Militant Black Toast

By Any Means Necessary

Friday, April 27, 2007

Akon's dry hump


Unfortunately the best I can do is provide this link to the video of Akon and the 14-year-old girl, acting and dressing like a grown-ass woman, in Trinidad.

You've probably seen it by now. The question is.. is this a criminal act? Let's overlook the fact that she's 14. I'm not sure it's fair to play the minor card since she admits that she lied to be where she was and was presenting herself like an adult with her actions and clothing. NOW, let me be clear: Had she been raped or really assualted, I wouldn't think her age or clothing mattered at all. Akon would be a criminal in my book.

But in this video, his only crime is being a pretty shitty dancer. (He's probably bad in bed as well.) I think what happened is more annoying than anything. Most women wouldn't enjoy being thrown around on stage like that and humped all over the dirty floor. He's wrong but not a criminal in my opinion. The only reason why this is becoming a major issue seems to be because the girl is underage and because her father's a minister. But let's remember that she was chosen to be in a dance contest and won. If you know hip-hop and have ever seen these impromptu dance contests, you know that women ALWAYS go overboard to prove they can "dance." I've seen titties pulled out and all types of crazy antics take place in order to win. This young lady says that she was told she'd win a trip to Africa with Akon, but when she won he told her that he was Africa. Ooops!

People on the island (which proudly hosts a wild Carnival every year) seem to think it's immoral to dance like this onstage. Sure it is.. but doesn't it take two? Don't many, many people dance dirty across the world? But hey, what do I know?

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Bootleg Bidness Trip


Man, I hate to talk about my employer, because I love it so much. It keeps a roof over my head and food on the table and there's still money left over to waste at bars, clubs and retail stores. Sometimes there are perks like free CDs and concerts. So I overlook little things that really, if I paid more attention, would make me want to burn something down. Not the office building, because we're just one of many suites and I'm not into arsen. Not at all.

Anyways, this week I had a business trip to New York. You've probably heard of the town, it's not that far really. In The Day After Tomorrow Dennis Quaid started driving from D.C. then walked to New York in the worst snow storm ever. Since it's not far, it's not too expensive to reach. They're are several modes of transportation available for less than $200/person round trip. There's the plane, which isn't so flexible, the train, which is SUPER flexible and driving, which is by far the best bet for a small group of people. My employer chose a mode of transportation I hadn't even considered.
The bus. At least it was a Greyhound and not a Chinatown option. (Which I overheard someone lamenting over. "I wish you guys could have caught Vamoose." ) SIGH

I've taken the bus before, can't say I haven't. But I also remember the shame I felt the last time I rolled up in Chinatown with bags strapped to me wearing a grimy bus-riding outfit on a Friday night. I saw a former classmate and was glad that he didn't see me.

Anyway, I'll spare some of my other thoughts about the bus business trip beacuse I am at work. Well, one more thing. Before leaving I was asked to bring my own bed linens and towels because we were staying at a place that may not have enough. I was like, "Wow, this is bootleg. I miss my small company with the pshyco bosses and the big budget." I didn't bring sheets and luckily I didn't need them. The linens were in tack.

I'm just wondering if I've ever had a lower-income business trip before. I've had to share space with some unbearable people, but usually really nice spaces. Here's the thing about business trips. If I have to travel for business, whether it's a professional conference that I just choose to go to or an assignment for a freelance assignment, I pick the best mode of transportation that I can find. Why? It's a tax write off- a legitimate business expense. I mean, some companies have meetings in Bora Bora for this reason alone! Maybe I don't know much about corporate taxes, but I know that I wouldn't take a cheap-ass bus, which is basically a rolling port-a-potty, on my business travel. In the end, the only winner is the bus operator. OK.. I'm done for now.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Straight to DVD

Now, I've noticed that technology has improved. It's a beautiful thing. We can burn our own DVDs and buy bootleg movies months before the real thing hits theaters. Awesome. But has anyone noticed how fast movies are leaving the theater and going to DVD? In a minute it'll be like Cherry Blossom viewing season: Opening week, second week, last week.

As I started seeing commercials for Oscar nominated films hitting DVD, like Last King of Scotland and The Pursuit of Happyness, I had been thinking, "damn, that was fast!" But just this week I saw that Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls will be on DVD in July. It definitely opened on Feb. 14 because I went to see it. That's a five month turn around. There used to be a time when we had to wait a year to catch shit on VHS. And that's why I rushed to see it in the theater. Who wants to wait a year to see something really good? Now it seems that they're racing against Pay Per View and bootleggers to get the movies into stores as fast as possible.

I don't care all too much, but I'm just saying. It's funny how things have changed.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Praying for V-Tech


Yes, MBT has a heart. Today it goes out to the students, faculty, alumni and friends of V Tech. I am floored by what happened there yesterday. I'm trying not to pull a Rosie O'Donnell and fall into depression (like she says she did after 9-11) and start dissing people for no reason.

I believe that every man has his day. I fly the friendly skies fearlessly and walk through D.C. at night thinking, "If it's my day, I'm going down no matter where I am." My attitude is that you can be laying in bed wearing your pajamas at 10 p.m. and just die--if it's your day. But every now and then a massacre like this happens and turns my whole theory upside down. There's NO WAY 32 people on the same college campus had there day on the same day, is there? It was the same thing with 9-11. When there are survivors, what do we say? "It wasn't his day." Part of me says, I should amend my theory adding that there will be days when several people who are destined to die that day randomly come together. But that shit doesn't make sense.

I'm trying not to sit around and watch round-the-clock news about this massacre, so I don't have ALL of the details. But I have enough. I don't want to be sad.

Now, I understand that a lot of people are angry about the slow response of the campus officials. I wonder if they thought the first shooting was an isolated incident and they didn't want to alarm everyone. They're sending out emails, which move fast unless you send them to 20,000 people at the same time. I'm sure IT has this under control. They say that it's hard to lock this campus down and I'm sure it's even harder when you don't know who the shooter is.

I kinda of wondered how this will effect the incoming freshman class for this school. I don't think my parents would send me to V Tech even it's my top choice. I also wonder how many students will want to transfer out. But really none of that matters. Not right now.

I just think it's really sad that so many talented people lost their lives. One of my favorite MBT readers attends V Tech and we can't wait to hear from him.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Ray J's sex tape..


So, has anyone seen this sex tape with Brandy's no-so-little brother? I saw quite a bit and it brought me joy. Unlike, non-celebrity porn because I don't watch that stuff. Why? Because it's looked down upon in our society. I mean, I can declare openly that I've seen "R. Kelly's" sex tape with the underage girl, but I'd be viewed differently if I talked about a DVD called Naughty Brazilian School Yard Adventures. Why is that?

Anyway, back to Ray J. He's a talented young man and I hope people will take him more seriously now. I just wanted to share that. A man with his cunnilingus skills deserves praise not redicule. Here's a kid making lemonade out of life's lemons, like having a sister whose career eclipses anything you'll ever do in life. I don't think there's any real question about who released this tape so that it could be sold. I wonder if Ray J and Whitney will make a sex tape... damn, as soon as I typed that my stomach started to turn. Excuse me.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Oh Imus....


Don Imus has disturbed the sleeping giant. I was trying to get some of my shit together and here this dude goes calling women from the Rutgers University basketball team "nappy headed hos..." Why Imus, why?

Someone who hates to be nappy so much that he's been perming his do since the days of the conk stepped up to confront Imus today. That's right, the spectacular, silky smooth, rythmically advanced Rev. Al Sharpton. You KNOW those are fighting words. Al told Imus that this debate isn't over had good he is, it's about the fact that what he said was racist. Imus said that he's humiliated by this event.. but that's not gonna be enough. Some people like Jesse Jackson and a 50 other people with flexible work schedules marched outside of NBC's Chicago offices today asking for Imus to be removed.

Imus tried to put his remarks in context on MSNBC today too. He says that he makes fun of everyone on his program, and sometimes people make fun of him. But he admits that these ladies didn't deserve to be picked on, and that they didn't know whether he was trying to be funny or not.
"Our agenda is to be funny and sometimes we go too far. And this time we went way too far," Imus told Sharpton today."

Hmm, Here's my thing. Imus can go for all I care. There are plenty of talented disc jockeys who can be funny and edgy without being degrading or racist. So, I don't think the air waves will miss him too much. But that being said, I didn't know he even existed before last week and I've never heard his show. That's probably why I feel like this. But watching his video I think that he's pretty sincere. He even asked for a chance to apologize to the players and their families in person. Imus does know black people and terminally ill black kids come to his ranch in New Mexico and he and his wife go to their funerals when they pass away. I'm not trying to make light of this because it's sad that kids die. But Imus said all that to make put himself into context. He wants people to know more about him than his comments.

I haven't REALLY checked out these Rutgers chicks, so their heads very well may be nappy. But as a sister who has shunned relaxers for the past seven years, I have to just go on the record and say that "nappy" is a term that hasn't fully been embraced yet. I prefer, kinky, curly or coily, which is most accurate. But seriously, the real problem with what he said is the "hos" part, not the nappy part. I know that he wasn't only speaking about the black players when he said that, but you can't just call women hos for the fun of it. But, at the end of the day I know Don was trying to be funny. In conclusion, if I caused that much trouble for my employer there'd be no question about whether or not I should apply for unemployment.

This whole situation reminds me of a white young lady that I met recently. She's a roommate of a friend of mine and she seems to have been given a pass to use the N word by one of her black friends. I don't know this black friend, but I do know that those passes don't translate beyond the circle of friends who give it to you. She thinks that she can use the N word in the presence of all black people and recently learned that she can't. Should she be ousted from her home? NO! I didn't march in her front yard just because she said something crazy and racist sounding. So, I wish Imus the best of luck and I agree that good people say stupid shit all the time. I think he can learn from this lesson and move on. Much like my friend's roommate.


photo by AP