Militant Black Toast

By Any Means Necessary

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

British Opera stops blacking up in 2005


Last week Britain's Royal Opera House called for the end of "blacking up," white actors wearing black body and face makeup to play black characters. The Royal Opera spokesperson said: "We had tried various means to see if there was a way in which we could resolve the issue of whether a white actor should be 'blacked up' and decided we should cut it. It doesn't work. It's racially insensitive."

Of course they issued this statement after the play "The Masked Ball" ran in the summer and caused controversy. When the same play began rehearsals for an opening this week, a British newspaper columnist clowned them for blacking up a white actress for the role of "negro fortune teller" in this play set in pre-Civil War America. He wrote: "To see a revival of 'blacking up' in the opera house in 2005 is just beyond belief," adding: "We couldn't stop laughing at the ludicrous sight." About 24 hours after the column ran, the opera issued the statement saying that the actress will not be blacked up for her role.

Apparently, blacking up is reserved for the rare situation when a play calls for a black or non-white character and the directors have problems casting a person of that race. It's not like they do this every day. Opera industry types say that it's cool because there aren't many black opera singers who can hit the specific range of some characters - like Othello, which was performed by an actor in blackface as late as the eighties.

I think it's a tight situation. I'm sure it's hard to find black opera singers and then one who can match a specific vocal range that's required for the role. They say the pickings are slim, so why not start some programs where non-white children are encouraged to take vocal training? Maybe there aren't many black opera singers because black people aren't exposed and have little interest in it. Regardless, you just need to suck it up and roll with the embarrassment of having a white woman play a black character. It's better than insulting an entire race of people. I'm proud of the Royal Opera for putting their foot down...at last. The director of the opera was reportedly not happy with the news, but went along with the RO's decision.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Two Year Maximum for Murder

Did you know that the maximum sentence for killing someone while driving drunk is two years? In Boston, Mass., 23-year-old Bader Al-Saud, a member of the Saudi royal family, killed a pedestrian while driving under the influence in 2002. Dude plead guilty to the charges last week and was sentenced to ONE YEAR in the prison of his choice. His lawyers chose a county jail that happens to be located on Martha's Vineyard. How many killers do you think they have in that place?

"We agreed that he would serve his time in the Dukes County House of Correction- not because it is a lavish place. It is a real jail, there are bars on the windows and there are real jail cells. As we stated in our memo, we were apprehensive about his safety," said defense attorney Michael DeMarco.

Of course the victim Orlando Ramos' family is pissed. They told CNN that money talks and because he's rich he was able to get off rather lightly. But the article ended by saying that the maximum penalty for this crime is only two years. Now, I hope there aren't any potential killers reading this, because if you can get drunk and make it look like an accident, you can really do some damage. Two years ain't shit, especially if you can get a lawyer to talk it down to one. That sucks for the Ramos family. Perhaps after he does a year in county- not even prison, geesh- they should make him go to the Ramos household and do things for them that Orlando would usually do. He could mow the lawn and fix shit and pay bills and whatever else they make up. Like, "Orlando used to cook arroz con pollo every day!" Or maybe one of them could accidentally mow his ass over with their car.

Keep an eye out for the judge who handed down this pat at the Kentucky Derby next year. He'll probably be sitting in the good seats near the Bush family.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Down with Coke, up with Hope!



Soft Drink Syrup Beast Coca-Cola tried to squeeze the competition out of Raquel Chavez’s shop in Mexico City, Mexico and got slapped with $68 million in fines. When Chavez started carrying a cheaper cola brand out of Peru called Big Cola, Coke’s sales rep told her to remove them from her stores or he would stop selling her Coke products. "I told them [Coca-Cola], 'you can't refuse to sell to me, that's unconstitutional',” Ms Chavez told BBC News. "I didn't really know if it was unconstitutional, but I said it anyway."

I like this lady. She thought it sounded unfair and reported them to the Mexican competition authorities three years ago. Her complaints brought $13 million in fines, and then Pepsi brought a parallel complaint that led to another $53 million. Of course, Coca-Cola will appeal and get the fines reduced, but it’s good to see someone fighting back, especially in grimy Mexico City. Chavez even said that she was surprised she won because people get away with everything in Mexico. She hopes that people will start to stand up for themselves more as a result.

I’m really glad this went down, and wonder if I can post a consumer complaint. I only have love for Pepsi, and it really annoys me when I go into a “convenience” store that’s conveniently stocked nothing but Coke products. What about my right to choose? In fact, last June a European Union investigation found that Coke’s exclusive contracts stifled competition and made them end all exclusive agreements. Serves them right. But I must admit that Cherry Coke is a lovable product. And that lime in the coconut ad is kinda cute too.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Supermodels say no more beef!















Aren't you dying to see Tyra Banks and Naomi Campbell end their 14-year feud?! On Friday, the Tyra Show will air a very special episode where Tyra and Naomi face off and squash their beef, that I'm assuming no one outside of the fashion world knows or cares about. It still makes good TV though. Tyra is clearing out her studio audience to have this very personal conversation with Naomi, who she says should have been her mentor in the industry but was a stumbling block instead.

I hear that Tyra even says she left modeling because of Naomi and that it was always understood that while there may be nearly a dozen supermodels in the world, only one could be black. It's said that Tyra will reveal to Naomi that she left the modeling business for two reasons, one was that she was tired of squeezing into sample clothes. "The other half of that is, I was tired of having to deal with you." Tyra says to Naomi. "I was tired of constantly hearing that I got cancelled from this job or that, or hearing that this photographer was called or that magazine was called and [told] not to use me."

No one says that Naomi didn't hit Tyra, which is why we are supposed to tune in. I think she should keep it real..and I don't see how someone with Naomi's violent nature can sit in her sworn enemy's face and say "You're right... I was jealous of you. I got you kicked out of several jobs because I refused to share my spotlight with you." That's not how jealous bitches get down. But we'll see. Or maybe we won't, because I'll be at work on Friday.

BTW, I like Tyra, but does anyone else think she looks a lot like a drag queen? She always brags that she learned everything about walking from drag queens, but she actually does her hair and makeup like one.. eeew.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

TGIF/ Curtis Jackson



It's Friday and I find myself pondering, "Fifth from the store or drinks at the bar?" Just kidding, that's a no-brainer, a fifth is far more economical.

What I'm really thinking about is the news I just read about 50 Cent's Get Rich or Die Trying being pulled from a theater outside of Pittsburgh. On Thursday, a 30-year-old man got into an argument with three guys in the theater's bathroom after he watched the movie. The article says that the fight spilled out into the concessions area and Shelton Flowers was fatally shot. Lowes Corp. owns the theater and decided to pull the movie until the investigation is over to assure the safety of their patrons.

50 Cent was on The View today (formally one of my favorite shows) and said, "I feel for the victim's family in this situation. But you know, these weren't kids. This was a 30-year-old man who had a dispute with three other guys." Fiddy makes a great point here, there's really nothing else to say about it. This was a grown man and it REALLY doesn't matter if he had just watched Zathura, Chicken Little or a 50 Cent flick. One resident told All Hip Hop.com that this isn't the first shooting at the theater and that the place just doesn't have enough security for the neighborhood that it's in.

The only sense I can make of this is that Lowes believes this film brings out certain types of people who are more violent than others. Surely, they can't believe that this movie makes people more violent than say, Jarhead? All Hip Hop also says that the chief of police in Toledo, Ohio has called to have the movie pulled from local theaters out of fear that it will cause violence. The theaters refused, but they did agree not to show it at midnight. I kinda don't get the distinction between violence in war films, violence in Mafia flicks, violence in Quentin Tarantino flicks and then the horrible, unthinkable violence in "urban films." When Tom Cruise or John Travolta kill people, it's all good. Al Pacino sells dope and kills people- He's a genius! But an semi-autobiographical movie that uses violence to tell a true story has people terrified and worried about their safety. WTF?

I'm going to see Get Rich or Die Trying as soon as my bullet-proof bustier arrives in the mail.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

It's all very dumb


I saw a new video last night on 106 & Park. It was Pharrell and Gwen Stefani's new song "Can I Have It Like That." I'm wondering if I missed something, but I swear that all Gwen said was, "You got it like that" again and again. She didn't even sing those words, and she got a credit and a large spot in the video. Why? Any chick could have said that, and many talented singers have done more than that for no credit at all. Let's compare the work that Gwen did on "Can I Have It Like That" to all the work that Kelis did for Pharrell back in the day. I'm not saying he owes her anything, I mean he did write nearly every song Kelis has ever sang. But the point is that artists do more than what Stefani did on tracks and you have to search for hours just to find their name. I don't have a point, because it's obvious that Stefani is getting more credit than deserved because she's super-famous.

I just can't figure out why Stefani is considered to be so hip hop. She makes pop music, and she's clearly getting attention and airplay on hip-hop stations because of her association w/ Pharrell and others. And which hip-hop heads are requesting "Hollaback Girl"? What the fuck does that EVEN MEAN??!! That's like some shit you'd see on a poster in Tokyo, written by a hip-hop fan who speaks some English, but doesn't get the slang. In that scenario it's cute. I think Pharrell has to share some of the blame for this. He produced the track and co-signed on the whole thing, as if he knows what it means. [But seriously, if you love hip hop and you've requested "Hollaback Girl," you owe the rest of us an explanation. Please respond below.]

If we're drafting pop stars into the hip-hop community then I'd like to bring Madonna over. We'll get her a makeover and tell her to stop dancing like a drunken sorority girl. I miss Madonna! In exchange we'll garauntee airplay on urban radio and inclusion in BET events. Plus a VIBE cover like Stefani's. BTW Madonna's new video is pretty-damn hot.

PS: Pharrell's rapping disturbs me. He doesn't even have to write hot rhymes, he can trade beats for verses, or just promise a rapper a discount. All he needs is a flow, and despite all the time he's spent producing the illest rappers in the game, this dude still sucks. He's clearly a lost cause. Hate! Hate! Hate! I'm listening to "She Wants to Move" from the NERD album right now, and like Will Smith told Kevin James in Hitch "This is where you live, Pharrell."

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Wal-Mart




A new Wal-mart just opened in my area. There was already a super Wal-Mart about 10-15 minutes away, but now I can be in the parking lot in like 7 mins. (of course it takes 5 mins to find a parking space and 5 more to walk to the store). Anyway, I was strong when Wal-Mart was 15 mins away. I would say shit like, "I'm not going to Wal-mart for that! We can buy that at the damn grocery store..." Yes, I realize some things are cheaper there, but I'd refuse to let them squeeze out the little guys. Now that Wal-Mart's closer I feel its force. I think about it after the grocery store closes and I'm still awake. "Hmm, Wal-Mart's open," I say to myself. "I could throw on something and go shopping. I can look for new stationary and a poofy-sponge for the shower." Shit I'm not even pressed to own. Then the thought that makes me put my clothes on, "I should go see what type of conditioners they have, and maybe the have body wash on sale with lotion attached to the back!" I love when they have that perfect combo of products taped together.

Is Wal-Mart as evil as they say it is? I mean, they opened four new stores in my city and employed about 1100 people. The average salary was $9-10/hour which really isn't bad compared to min. wage. There were people waiting to get in at 7 a.m. when these stores opened. I was watching the news like, "Look at these ass holes." But where did I go when I got off work that day? To "the new" Wal-Mart, like an ass hole. And traffic was horrible. I did get 4 lightbulbs for 77 cents, but I bet the same deal was poppin across town.

The only beef I can have with Wal-Mart is that the one near me is massive. It reminds me of this K-mart distribution warehouse I used to work in. It feels like we should be on forklifts in that place. So they killed lots of trees, but they were so kind to the Katrina victims. Did you know that Wal-Mart has a dating nights in some cities? You can put a number on your cart and push it around which means you're into dating. Then if you're too shy for that, they have little areas in the store where people can meet and talk. Crazy. It's a corporate giant that wants to own everything, just go to Cancun for proof of that, but it's so damn lovable at the same time. Damn You Wal-Mart!!!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Narcissism

Today I realized that I am in constant contact with a Narcissist. HELP!!! I read a description online and there's a person in my life who has EVERY single symptom. I wonder now if I'm in danger? I'm actually proud that I already try to avoid feeding the narcissist its "narcissist supply" which is adulation, adoration and attention. But sometimes, feeding it these things makes the time we spend interacting go smoother.
This is a silly disease when I think about it, because it seems like there's no help for these people. All we can do is give them their medicine (attention) which trust me, you quickly figure that out. Considering that the very nature of it requires that the person with the problem stay out of the loop it seems like a never-ending cycle. Here's the description in case you know one too...
The basic dynamic of this particular brand of co-morbidity goes like this:
1. The narcissist feels superior, unique, entitled and better than his fellow men. He thus tends to despise them, to hold them in contempt and to regard them as lowly and subservient beings.

2. The narcissist feels that his time is invaluable, his mission of  cosmic importance, his contributions to humanity priceless. He, therefore, demands total obedience and catering to his ever-changing needs. Any demands on his time and resources is deemed to be both humiliating and wasteful.

3. But the narcissist is dependent on input from other people for the performance of certain ego functions (such as the regulation of his sense of self worth). Without Narcissistic Supply (adulation, adoration, attention), the narcissist shrivels and withers and is dysphoric (=depressed).

4. The narcissist resents this dependence. He is furious at himself for his neediness and - in a typical narcissistic maneuver (called "alloplastic defence") - he blames others for his anger. He displaces his rage and its roots.

5. Many narcissists are paranoids. This means that they are afraid of people and of what people might do to them. Wouldn't you be scared and paranoid if your very life depended continually on the goodwill of others? The narcissist's very life depends on others providing him with Narcissistic Supply. He becomes suicidal if they stop doing so.