Mickey got me good...

So I won't bore you with the details of my hectic life, but trust me: I have WAY more to do that shoot the shit on MBT these days. Still, I've been guilt tripped into posting.

Last weekend was a glorious one. I felt like Young Jeezy at Magic City making it rain. Only, I was making it rain by throwing dollars at Mickey Mouse and taking it in the rear with no lube at Sea World. Yes, I went to Orlando and attempted to give my nephew and niece the dream vacation of going to Disney. It was kind of like I was the ho and Disney corporation was my pimp. I worked hard for my cash and then went to Orlando and gave it to Walt and his boys. It was really grandma's idea to reward this her first grandson with a trip to Disney for his graduation gift. Um, he's just going to middle school, isn't that required? Anyway, I'm just saying that I don't recall getting shit for moving on to middle school. I was doing good to get a new Cross Colors shirt to rock on the first day! Furthermore, what the hell happens to women when their children have children? I found myself wondering that several times as I watched my mom interact with my nephew.

My mama was NO JOKE when I was growing up. When she would chaperon trips for my school or at church, my friends would be like, ugh how do you live with her? She's SO MEAN! But she wasn't as mean to me because I kept my ass in line. It's a wonder I found my voice because children weren't allowed to have voices and make choices in my house. Fast forward to 2007 and my brother's son not only has a voice, he rolls thunder with it. If grandma even thinks he wants something he gets it. When he wastes food and me and my sister fuss at him, grandma steps in to defend him, "He doesn't have a big appetite." Well, why the hell did we let him order this big ass meal? SIGH... Anyway.. I just think it's crazy.Furthermore, I can't wait to have my kids so that I can send them to grandma's house for all the freedom they can stand. Then my home can be a little kingdom where my children only study, do chores and obey [yeah right].

No but seriously, he's cute, but my nephew is no saint. And there were times when I was looking at my mom, peering into her eyes to make sure that she hadn't had her body snatched. I mean, I felt like saying, "Who are you?! Where's my mom?" I would tense up anticipating the punishment for my nephew and nothing. I'd wait for the next offense, like, oh she's gonna embarrass him this time... wait for it... NOTHING! So, my sister and I did all the screaming and grandma was the protector.

Back to Disney. We went too late the first day so we couldn't do everything. Then on the Sea World day it rained. Hard.. I don't know if you've been in this situation before. I mean, as a paying adult. Here's how it goes: You fork over about $70 for yourself and $50 + for the children, only to get rained on. Then you have to watch the wind disappear from their sails when they realize that they can't move on to the next ride or feed the dolphins. The guilt is just so painful.. THEN comes the complaints. "I want to ride this! I didn't get to do that. I'm so upset."

OH REALLY? You're upset? Well let me see you bank account so we can determine how much you've lost, oh wait, you don't have a fucking bank account! So all you lost was time that you would have spent playing video games or swimming? Let me show you what I lost while standing in the rain. Grown folks have to feel me on this. I'm out here feeling slight disappointment for them missing out on stuff, but then there's the money that I spent and the lack of memories. I remember my first trip to Disney. I was 5 and it was really magical. I got a Minnie doll and my dad ate all the doughnuts and the sandwiches got all wet from the ice in the cooler. I was devastated by those things, so that let's you know how my parents got down. So while I really felt horrible that the kids didn't get to see everything, I had to shut down all whining. I just couldn't take it on top of the guilt and the financial loss.

Furthermore, can I just say that the money being spent at these parks is sickening? I was on the ferry returning to the car and overheard a little Latina girl asking this little white girl's mom how much it cost her to get made into a princess. "It was $200," she replied. "But that includes the photos, the clothes, makeup, hair and shoes." Riiight.... on top of food and souvenirs and entry. Forget about it! And she wasn't the only princess in the park. There were lots of little kids who had been transformed. I was like, Damn. I need to get into the theme park business.

Disney is magical, but I'm over it. I refuse to return without my own children. Don't even ask.

If had an Usher

This image shows Usher's fiancee Tameka Foster broadcasting her thoughts as he poses for a photo with what appears to be a fellow celeb. I don't know who this is... It doesn't matter. Even if she's just a fan, you have to share when you have a man like Usher. I would understand that, ahem. My baby could pose nude with chicks for all I care, as long as he comes home to the mansion and respects our relationship... and as long as it's tasteful, of course.

I have nothing....

So... all is well here. Today is hot. I usually like hot, but I've had to walk outside a few times and my air conditioner is being fixed again, hopefully for the last time. The AC repair guy isn't wearing his red shirt today, in case you were wondering.

I'm watching 24-hour news on my lunch break. The big news today is Chris Benoit's toxicology results.... Why do we have to prove that this is roid rage? Can't he just be a crazy-ass murderer? Sadly, they discovered that his 7-year-old son was drugged with Xanax and sedated before he was killed. The whole family was on Xanax actually.

Also, the Senate is pulling an all-nighter. It seems that the Democrats are planning to talk the Republicans to death before they start filibustering on Wednesday to block the vote that could pull the troops out of Iraq. Of course, this is being labeled a stunt because there's no way they get enough votes to win. Maybe it's the cots. I have to go out on a limb and say it's a waste of time since the Republicans won't be listening anyway. I wonder how many people really change their minds based on what is said in Congress. It seems that they only make decisions for strategic reasons and most legislators have their minds made up before people even start talking.
This has to be the hardest work day that Senators will face all year. Overall, it is very exciting! I haven't seen anything this exciting since Clinton's impeachment trial. Now, THAT was political theater.

Then there's a story about where day laborers should wait for pick up trucks to scope them for work. I live near one of these pick up spots in D.C... It seems to make people angry... but it doesn't bother me. They're just sitting there, under the trees in the Home Depot parking lot. If I need help painting my accent wall, I can just scoop a day laborer up and buy a couple gallons of paint in the same parking lot. Sweet. One guy from DC was on MSNBC and he was saying that he doesn't like the solution that the city has proposed, which is to build a day labor center nearby and let people pick up laborers there. He's like, they call it multicultural, but everyone knows that they're after the illegal immigrants and non-English speaking workers... Well, duh, those are the cheap ones right? It's kinda sad because those who will work really hard for little money seem to steal jobs from lazy Americans who want to make at least minimum wage... And for some reason, that's supposed to be unfair. No, it is unfair. Everyone should make minimum wage.

Blackie

When I was a kindergartner I had a best buddy named Shannon. If I think hard I can remember her last name, but it doesn't matter. Shannon rode the school bus with me and lived in the same neighborhood. We'd debate over whether I was black or brown. She'd say black, I'd argue brown. I mean, duh, can't you SEE my color? One day we were coloring on the bus and a brown crown rolled over and stopped by my hand, boom! I proved that I matched the crayon and Shannon couldn't deny it. Later during that school year she got into lots of trouble for using the N-word in class.. So, at last, while she may have believed I was brown, another black kid in class fit the description of a nigger, a word that she told our teacher she had learned from her dad.

Debating over skin tone is stupid and childish. Black is a race, not a skin tone (5-year-old me didn't know that. Shannon was right). Yet, the jokes prevail...and finally dark Americans embrace derogatory nicknames like Smoke and Black. It can be cute, now that dark skin people are "in style." But when an old-school person calls you "Blackie," as a superior in my office did earlier today, you know exactly what it means. When someone calls me "dark meat" or "blackie" I can only assume that you subscribe to the belief that black is ugly and problematic. This older black person went on to question whether I've been hanging out in the sun. I said, yes. I've been to the beach lately. Really? What beach do you go to? I share the locations and think the convo is over. Then a few seconds later, "So you actually sit in the sun?" Um, yes, I replied. I have a summer complexion and a winter complexion and I love them both. Why do I have to justify this?

I haven't given two shits about my complexion since, well, puberty. It never held me back and as people matured it wasn't much of an issue. Of course, I did have ignorant family members asking me to stay out of the sun as if I'd ruin myself for the entire summer by tanning. Anyone who grew up on the dark side, and caught hell for it, knows that it takes maturity on your part to realize that beauty comes in every shade. I'm over it. The sun is my friend. Then comes this dinosaur calling me blackie and implying that I must be crazy to sit my black ass in the sun. Well, fuck you! That's what I would have said if this person didn't have the power to make me broke. Luckily I have experience taking direction from ignorant leaders... I should put that shit on my resume. Speaking of my resume, I won't even go into how very unprofessional it is to throw around these types of comments in an office setting. I think that goes without saying. Beyond that, if black is ugly what else is it? Stupid? I can't help but wonder how this perception affects this person's opinion of me and other dark skinned employees.

The major problem with this type of ignorance is that it really heats me up. I was sitting at my desk fuming looking for IM buddies to talk to for at least an hour.

Nicole Richie is preggers

So, I just recently developed a liking for babies. They're so cute.. now that I'm older. So I'm happy for Nicole Richie if she's going to have a baby with Joel Madden, but a few questions popped into my mind:
1. Can a fetus have an eating disorder?
2. Can her frame carry a child?
3. Why would you have raw sex with a Madden brother?
4. Will DJ AM be taking a paternity test?