, they have been cancelled. Go ahead, pour some water, Mountain Dew whatever you have out for these fallen funny faces. Some of you may actually have liquor at your desks, that's the ultimate gesture. When the networks merged they had too many shows to keep, they had to cut many. UPN had too many shows with all-Black casts, so they had to go. But to cut right to the chase here's why I'm a little pissed. The CW took every show with a black cast, which is nearly every show on non-cable network channels, and lumped them together in a soul food Sunday block. The show with the most critical acclaim "Everybody Hates Chris" got the worst time slot, 7 p.m. It's followed by "All of Us," which sucks harder than "Half & Half," but I'm sure that the power of producers Will Smith and Jada Pinkett helped them over the hump. Then there's "Girlfriends" and a spin-off of the show called "The Game" and a f-king rerun of "Top Model," um I know we need a rerun of "Top Model" every week, but on Sunday night? Couldn't they have saved one more UPN show like, oh say, "Half & Half"? One person on BET's message board made a good point about the CW's "Black TV night." She said that she enjoys coming home and unwinding with a comedy (not a rerun). She'll miss Monday Nights on UPN. But for me, I only watch UPN twice a week anyway, Wednesday, Monday and if I really try hard I can catch "Everybody Hates Chris" before it goes off at 8:30 on Thursday. The real problem here is that most of the shows on WB are 1-hour long ("Gilmore Girls" "Smallville" whatever) and black sitcoms are all 30-mins long. I don't miss most of the shows that were cancelled like "Cuts" (Bye!!) "Eve" (cute, but boring!) "Love Inc." ( I felt like a hostage in my own home watching that shit.) and others too stupid to remember.

If anyone runs into CW, can you tell them I said: "You're new lineup shows the reason why the WB and UPN needed to merge in the first place, clearly you're idiots. I'll fry some chicken and eat watermelon and gather around the TV on Sunday nights to watch my little 'Black shows,' but I won't like it!" The CW also has a new advertising strategy where they'll create little mini-programs that use advertiser's products and entice us to watch these commercials in disguise. Why will we watch? Because we'll want to see the results of the first date once two losers are made over using Pantene and Oil of Olay products or whatever. Sounds pretty sneaky, but as long as it means that the "Top Model" girls can stop doing those dumb-ass product placements in the middle of the show, this is fine with me.

Have you noticed how corny it's getting lately? They'll be prepping for a photo shoot and it's bad enough that the shoot is to advertise a new razor by Gillette, but these chicks have to TALK about the products with each other or their stylists. How stupid! They'll be like, "I use this at home all the time. It makes my hair soft" (So! Can I see the photo shoot now, please?) The other week they had these poor girls shaving thier legs with the razor in the damn forest! Who the hell shaves their legs in the jungle of Thailand, propping their foot on tree trunks?! Why wouldn't a model have shaved her legs at home in the shower like normal chicks? I mean, they've gotten totally carried away, and I don't want to watch another woman shave her legs. That's too much reality for me.

OK, in other TV news "Grey's Anatomy" moved to Thursdays. Fine. "King of Queens" and "The Bernie Mac Show" were cancelled, not that I watched, but I rooted for the shows silently. I'm looking into some of the new shows that are coming this fall. Most sound like nothing to rush home for, but I will be checking out the new show with John Cho (Harold from Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle) called "The Singles Table" on NBC (I think). It's supposed to be like "Friends" so, I'll give it a try only because I like John. I don't need an all black cast of actors to be happy, but I need more than a token actor to watch your show. Not that the networks care if I'm happy or anything. I see how it is. At least there's "Lost" and I'm going to work hard so that I can go home and enjoy the season finale tonight.


CW'S FALL SCHEDULE
MONDAY
8 p.m. 7th Heaven
9 p.m. Runaway
TUESDAY
8 p.m. Gilmore Girls
9 p.m. Veronica Mars
WEDNESDAY
8 p.m. America's Next Top Model
9 p.m. One Tree Hill
THURSDAY
8 p.m. Smallville
9 p.m. Supernatural
FRIDAY
8 p.m. Friday Night Smackdown!
SUNDAY
7 p.m. Everybody Hates Chris*
7:30 p.m. All of Us*
8 p.m. Girlfriends*
8:30 p.m. The Game
9 p.m. America's Next Top Model repeat