It's our anniversary, bitches #4

I love Valentine's day and this year was sweeter because everyone really got involved in sharing their thoughts. D.A. dropped science on us... Oh, how I miss his words of wisdom.

D.A. said...

Hmmm ... I don't really have any ideas for a wack Valentine's Day, because I'm a guy. For us, they're ALL bad Valentine's Days. Before you start bitching, let it be known that I'll throw down some flowers and a gift, and I'll even get in the kitchen and whip up a nice meal. I like doing things for ladies. No problem there.

Where the problem comes in is the MENTALITY behind the holiday, or rather what the mentality has become. In my thinking, it should be a holiday in which two people who love each other express said love with small remembrances and some nasty, filthy, depraved sex. That's it. No huge expense, no worries, no ploitics. But here are some examples of what I hear for a month leading up to the Vicious V:
• "If my man brings me some old Hershey's for Valentine's Day, he's NOT sleeping with me that night." Heard this gem on the radio the other day, in a preview for a news spot on good/fancy candy vs. the regular stuff. And by the way, the bitch saying it sounded ugly and country enough that this probably wouldn't be a problem for her man. He's probably on his way to The Dollar Store right now, solely for the purpose of NOT having to sleep with the creature his blushing bride has become.
• "Give her a diamond to show your love this Valentine's Day." W ... T ... F?! No, seriously, WTF?! When in Christ's name did spending too much money on shiny rocks become synonymous with love? Now, not only are we getting stuck with a big engagement-ring bill, we gotta buy one for every fucking holiday some schmuck can come up with? Give me a small break. It's about emotion, folks, not possessions. Unless you consider your woman to BE your possession, in which case you're probably not too worried about what you buy her anyway.
• "If you want to break a grown woman's heart. bring her something from Disney World." Heard this shitball from atsui just a few minutes ago. Ever heard, "It's the thought that counts"? I didn't think so. Look, guys are stupid. Plain and simple, we flatly do NOT know what to get women for gifts. We just don't. We flounder, we flub, we occasionally totally screw up. Forgive us our stupidity as we forgive your complaining about bad gifts.

Oh, and I can't help but notice that the guy posts on here are about screwing up and not getting the "right" thing for some dame, and the lady posts are about how some guy screwed up and didn't get the "right" thing ... or didn't get anything at all ... or is an asshole because he didn't read their mind. (Except for Twiz, that is, who must be a straight-up pimp who has this lady thing knocked. My hat's off to you, my friend.).

In close, let's stop for a minute and think about what this holiday really means to us as people and mates and family and lovers and friends. It means only one thing ... FUCKING. Thank you, and good night.