It's our anniversary, bitches #2

Man, this is fun. We'll have to do this again sometime. It was HARD picking number two.. Not that this is about quality or how much I like a comment, but I had to face the fact that there's no more room for more. I know I'm forgetting something.. Anyway, the point is that MBT is the shit because of the bold people who share their crazy anecdotes and "deep" thoughts.

ritchie five said...

Dear MBT,

I have recently come face-to-face with obesity, too. A friend of mine just moved into a house in Greensboro. It's one of these very big, very old, very "Bohemian" houses. The kind where people who don't shower often rotate in and out of rooms with regularity. (For the record my friend showers; she is very clean.)

One of the itinerants of the household is a very large woman. Very, very large. Like you, I do not have issues with large people. They do their thing, I do mine, and we meet from time to time at life's buffet tables. However, this large woman has crossed a line with me, because she is "a toucher." Yes, she enjoys "the touching."

When she talks to me she likes to touch me on my arm with her hand, or on my hand with her hand, or even on my both hands with her both hands. I'm generally not down with unsolicited touching, but hers is especially problematic because her hands are gelatinous (like gelatin) in nature. Also once I watched her scratch between her stomach-fat folds and then touch my hand with her hand. Oh and I nearly forgot to mention, there are distinct odors emanating from said fat folds.

I don't want to be rude. Should I start wearing a "Don't touch me fatty" T-shirt? I need advice.

Signed,
Now I hate gelatin

P.S. Once I honest-to-god saw her smuggle a box of saltines into a bar and eat them all. This is not a joke.