I don't watch TV

Got an email today. It was one of those party email blasts, but the host gives blog like intros to the party invite. It's cool. I don't mind it. Today he said something that made me stop.. "I don't watch TV." He confessed that he hadn't watched in a year and suddenly some show has him eyeing the boob tube. (Where'd that name come from anyway?)

I've heard many of intellectuals proudly declare that they don't watch TV. (This isn't to say that this dude is an intellectual. In fact, I have nothing else to say about him- he just made me think of this...) Some parents only allow kids to watch a few hours a day and whatnot. This is fine, do what you please. But why do some people wear it like a badge of honor? I like TV, I wish I could watch more of it. Some nights I forget to turn it on for hours, so I know I'm not addicted. It just irks me that some people think not watching TV is morally right or something.

I feel the same way about the "I don't listen to radio crowd." Listen, I know corporate radio sucks ass.. but you have to keep up with pop culture or you'll become a dinosaur. You'll be behind times on lingo and the latest current events. I mean you wouldn't even know to throw D's on your bitch. Or to make it rain on them ho's. You may even think you're irreplaceable!

Here's some things I've learned by watching TV recently. Well, and following up sound bites with Internet research. I was taught a long time ago that if you want the full story, you should read about three articles that cover it from different angles. You'd be surprised what facts are overlooked by media outlets. Anyways...

Pop Culture Pop Quiz:
1. Anna Nicole's baby was on a diet because she's supposed to be:
a. skinny b: sexy c: healthy

2. Tim Hardaway recently apologized for making comments that were:
a. racist b. homophobic c. sexist

3. Bush is SURE about his security info this time. Iran is providing Iraqi militants with:
a. IED's b. EFP's c. road side bombs

(Either way that would make Iran a supporter of Evil Do'ers. Who didn't see this coming?!)

I got stuff to do folks, our I'd continue...
Answers are in comment section.

White Rappers

So my friend RSH has been watching more VH1 than I can stomach. She's had this to say about the White Rapper Show, which I've seen been honestly can't stay tuned to once a commercial comes on.

On the "White Rapper Show", a stylist came in to show the kids how to be "gully thugs". He has styled Busta and Missy, so I guess we're supposed to think he's legit. He said that hip hop style came from people being locked up and not being given shoe laces or belts. Then he said that they took that and made it into a postive.

I'm so sick of people saying that people made something positive!

Seriously who sat and thought, I'm going to start dressing like my locked up homies so that I can honor them? Or did they think, I'll have my pants droop off my ass so that when my homie gets out he feels like he never left?

Funniest part was that one dude pointed out that before the makeover he had on shorts that almost came to his ankles (like jean man capris) with a black t-shirt. After the makeover, he had on shorts that almost came to his ankles with a black t-shirt. Oh...they added a white bandana.

These cats are getting punked. What do they really think winning is on this show?

Dear Tomorrow, please hurry!

So, last year I was all like, "Hooray for Valentine's Day!" This year I'm all like, "Whoop-di-fuckin'-do, it's Valentine's Day." I'm finally walking in the shoes of the V-day sour pusses, and just as I had guessed, it's a result of not having a valentine's day date. Technically, I do have a Valentine, but no plans for tonight... so why am I complaining? Well, that's what I do.

OK, here's why we should fast forward to tomorrow: A. Chocolate will be on sale.
B. I can go back to really enjoying the single life.

This day has a way of alienating people who are normally very happy and satisfied with being alone. I look at the holiday, still my favorite, a little differently now. I used to think it could do no wrong, but now I see. It can be a little...mmm, taunting.

A hell of a week

Look, I rarely care to talk about myself, but I need to share. Are you listening? What I just say?

Okay, so my week basically started on Friday of last week when I went on a business trip and had the pleasure of sharing a hotel room with my boss. Meaning, you wake up to questions about work. While I've shared rooms with bosses in the past, never have I slept in the double bed on the other side of the lamp. This was new. I took well to the challenge and didn't even realize that it may have taken its toll on me until I returned home on Sunday night. I fall asleep easily enough only to be forced out of my sleep around 6 a.m. by a stress nightmare. Interviews need to be scheduled, flights should be booked, I have another article to turn in.. It was like my deadlines where chasing me in my sleep. What the hell?

So, I go to work on Monday and proceed to bust ass.. only to get a call around 5 p.m. from a neighbor who tells me our apartment building has been broken into. While I'm at my desk slaving away (OK my job doesn't really qualify as slaving), some loser who probably has never paid taxes in his life has broken into my sacred hideaway. I drive frantically home, well, as frantic as it gets in D.C. rush hour traffic. This means I did like 45 MPH all the way home. lol. I get there and the cops are all over the building. They've already went through my things, but I'm free to tell them what's missing. All of my CDs, DVDs, DVD players, jewelry, digital camera.. they're all there folks. What's missing? My laptop. My precious titanium apple powerbook G4.

I dropped to my knees yelling, WHHHHHYYYYYY!!!!!!!! Just kidding, I wanted to though. I just told the cops they stole my laptop. But then there's the embarrasing side of being burgled. The robber went into my boom-boom room and lifted the mattress.. then he went through my underwear drawer throwing my unmentionables on the floor. Including the ones you really don't wear, ladies, but we hold on to them anyway. Why? I don't know. I mean, the elastic is worn, they're just not sexy anymore and you wouldn't want to be caught dead in them for damn sure. Yet, there they are in your drawer and now all over the floor for the world to see. Why? Well, I've decided that all of those undies will be trashed. If that sad day comes where I'm completely out of undies I'll just have to go buy more. The shame of having them laid out in front of strangers and then photographed for evidence files, isn't worth the secruity of having them to fall back on.

Wait, where was I? So I'm all embarrased that the cops are looking at my panties, the house is mess and I'm hoping that they think the criminals pulled my bed sheets back and left them all crumpled. That they think that the criminals left that bottle of Patron on the coffee table. The criminals forgot to vacuum, wash dishes, put away the coffee bean grinder after they used it and left reciepts lying all over the floor. Those beasts!

So, the doors to our apartments were destroyed, cops think they used a crowbar. I had to sleep at a friends house that night. But things are getting back to normal. I'll probably replace my laptop tomorrow. Yes, I have renter's insurance, so I may get some change from them.
Thanks for listening, I feel better.

Did you know Obama was Black?

So a friend told me over dinner this week that the talking heads were saying Barack Obama's appeal in the African American community isn't strong because his blackness is questionable. I was like, girl, that's just crazy. Everyone who cares knows he's a black guy. If you know enough black folks, you know we come in like every single shade and that even having one black parent is enough for us.

Then this morning I'm watching my favorite morning program "Good Morning America." I know that some people prefer the younger, hipper NBC morning show, but I just feel off-centered when I watch them. I feel like I may forget to make the coffee or feed the cat if I don't have my familiar friends there. But that has nothing to do with this. This morning they had George Stephanopoulos on, another reason why I like ABC news, and he was covering the comments by Senator and President hopeful Joe Biden. You've probably heard that he said:

You got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.

So, George makes some great points like "articulate and bright" are seen as backhanded compliments to black Americans and that Biden's implied that every other black presidential candidate wasn't clean, articulate or bright. Surely he didn't mean that. Poor baby. Barack's camp put out this written response today:

"I didn't take Senator Biden's comments personally, but obviously they were historically inaccurate. African-American presidential candidates like Jesse Jackson, Shirley Chisholm, Carol Moseley Braun and Al Sharpton gave a voice to many important issues through their campaigns, and no one would call them inarticulate."

So George sums up his "articulate" report, by saying, "This may actually work in Barack's favor because many black voters don't know he's black." (Well, I shouldn't quote George because I wasn't taking notes, but that's basically what he said.) I paused from my lotioning process (Who do I have to sleep with to get some quality lotion in the winter? Jeeze!) to make sure I heard what George was saying. But then I shook it off like, how silly. Until, another homey hit me up on myspace, like, did you hear what I heard??

At last, it seems to be the case that for some strange reason the media thinks that black folks can't identify their own. lol. In the U.S. where race is, sadly, of the utmost importance, they seem to think that this dude isn't black enough for us to recognize. Could it be that he's so "articulate" that he's damn near camoflaged? It's sure as hell not his skin tone, I know TONS of black people lighter than that. It couldn't be his black wife, or their picture on the cover of Ebony magazine. A white mother? Most people could care less if one of your parents aren't black. Man, the only assholes who don't know Obama is black probably don't know who the hell he is.

Unless, the real discussion here is that African Americans don't know that he's African American. Maybe that's a concern for some. That's the only thing I can think of that makes sense. But I was just joking around a few weeks ago when I was saying that he's not gonna be black enough or American enough for the presidency. Damn, that's crazy. He can't get a break.

Here's another slip of the lip by Biden.