Puh-lease!
It could be my upbringing, but I seriously doubt it. And I know I have a problem with authority-- nothing documented, just a bubble in the tum when people try to tell me what to do. But I’m honestly having a problem with people asking me to do something and not saying please. And by people, I mean one person in particular, but I think it’s bigger than that person. Here’s why: It’s all about your tone.
Say you’re making dinner and I happen to be in your kitchen. You cut yourself, and say, “Grab a towel!” I’m gonna be like, oh shit, here you go.. are you okay? If your tone is urgent, I can cut you some slack.
If we’re in the kitchen together and we’re both chopping veggies and you say, “Grab that towel!” I’m gonna look at you like, what the hell is wrong with your hands? See, the situation isn’t urgent, there’s time to be polite. Even if you soften it up and don’t use please, “Can you grab that towel for me?” I think please is implied.
In fact, I think questions automatically become commands when people leave the please off. And I’m sure that I have a problem with commands- that’s why I was never cool with the military recruiters in high school. I knew what they wanted; they wanted me to stand around while some jerk told me what to do and called me a maggot and made jokes about my momma. I’ve seen Forrest Gump and 1,000 times. So my point is that there’s ample time for this five-letter word in most situations. I feel that some “people” simply don’t use it because they intend to bark an order. They expect shit to happen when they speak and they know that they forgot the magic word. Now, when you put all of this, just hypothetically, in a work setting… I think it’s just unacceptable. Am I trippin'? Of course, this goes back to the classic work issue of how people handle stress. Or how they use stress as a scapegoat for their rudeness..
Speaking of rude shit that annoys me, can we all take this vow right now? Raise your right hand, please.
I [insert name] do solemnly swear to say “bye,” “peace” or some type of sign off when I’m finished talking on the phone. I understand that this may take up to five additional seconds, but I am willing to sacrifice that time for the greater good of mankind. Furthermore, if I do not have five additional seconds to spare at the end of every conversation, I will wait until I have time to properly address the person I’m contacting.
posted by Atsui_Gal @ 7:44 AM
2 Comments:
I've gotta be honest, if I'm "the boss" I'm not always going to say please and thank you. I guess it's remnants of my military school life, but if I've been designated by some legitimate authority as the person in charge, I am going to tell people what to do. Even if I do use the interrogative or say "please", it's really not a request. At the same time, if you are my boss go ahead.. tell me what to do. That's what you are there for. Don't disrespect me or we may have a problem. I may be an employee of Blah Blah Blah Inc. but I'm a man first. But I don't need you to be nice to me. I need you to clearly state what it is that I am to do, so I can go do it. If it's more than I can handle I'll make that known. If it's something that I don't like then I'll consider working somewhere else.
It's not about being an asshole or disrespecting anyone, but if someone has a problem with me telling them what to do (again, this is assuming I'm in some position of authority) then they probably don't belong on my team. If one of my peers doesn't want to be told what to do by my boss then I don't want to be working very closely with that person. When it comes to work, I'm there to get things done. Well, I'm actually there to get paid but I have a seperate and distinct desire to get my job done well. The clearer everyone is about what needs to be done, the better.
Yo, I agree with kuh lay on getting and giving clear orders. That's crucial. I think it's also a difference of whether you're asking me to do my job or do something outside of the description- like, "take out the trash" versus "do some research on XY&Z."
I mean, my parents are authorities and they NEVER have to say please. Cops don't have to say please and old people never have to say please and I don't even sweat it.. A few months ago I was standing at a stoplight waiting to cross the street and an old lady stuck her elbow out at me and was like "Give me a hand." It wasn't a question or a please, it was a direct order and I was like, "Oh, my bad.." I thought she was funny for coming at me like that. Who told her I was nice?
But seriously, does "please" muck up the message of what needs to get done? Does that make you forget the first part of the sentence. Like, "Oh I'm sorry, I was with you until you said please. What'd you ask me to do?" Would, "Can you make sure this is done by 5?" really be more confusing than, "Finish this by 5." These aren't great examples, but you know what I mean?
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