learning to ride the bus

So, I've been learning to ride the bus since I got to DC more than a year ago. It's hard. The schedules are written in special code and the buses aren't on time so it's hard to know which one is which. The hardest part is knowing which side of the street to stand on to catch the "D8" moving in your direction.

I learned another lesson in bus riding over the weekend.
Rule #42: Never hop on a bus that stops in the middle of the street to let you on.

So, I'm waiting on a bus that should be heading to the train stop less than a mile away. I looked it up on the Metro web site, so I know what I'm looking for. Suddenly a bus with the same number comes rolling by on the other side of the street. I start walking in the direction it's heading just in case there's a bus stop I didn't see. So, the bus driver stops and opens his window to ask me if I need to get on, or something. I ask if he's going to the Rhode Island Metro and he says yes. All he has to do is loop around and he's going right that way. He made it sound like he was about to go around the block and head toward the station. What the hell do I know? This is my first time catching this bus.

So I ask him, "Is that a bus stop?" And he's like, just come on. So he opens the door. There are people on the bus already so I cross the street and get on.

Why did the loop include like 4 stops, the last one being about 2 miles from where I was picked up? Then why did he look at me and say, I just have to pull over and sit for 5 minutes to reset the bus and make sure it takes off on time. I'm like great. I look around and NO ONE else is on the bus. Just my dumb ass. Super!

Then the conversation starts. So, where you heading? Why didn't your boyfriend pick you up? What do you do? blah, blah, blah.

I'm giving friendly but short answers. Meanwhile I'm reading the hell out of a bus schedule like I have a pop quiz to pass later. He eventually says, I'm going to leave you alone. Ahh, relief.
Then he says, I'm not trying to kidnap you. If another bus comes around heading to the Metro you can get on it.

Kidnap? Who said kidnap? Why would you kidnap me? That's when I start to look out of the window into the darkness realizing that I'm the only person on a random bus on a quiet side street and completely helpless. The only thing I have going for me is that bus drivers like their jobs. Plus, dude was harmless.. until he used the K-word.

As if all of that wasn't bad enough. He wraps up his five minute wait with a corny statement like, "Well, it was nice talking to you. It feels good just to pretend I could have a woman like you." WHAT? You were pretending? What a fking weirdo! That's when the last 15 minutes a;; came rushing back to me. He picked me up knowing I needed to go the opposite direction and that we'd be on the bus alone. I even remember him waking up one kid to tell him that we were at the end of the line. On top of all that, the Metro I wanted to go to wasn't the next stop. It was seven minutes away. 7+5+5... hmm wonder how many trips I could have made to the metro from my house in that time frame?
I actually wanted to catch a train to the station that this bus was going to next, but he creeped me out to the point that I didn't want to ride with him anymore. So I get to the train station and had to wait 14 chilly minutes above ground for my train. He nearly ruined my lovely evening! Plus, it was weird.
Don't take favors from bus drivers, folks. That's all I'm saying.

Bus stories have been recurring in my life lately. I should play the numbers.