Butt tubes and the boob tube

My weekend rocked pretty hard, in case you were wondering. I went tubing for the first time. I put my lovely brown hump in a tube and floated down a river, having no clue what was ahead. There were a few dips, but it was really fun overall. One friend of mine, who I will allow to remain nameless, should have been there. And she was, but she jumped out of her tube as soon as the rest of the crew had floated just beyond a point where we could do anything to stop her. Then she hopped the bus back to the meeting point and took it easy while we faced death on the river for an hour. You couldn't really die out there, well, possibly. But I think most of us felt it was only a possibility if you fell out of your tube. One other friend of mine did fall out of his tube, and, boy, did he throw a fit. I "saved" him, although he had the tube over his head and one arm through the hole and really couldn't have went under again. It's always fun after the fact to see how people look and talk when they think the end is near. Especially when you know it isn't. But he couldn't swim and his feet weren't touching the bottom, so I can relate to the fear. My girl who jumped out of the river couldn't swim either. Regardless, tubing is fun and doesn't require swimming as long as you keep your ass in your tube.

OH! And you can drink while tubing. You're not really supposed to I don't think, but we had rum and cokes. And many other tubers had a tube just for their coolers to float in. Now, alchohol makes tubing more fun, but as you can imagine, it makes it more dangerous if you fall out and happen to be drunk. So, I say drink in moderation. No Patron and tubing. I'd say beer is a safe bet.

There were many rocks in the river I was on, and it wasn't until you bumped all up on one that you could see these creepy grey crickets that were covering the rocks. They were fearless little bastards and would jump directly at you for invading their space. I even hear that if a man were to pee on them, they may jump at his manhood. This sounds crazy, I know, but these crickets were kinda strange in appearence and behavior. And like I said, there was rum involved. My question is, why stand up to piss in a river?! LOL. You're ass is already in water. lol. But, I mean how much sense could these crickets have in those miniscule little heads of theirs? They probably jump just because and without looking where they're going. What was I talking about? Oh.. go tubing some time. [the picture above is of the river I was on, but I'm not in it. I actually don't know those ppl at all. It's not my pic, but that's where I was. And do you know that people were climbing those mountains in the background? They're crazy.]

Now, since I can tell from our last chat that people LOVE to HATE the shit I watch on TV.. I will now discuss a new show I saw last night. Ahem,

Did anyone catch the show, "How To Get The Guy" on ABC? I watched, not that I have problems in this category, but I'm thinking hey, I'm back on the dating scene again and could always use some tips. They take four educated, good looking women and try to help them meet "THE" guy, not just a guy, but a single, non-gay man in San Francisco. They give them tips on how to meet and also make them date in volumes. Shit, I already knew that. Like one of my girls said once, "dating is like shoe shopping. You have to try on lots of pairs to find the right one."

Anyway, I'm not sure how I feel about the show yet. I just thought it was interesting that they broke the four women into different personality groups like "The party girl" " The girl next door" "the career girl" and the fourth I forget. The one thing that I learned last night is that in order to get the guy that I want, I need to be within four feet of him and I need to smile and make 4 seconds of eye contact. No more! Then if I'm really desperate and he's ignoring me, I should ask a question. I'll share more tips when I get them, next week.

Now, go on about your B.I.