Blackie
When I was a kindergartner I had a best buddy named Shannon. If I think hard I can remember her last name, but it doesn't matter. Shannon rode the school bus with me and lived in the same neighborhood. We'd debate over whether I was black or brown. She'd say black, I'd argue brown. I mean, duh, can't you SEE my color? One day we were coloring on the bus and a brown crown rolled over and stopped by my hand, boom! I proved that I matched the crayon and Shannon couldn't deny it. Later during that school year she got into lots of trouble for using the N-word in class.. So, at last, while she may have believed I was brown, another black kid in class fit the description of a nigger, a word that she told our teacher she had learned from her dad.
Debating over skin tone is stupid and childish. Black is a race, not a skin tone (5-year-old me didn't know that. Shannon was right). Yet, the jokes prevail...and finally dark Americans embrace derogatory nicknames like Smoke and Black. It can be cute, now that dark skin people are "in style." But when an old-school person calls you "Blackie," as a superior in my office did earlier today, you know exactly what it means. When someone calls me "dark meat" or "blackie" I can only assume that you subscribe to the belief that black is ugly and problematic. This older black person went on to question whether I've been hanging out in the sun. I said, yes. I've been to the beach lately. Really? What beach do you go to? I share the locations and think the convo is over. Then a few seconds later, "So you actually sit in the sun?" Um, yes, I replied. I have a summer complexion and a winter complexion and I love them both. Why do I have to justify this?
I haven't given two shits about my complexion since, well, puberty. It never held me back and as people matured it wasn't much of an issue. Of course, I did have ignorant family members asking me to stay out of the sun as if I'd ruin myself for the entire summer by tanning. Anyone who grew up on the dark side, and caught hell for it, knows that it takes maturity on your part to realize that beauty comes in every shade. I'm over it. The sun is my friend. Then comes this dinosaur calling me blackie and implying that I must be crazy to sit my black ass in the sun. Well, fuck you! That's what I would have said if this person didn't have the power to make me broke. Luckily I have experience taking direction from ignorant leaders... I should put that shit on my resume. Speaking of my resume, I won't even go into how very unprofessional it is to throw around these types of comments in an office setting. I think that goes without saying. Beyond that, if black is ugly what else is it? Stupid? I can't help but wonder how this perception affects this person's opinion of me and other dark skinned employees.
The major problem with this type of ignorance is that it really heats me up. I was sitting at my desk fuming looking for IM buddies to talk to for at least an hour.
7 Comments:
Both "Black" and "Smoke" have always been cool nicknames in my book. I've never noticed them being used in derogatory ways but maybe I wasn't paying attention.
As far as the whole Light vs. Dark thing goes... I don't mean to sound dismissive because I know it's still an issue in some ways but damn.. is that shit still around? Woorrdd?
I mean, we all know where it comes from. How is it that we can get past the hyper sex drive shit and drop the low IQ shit along with the phrenology and all that, yet we still hang on to the light-skin vs dark-skin, good-hair vs bad-hair, field nig vs. house nig bullshit?
Sometimes I really believe the only way we're gonna get past some issues is for previous generations to just die off.
I never thought much of "Black" and "Smoke" until a friend of mine, who's darker skinned, said that she doesn't want to call her boyfriend by his nickname ("Black") because it comes from the fact that he's dark. She just wanted to call him his gov't because she didn't really like the fact that those nicknames, as delectable as dark chocolate may sound, derive from your skin tone. She admitted that while she answers to them, she didn't like it. Why? Because black has a negative connotation.
well a few weeks back there was a discussion about tanning in my office. i nodded in a agreement with someone. then my boss asked me (with astonishment) if i can tan because she always that black people were born as dark as they can get. (mind you, she already asked me the previous summer if i could tan when i took off for miami beach)
i'm just tired of fielding 2nd grade questions from 40 year olds. when you're young and inquisitive you can get away with that, but now it's just some bullshit.
I think that the general rule for professionals is that you don't discuss sex, religion or politics in the office. It's because you don't know where people are coming from and what nerves you may strike unknowingly that could cost you a promotion or your job.
I'd like to add stupid complexion comments to the list. It's too easy to rub someone the wrong way.
I remember sitting in on a convo between two white co-workers and the mother of one of them. One complained about how white and pasty she was and mom told her that milky white skin is the shit, in so many words. I was like, "gross," in my head. Then I started to wonder (not care) what she must think of black skin if milky white is the best shit in the world. Sigh... Just avoid it.
Previous generations dying off is a viable option I think. But even still, the complexion thing is still complete puzzlement to some people. I was having a discussion with a light-skinned friend and an older white gentleman kept asking her what she was mixed with. Although she insisted that both her parents were black, he was like you're too light to just be black. It's like, must we get into the history about why blacks come is all shades and are the only race in the world that doesn't know their true ancestry?
That whole can black people tan is a new one to me? Did your boss notice a change in your complexion when you got back from vacation? That just sounds crazy. Because you're born with darker skin, are you supposed to forego playing in the sun?
On a different, but related topic. My African co-worker asked me what kind of accent I had today. So I tell him I suppose New Jersey. He then says, if I were talking to you on the phone I would never guess that you're African-American. I would have thought you were white. He then waited for a response. Was I supposed to say thank you to that or something? I've gotten this talking white thing my whole life, but it still surprises me sometimes.
Um, I think ALL black people are in agreement that there's one time to "talk white" and that's at work, in interviews and when complaining to customer service. Only a foreigner would be surprised by that. Now, if you take that voice beyond the business call that's a different story.
ooh, that "talking white" thing irritates the hell out of me. i've gotten that from dudes that are trying to kick it. as if telling me that i talk like a white girl is earning you any points. (especially when i know you're history of dating white girls, so i'm guessing it's not something that irritates you...just something you're pointing out for no reason).
i'm also irritated by strangers being ballsy enough to ask you what your heritage is. your hair is straight, your skin is light..."what you got in you"?
nunya!
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