A hell of a week

Look, I rarely care to talk about myself, but I need to share. Are you listening? What I just say?

Okay, so my week basically started on Friday of last week when I went on a business trip and had the pleasure of sharing a hotel room with my boss. Meaning, you wake up to questions about work. While I've shared rooms with bosses in the past, never have I slept in the double bed on the other side of the lamp. This was new. I took well to the challenge and didn't even realize that it may have taken its toll on me until I returned home on Sunday night. I fall asleep easily enough only to be forced out of my sleep around 6 a.m. by a stress nightmare. Interviews need to be scheduled, flights should be booked, I have another article to turn in.. It was like my deadlines where chasing me in my sleep. What the hell?

So, I go to work on Monday and proceed to bust ass.. only to get a call around 5 p.m. from a neighbor who tells me our apartment building has been broken into. While I'm at my desk slaving away (OK my job doesn't really qualify as slaving), some loser who probably has never paid taxes in his life has broken into my sacred hideaway. I drive frantically home, well, as frantic as it gets in D.C. rush hour traffic. This means I did like 45 MPH all the way home. lol. I get there and the cops are all over the building. They've already went through my things, but I'm free to tell them what's missing. All of my CDs, DVDs, DVD players, jewelry, digital camera.. they're all there folks. What's missing? My laptop. My precious titanium apple powerbook G4.

I dropped to my knees yelling, WHHHHHYYYYYY!!!!!!!! Just kidding, I wanted to though. I just told the cops they stole my laptop. But then there's the embarrasing side of being burgled. The robber went into my boom-boom room and lifted the mattress.. then he went through my underwear drawer throwing my unmentionables on the floor. Including the ones you really don't wear, ladies, but we hold on to them anyway. Why? I don't know. I mean, the elastic is worn, they're just not sexy anymore and you wouldn't want to be caught dead in them for damn sure. Yet, there they are in your drawer and now all over the floor for the world to see. Why? Well, I've decided that all of those undies will be trashed. If that sad day comes where I'm completely out of undies I'll just have to go buy more. The shame of having them laid out in front of strangers and then photographed for evidence files, isn't worth the secruity of having them to fall back on.

Wait, where was I? So I'm all embarrased that the cops are looking at my panties, the house is mess and I'm hoping that they think the criminals pulled my bed sheets back and left them all crumpled. That they think that the criminals left that bottle of Patron on the coffee table. The criminals forgot to vacuum, wash dishes, put away the coffee bean grinder after they used it and left reciepts lying all over the floor. Those beasts!

So, the doors to our apartments were destroyed, cops think they used a crowbar. I had to sleep at a friends house that night. But things are getting back to normal. I'll probably replace my laptop tomorrow. Yes, I have renter's insurance, so I may get some change from them.
Thanks for listening, I feel better.