Militant Black Toast

By Any Means Necessary

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Model behavior

Man, I'm so thrilled that someone somewhere is finally saying something about these sickly models strutting their skeletons down the runway. In Madrid, Spain they banned maybe five models from Fashion Week because they didn't pass a body mass test, they had to have a BMI of 18. They're requiring that doctors come in and weigh models and if they're not healthy enough they have to sit out. Hooray! They're actually worried about the image that the models are portraying.

I heard that at New York's fashionweek people gasped at the sight of some of the thin models. They said they could count their ribs and that their knee caps were larger than their calves. Most folks in the fashion industry are thrilled about the movement, but London refused to follow Madrid and ban sick models during their fashion week. The incident that sent Madrid's fashion community over the edge? A 22-year-old model died after eating "little more than leaves" for months. Dawg, that's ridiculous. Who eats leaves? Hopefully we're talking lettuce and stuff. But why eat at all in that case.

My favorite quote from the articles:
"We demand a health certificate for all our models," said Guido Dolci, president of Assem, the association of modeling agencies in Milan. "There are 1,200 models working this week, and I challenge anyone to find a single certified anorexic."


Whateva man. They may not be certified by your doctors...

In related news, I hear that the CW sent a memo to Tyra Banks asking her to lose weight because she's not representing the thin supermodel size that she's asking her contestants on ANTM to achieve. But I believe this is total horse manure.. Why? Because this site mediatakeout.com reported it.. They've always "learned" something from a friend or secret source. And it's always completely false. I swear they just sit around the office making stuff up. In fact, it's probably some guy sitting around in his mom's house making stuff up. Anyway, it's juicy. And then it gives people like me "rumors" to discuss. So maybe there's no shame in actually starting the rumors.

Anyway, I enjoy watching ANTM for some reason. But Tyra tries to keep the girls healthy and I remember her sending one girl home because she sent the wrong message to other wannabes. At the same time, she'll give chicks the speech if their weight gets out of hand, by top model standards. They have to strike a balance. I remember Ms. Jay called one girl a clothes hanger, and it was a compliment. Like "I love her! She's like a clothes hanger..." Well if the fashion industry needs sticks to hang clothes on, why not just look to the robotics industry to develop a clothes hanger that glides up and down the cat walk? Good question, I'll tell you why they don't. It's because the purpose of the cat walk is to see the designs in action, as they would look on a person. Now, how can I decide if I want the clothes if the people wearing them look like stick figures? They've definitely gotten carried away and I'm glad to hear someone's finally saying enough is enough.

And those poor model babies.. Seriously. These chicks make big dollars for a day's work and can't even EAT!!! What the hell are you working for? They need this change more than the impressionable girls watching them.






Friday, September 22, 2006

Silly Grey...



Hey does anyone watch "Grey's Anatomy"? Doesn't matter, I can catch you up. The new season premiered last night and Grey is the main character. She's had a relationship with a surgeon that was separated from his wife because she cheated on him. Last season his wife returned (also a surgeon or doctor in the hospital) and he decided to work things out with her instead of starting or continuing his relationship with Meredith Grey. So, the season finale was action packed, people died and got shot and all this stuff, but Meredith also hooked up with McDreamy again. McDreamy is what they call the married surgeon dude. Long story short, they finish consummating their love and Meredith can't find her panties. You know men are never any help in these situations, so he can't find them either. Another staff member runs in the room as Meredith was getting dressed and tells her there's an emergency and she's needed. This chick now knows the slept together. Meredith never finished looking for the undies.. Who does? McDreamy's wife. What does she do with them? Post them on a board under "Lost and Found."

So, that's next week's episode. But this week was major for fans because McDreamy finally came to Meredith and told her that he loves her and wants to be with her. I guess he's ready to leave the wife, besides he threw his wife out in the rain in the middle of the night when she cheated on him. He threw all of her clothes on the steps, it was serious.

So, of course there's a only-in-Hollywood twist to the story. Another guy Meredith is dating knows something happened between her and McDreamy while he was hanging out with her at the hospital and this dude is still trying to get with her. ONLY in Hollywood. "Yeah, I think you may have had sex with your ex while we were together on a date, but if there's a ring, my hat is in. Pick me!" Yeah right!

It just gets me to thinking, why the hell would Meredith- a very smart girl who can cut people open and save lives- want to get with this dude that cheated on his wife twice? He's still not officially divorced and wasn't when he hooked up with her the first time. (Of course they didn't know that they'd both be working at the same hospital at the time.) I'm guessing the only reason they'd stay together would be to justify their behavior. (Although, she was innocent the first time she slept with him, she was wrong for the last time.) What happens if Meredith and McDreamy get together and another hot attendee blows into town?

I've never dated or done anything else with a married man (that I know of) but if I did end up liking one... don't see how, but let's just say I did. Naw, I wouldn't. OK but my advice to people who do is to not sleep with him until the divorce papers are signed. Unless you just like married men, in that case go nuts. But here's the thing, all they want is sex on the side of their marriage. That's why they're dating, they're not looking for love or more responsibility than they already have. Most are never going to leave their wives, although their wives may leave them. They could fall in love like McDreamy has, but that still won't be enough for them to say, "I can't take this double life anymore! I don't want two vaginas and two women loving me! I want only one!" When Meredith slept with him the second time she completely played herself. In real life this dude would take his happy ass right back home and make up with the wife... but since this is Hollywood, they may live happily ever after.

One more thing:
Did anyone else hear that Sandra Oh's Character Yang is Jewish? This is just new to me, the Jewish/Asian thing. But I did some very brief research and found another blogger who was thrilled because she's Asian-American-Jewish and never thought she'd be represented on TV.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Reusable paper bag


So I support these organic food, vegetarian/vegan-friendly, tree-hugging markets because I believe their food is fresher. I went to one the other day to get some lunch. I had one item in hand and dude was like, would you like a bag? I said sure, I'll take one of those plastic bags right there. He was like, "Well... I have a paper bag right here that you can have." In this tone, that implied it was the correct answer. So, I was like... hmm paper is better for the environment, I'll take it.

Then I'm reading the bag while I'm eating lunch and it's all like "Reuse Me" and gives this speech about how it's already been recycled once. I'm thinking to myself (not talking to the bag) "What the hell am I going to reuse this for?" Like it's still sitting on the floor in my office because it's guilted me into not throwing it away without recycling it. But what would I do with this bag? Paper bags are stupid. They get wet and can't be reused. Plastic bags, now those are reusable, you can wipe them out and crunch them up and store them. I could have held my lunch in one, then brought it home and added it to my plastic bag collection. Some bags I use to take lunch to work, some I use to throw away kitty poo, others I can take on vacation and hold swimsuits or dirty clothes in them... Can a paper bag do any of that? Not as well as a plastic bag...

I guess my point is that I don't really appreciate this dude's attitude that he gave me about wanting plastic.. don't I have the right to choose? Then he gives me this bag printed with all this propaganda. Everyone knows that people love plastic. If we give paper a chance, we don't need a damn speech. That's preaching to the choir. Do real grocery stores even have paper bags any more? I don't notice them and that's because they're just not so reusable. And you can't carry like 8 at a time. You can only carry about 2 paper bags at a time, most don't even have handles.

OK, I'm done.. just saying that paper bags aren't as reusable as they may seem.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

What it do...

Hey peeps,
I miss chatting with you and I'm trying to catch up with the comments. One thing I wanted to share was this info I got today from a homey of mine on myspace. We went to school together and he lives in Houston, where coincidentally hip-hop also dwells. It's the birthplace ( I think) of this catchy-ass phrase "What it Do?" Paul Wall says it ALL THE TIME. And now people use it as a greetings, hey, What it Do? So, my buddy asked me this and I was like, "honestly dude, I don't even know how to answer that one." It's the first step into aging, you loose understanding of slang. I'm still cool as a polar bear's toenails, but my little nephew recently pointed out that the only person he knows who says "cool beans" is his Nana. I held back the tears and vowed to never say "cool beans" again. lol.
Anyway, my boy sent me a list of appropriate responses to the burning question "What it do?"

Proper Responses.

It's Done
I'm doing it
I'm making it (As in I'mma make it do what it do)
or Not a damn thing
Now you know.. Another piece of Houston slang that I picked up on recently was keeping it a hunid. That's keeping it real in Houston, one hundred (percent). Used in a sentence: "So, make long story short, I thought dude was gonna keep it a hunid with me, and he just fucked me out of my money." Lil Flip put me up on this in an interview. He also informed me that H-town has upped the percentages because, let's face it people- you have to keep shit EXTRA real these days. If you're not real, you're not even living. Am I right? You're like an inanimate object. lol. So anyway, Flip says that they've changed it to 1000. You have to keep it 1000 with people in Houston these days. FYI..

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

A.I's Mama keeps it real...

You can't change your mama, so don't even try. It's a good thing A.I. also believes in keeping it real and didn't try to go to Georgetown and get a law degree or some shit like that.. This lady seem like she'd be fun to hang out with. This is footage of her hanging at the NBA All-star weekend in Houston this year.

Remembering the day war got easier...


Did anyone listen to my favorite president's address to the nation last night? I must admit, my attention wavered after a few minutes but I started out really listening. What I got out of it, is a new definition of terrorist. This is funny because I just had a convo about the definition of terrorism and how it's been changed since 9/11 over the weekend.

Bush said:
Since the horror of 9/11, we've learned a great deal about the enemy. We have learned that they are evil and kill without mercy -- but not without purpose. We have learned that they form a global network of extremists who are driven by a perverted vision of Islam -- a totalitarian ideology that hates freedom, rejects tolerance, and despises all dissent. And we have learned that their goal is to build a radical Islamic empire where women are prisoners in their homes, men are beaten for missing prayer meetings, and terrorists have a safe haven to plan and launch attacks on America and other civilized nations. The war against this enemy is more than a military conflict. It is the decisive ideological struggle of the 21st century, and the calling of our generation.


So if you blow shit up with high-tech bombs, but you don't believe in Islam, you're not a terrorist. The speech left no room for terrorist to not be Muslim or to be from any where other than the Middle East. When he talked about the brave souls on Flight 93 he mentioned that they recited the 23 psalms before they stormed the cockpit. That's fine, but I think he's saying it at that moment to point at that this is a war of Christians against evil extremist Muslims. The more you believe in Christianity, the stronger you are. And by the way, in case you missed it Bush wants to the war to be over too.

America did not ask for this war, and every American wishes it were over. So do I. But the war is not over -- and it will not be over until either we or the extremists emerge victorious. If we do not defeat these enemies now, we will leave our children to face a Middle East overrun by terrorist states and radical dictators armed with nuclear weapons. -Dubya
So, stop your whining. Try picking up a weapon and chasing down an extremist. I think this means that America has to kill all extremists and then teach their children to love McDonalds, MTV and low-rise jeans before the war is over. I wonder if this can be resolved before the 08 elections??

The best part of this speech that should have been about remembering 9-11 victims, is that now every Democratic candidate who had the balls to oppose the war, needs to either get down with the war on terror -which includes the war in Iraq- or admit they're willing to leave our children in a world ran by mean radical dictators with nuclear weapons. ... Um, so we took Saddam out of power, who's left? We've ignored N. Korea repeatedly.. Well, we're considering slapping sanctions on N. Korea as of TODAY. They've already started testing weapons! So, any radical dictator outside of the Middle East can have weapons of mass destruction and we can be safe without going to war with them? Interesting.

Friday, September 01, 2006

It's our anniversary, bitches #1

So, anniversary month is over -it ended yesterday. I've had this comment in the back of my mind all month. I'm not sure everyone got to see it, which is unfortunate because Mcvay probably missed a deadline at work while crafting this. Then Twiz had to get in on the conference call and "co-author".. thanks for the time spent, guys. This is my number one.

Oh, the background is that this is a response to a post called "Sick Ass Dudes" on July 11, 2006. These college guys turned themselves in when they found out that a girl they allegedly raped (but thought they were just running a good old fashion train on) was well under age.. like 11. Once we established that they're idiots for not recognizing an 11 year old, someone (maybe me? maybe RSH?) asked what guys get out of the whole train experience.. Why the train?


mcvay said...

let me try to explain here
NOW before I say anything I want to say we are speaking theoritcally here...

First.. when we say "train" also referred to as a "triz" we are thinking of w/me and 1 other dude. 3 swords and somebody ends up gettin cut up! That 7 person shit is just a sick n depraved form of male bonding...Just something to say you did and laugh about w/the otehr 6 guys later (these guys will do their laughin in Calif federal penetentiary).

I dont know what the aura is about the triz...but u mention the prospect of one to even your MOST chaste of male friends and their ears will perk up (in the company of men of course...we'll front for the women unless we REAL kool w/u). Its not something you HAVE to do or even need...but u kinda like...well shit we can both hit? Its like a thrill seeking moment, its a once in a lifetime opportunity..sort of a bonding moment as well...Like we said its not something u HAVE to do...but if the opp presents itself u kinda like well I might as well see what its all about...it might suck but it could be dope? I mean u dont have to see Haleys comet..but if u have access to a telescope and it is making its way through you damn sho goin to take a peak. Because u never know how amazing it could actually look in person So curiosity def plays a role. Also in these things its not neccesarily just the guys that are pushing. Some girls are willing and able participants.

A train is like near the peak of the sexual mountain for a guy (only below a menage)...but on the other hand it sometimes leaves the girl demoralized which aint the hotness...On one hand the guy is like ...im bout to have sex w/NOOO attachments...but on the other hand things could go too far or she could feel she was taken advantage of the mornin (b/c generally massive amounts of alcohol are involved)...on one hand u feel silly standin buck nekid in a room waitin yo turn...but on the other hand...the nutt u bout to bust is goin to feel a tad better than rubbin one off yourself...Its real convoluted...

I don't know honestly how more than a 3 guy 1 girl train works..dont know how 7 dudes do the same girl b/c by guy #4 she has to be a mental wreck and it means the other 3 just ignored the signs.

did that explain trains?

7 guys beating an 11 year old...ewwww

* comment co-authored by Twz

It's our anniversary, bitches #2

Man, this is fun. We'll have to do this again sometime. It was HARD picking number two.. Not that this is about quality or how much I like a comment, but I had to face the fact that there's no more room for more. I know I'm forgetting something.. Anyway, the point is that MBT is the shit because of the bold people who share their crazy anecdotes and "deep" thoughts.

ritchie five said...

Dear MBT,

I have recently come face-to-face with obesity, too. A friend of mine just moved into a house in Greensboro. It's one of these very big, very old, very "Bohemian" houses. The kind where people who don't shower often rotate in and out of rooms with regularity. (For the record my friend showers; she is very clean.)

One of the itinerants of the household is a very large woman. Very, very large. Like you, I do not have issues with large people. They do their thing, I do mine, and we meet from time to time at life's buffet tables. However, this large woman has crossed a line with me, because she is "a toucher." Yes, she enjoys "the touching."

When she talks to me she likes to touch me on my arm with her hand, or on my hand with her hand, or even on my both hands with her both hands. I'm generally not down with unsolicited touching, but hers is especially problematic because her hands are gelatinous (like gelatin) in nature. Also once I watched her scratch between her stomach-fat folds and then touch my hand with her hand. Oh and I nearly forgot to mention, there are distinct odors emanating from said fat folds.

I don't want to be rude. Should I start wearing a "Don't touch me fatty" T-shirt? I need advice.

Signed,
Now I hate gelatin

P.S. Once I honest-to-god saw her smuggle a box of saltines into a bar and eat them all. This is not a joke.

It's our anniversary, bitches #3

Intl_princess speaks out on her past experiences with Roaches. How I loved the roach stories, man that was great. In fact, I'm going to throw in a story from Mcvay too.. What the hell..


intl_princess said...

When I was little, my grandma had roaches. She was really old and didn't have any toys at her house, so my brothers and I made up a game of who can kill the most roaches with the fly swatter. My mom would get mad and tell us to throw them away when she caught us, but who wants to touch dead bugs? So we would count them up and then sweep them under the refrigerator after she left the kitchen.

I really don't think I could sleep comfortably with bugs in my bed... I think I would feel dirty all of the time

mcvay said...

ROACHES
lol
man im not even a get freaked out by bugs person...so when I was a kid roaches didn't bother me...but since ive grown and realize they are in the pig/blow-fly/rat/pigeon/catfish realm of nastiness seein them kinda makes me bitch up...
I remember my grandma had them bad and when u would cut onthe lights at night
like 50 would b all over the floor...so my 7 year old ass started stompin my ass off slayin bout 15 of them...b4 being yelled at by my pops to stop...he was FURIOUS lol...guess he'd rather hav them alive than hav to stoop down and pick up 15 mushed ones...lol

i wonder is this girls landlord going to do anything...like i can take them in the kitchen
but damn
in the bed???