Believe it or Not

So we're taught not to believe everything we read, especially in tabloids like the National Enquirer. Well, here's one you can believe. Whitney Houston's drug binge. Crack is not too cheap for her now. It's actually painful to think of anyone, much less someone who once had it all, to be locked in a bathroom smoking crack. Several people have said that they've cried at hearing this news, especially people who know it's true. Whitney doesn't need to be the butt of jokes at this point, she needs prayer and help and intervention and water and food and a smack upside the head. But this is just my diagnosis.

The story broke in a London paper and EURWeb covered it with this synopsis:

Whitney HoustonÂ’s crack use has hit a new low, according to her sister-in-law Tina Brown. She says the singer hits the pipe every day, uses sex toys to satisfy herself and has all but forgotten about personal hygiene.

I wonder what using sex toys to sastify yourself has to do with being on drugs. Sounds like a sign of sanity to me. But they say that Bobby's sister Tina broke this story to the media, while the family tried to keep it under wraps. She took a picture of the bathroom that Whitney is held up in and claims that she even put a hole in the wall to keep an eye on the house.

I think the craziest thing I heard in this is, well, the hole in the wall is pretty stupid sounding, but the sister-in-law says that she buys and smokes entire 8 balls mixed with weed and smokes them in one blunt! Um, I'm not really up on the crack game, but I do listen to hip hop. And the little I do know is that 8 balls (A crack expert recently told me, an 8-ball is one-eighth of an ounce (3.5 grams)) aren't to be consumed by one person at one sitting. It's really heartbreaking news and I do hope someone is doing something at that a media embarassment isn't what makes them take action. Now I'm wondering how Bobby Brown can be touring the country and making an album while this is going on at home?

This report makes other "rumors" easier to understand. The media said that Bobbi Christina was living with someone else. What will be interesting is to see how the "Being Bobby Brown" handles this situation, they're filming a second season.

Happy Day

Three cheers for the release of U.S. journalist Jill Carroll!! She said that her people were really cool and fed her Oreos and played Twister. It doesn't seem that they were ever planning on chopping her head off, luckily.

But you know I have to have a problem with something, so here it is:

Again, I'm talking about race. I was recently listening in on a conversation between a black woman and a black guy who dated a Cuban female. She wanted to know if he thought she was Black or White. If he saw dating her as dating in his race or outside. He tried to say that everyone of African descent is black to him. He didn't speak specifically to the female in question, but put it out there. Totally fair, but she kept pressing and wasn't satisfied with the answer.

My problem with this line of questioning is that it's just ignorant and narrow minded. Why does everyone have to be black or white? Can't there be others and can't culture count for something? And the point is that this woman was trying to back him into a corner, where he'd lose either way. If you says she's Black to you-sistas will be angry. If you say she's white to you then you're wrong wrong wrong, now you're dating a white woman (in your mind!). Anyone who forces us to put people in one of two categories is setting society back.

Did you say 8th grade?

OK, you already know what we must discuss. Why did the Sparks son, Nick, take the center of attention on "Black & White" last night? The boy is 16 and has been kicked out of the 8th grade. That's nuts, but I thought this show was about race relations. Why did we watch so much footage of Brian and Nick walking around without makeup and playing.. wait for it.. miniature golf(!). And Nick being scolded by his parents for being stupid took up a portion of the show. The only thing that made that worthwhile was to hear Bruno's Heart of Darkness-esque observation...

I consider it a real privilege to be privy to
parental addressing of a situation via the black
voice. I especially liked when she said "negro"....

So your kids can just go out and waste money on dumb shit, Bruno? (Oh that's right, you don't have any kids.) This is like letting your child say "pissed" just so they feel more grown. OK, Bruno, you can say negro if you want. It's technically not a bad word. I don't know how white moms react to this, but I can't imagine many middle class parents being cool with their kids blowing $160 on something they don't need. I thought it was a great move by the Sparks fam to make him take that watch back, but I really, really don't care to watch that on TV and I don't think it was a black or white issue. I'm just not clear where the producers were going with that. Fuck that, I want to see Renee do something in makeup. We only have a few weeks here!

OK, and lastly, did anyone notice how Bruno didn't catch a single stare or cold shoulder at the country bar when he and Carmen went dancing, but was blown away by the negative energy he felt in that park in the black neighborhood with the drum circle? Both groups used the same nonverbal methods to express their dislike for the couple, yet it was too subtle for him to notice when white people in the bar did it. Like he always says, you see what you want to see. Also Bruno was chatting up the white people in the bar, and I didn't see him say anything to the brothers in the park. Maybe he would have felt less tension if he had said what's up to a couple people at least.. and that outfit didn't help either. Even if he had a sista with him, I think Bruno would have gotten a couple stares.


And I'll leave you with words from Chef's eulogy on "South Park" last night (borrowed from someone's report):

"A lot of us don't agree with the choices the Chef has made in the last few days," one of the children eulogizes him at a funeral. "Some of us feel hurt and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us. But we can't let the events of the past few weeks take away the memories of how Chef made us smile.

"We shouldn't be mad at Chef for leaving us," the eulogy concludes. "We should be mad at that fruity little club for scrambling his brains."

Give these guys an Emmy!

Flavor of Love

Oh, how I love to hate on the "Flavor of Love." I'm equally sad and glad that it's over, this is truly a hard time for me. That's why it's taken so long for me to even bring it up. OK, and I didn't really catch the final episode until Saturday and then I only caught the end.

Couple of Questions:
1. Who thinks that the Flavor of Love probably tastes like a dirty gold chain you've had for years or hot breath with left over food smells?

2. Why does Flave have to tongue these poor girls down on national TV? I wince every time he slobs one of them.

3. Why did he kick the spitting Pumpkin off for chasing TV fame and keep model/video girl Nikki aka Hoopz? She actually has a booking agent and more Web sites than any of the chicks on the show. I'm not mad, I'm actually glad to know I'm right, because I thought she was loving up this man like her rent depended on it.

4. Why does Flave make his chicks wear those yucky grillz? They look so dumb, and I'm from the South so I can say that. Grillz look silly on 95 percent of the people who rock them, especially when they make that face you should only make when you're at the dentist.

5. Did New York sleep with Flave? I missed that if it happened.

6. Why is New York screaming on Flave on her silly My Space page, like we didn't see her dumb ass crying in the limo and telling her mama she was in love?
People always ask me the same things like "How can you love a man like that?", "What do you see in him?" or "You can do so much better!". Well, that is easy to say but in the beginning, I came in to the contest with an open heart and knew it was a great opportunity to get exposure and launch my acting career. As strange as this may sound, I liked Flave's funny, eccentric and quirky personality. He knew how to make me laugh and keep things fun(I can't lie and say I didn't mind the fact that he had money. ..a girl like me needs a sugar daddy to take her shopping! lol). Over time, there was a connection and I slowly grew to love him. In the end, I was very disappointed to see his true character revealed. I realized he was just like the other girls in the house. . .Tacky and very bad taste!
Bitch, please! Not only did I see right through that act, you got beat by a chick who didn't even act like she liked Flave. But once again, I'm right about the bad taste thing, I see.

7. Are we finally done with Flava Flave reality shows?

Say it ain't so!

Was it just me or did "Black and White" fall off a little bit last night? I feel like they're holding something back, but they probably just didn't get much action. I want to know what everyone is doing all week. What the hell is the white mother doing? I've seen her go out as a black woman three times and for very short events. Confused. The white mother, Carmen, was set up by the black mom to wear traditional African garb to church. Luckily, the Wurgels decided not to go through with it. She could tell once she got home that she was being bamboozeled by Renee. I feel sorry for Ms Wurgel sometimes, she can't get a break
(no wonder she doesn't hang around black people, geesh!). This show is so set up that it barely makes sense. I was just reading this article in the LA Times that says the poetry slam group that Rose joined (and revealed her true self to last night) was actually hand picked by the instructors who knew she was really white all along. So, even their reaction to her was bullshit because it wasn't a truly random group of black poets. I knew something was up just based on how advanced they were as poets.. I kept thinking, why is she in the same class with them?

The LA Times article also said that the damn Wurgels aren't even married! First there are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and now this?! And they say Brian (The black dad pretending to be white) was given the job at the bar with no questions asked because the producers told the owner that he needed a job for four days to ask questions for a research project. The bar owners said they're not happy with the results because the show makes it and the neighborhood look bad. I doubt it's hurting their sales. Anyway, I'm gonna keep watching.

Now, I'm watching this "American Inventor" show it's pretty damn good. Although I can't imagine it getting much better than this. There are inventors on there who spent $30,000 - $100,000 on inventions. One dude sold his house!! They're all teary eyed like and flat out desperate. Then there are the duds who are just comic relief with really super stupid ideas. What's silly about this show is that they've applied the American Idol model. There's a British wanker who's rude at times, there's bickering among the judges, and a woman who gets emotional and loves to say "Yes." Um, you want to create a show that rewards and disses people's original ideas, yet you can't come up with an original format for the show? Interesting.

I've posted a picture of Chef from "South Park" because this week Isaac Hayes decided that he just can't stand for the religious intolerance of "South Park" anymore. He's thrown in his chef's hat. The show's creators say that Isaac didn't have problems cashing checks when they picked on Christians and Jews, but as soon as they did an episode on Scientology, the religion that soothes his Hot Buttery Soul, Isaac got all fired up. Isaac says that religion is sacred and as a civil rights activist he just can't support a show that disrespects religious beliefs and practices [or Tom Cruise].

Sucka-free workplace

Tell the truth, the worst part of any job is dealing with that asshole who works with you on a daily basis. The work- you signed up for, the salary- they told you about, the location and everything else was disclosed. But sometimes coming in to work is more painful than watching an episode of BET's "College Hill." The solution is right in front of us all.. telecommuting! My meager salary would stretch further if I didn't have to pay for gas to take me to the office and back daily or buy "work clothes" and pay for lunch. And guess what? When I get to the office, I use the same software and equipment that I have at home. (minus the landline phone thing..)

There's actually a congressman ( Frank Wolf, a republican but I'll let that slide for now) who has made telecommuting his pet project. He wants to penalize government agencies (by hitting them in the pockets) if they don't support telecommuting. He says there's nothing magic about fighting traffic to get to work and sit behind a computer. And here's something else to think about.. every morning I pass accidents, normally fender benders, but yesterday I saw a sad 3-4 car pile up. I personally don't believe in speeding to work. I don't punch a clock and I don't get to leave at quittin time, so I take it easy on the road. But this would cut down on traffic if we didn't all have to rush to work at the same time daily.

This republican dude has a point. It will take forever for the government to effect the private sector where most of us work, but I think corporate culture should change in MANY MANY ways. This telecommuting thing is a no brainer. We should come to "the office" - which doesn't need to be as large or expensive as they are for small companies- just for meetings and major deadlines when people need to work together. I could seriously boil my week down to 3 days in the office and get the same stuff done. According to CNN, the SEC, the State Department, the Department of Justice are required to give employees the option of telecommuting.

Oh, we could have communal offices, like a Kinkos or cyber cafe where you can spend your whole day mingling with people you like! I could telecommute and invite my friends to telecommute at the same place... Wait, this is starting to sound like a less productive day already. OK, only on Fridays.

Of course there's a downside to telecommuting when someone doesn't read or check emails. But overall I think this is a swell idea. I think I'd feel more independent and happy if I didn't have to sit in my assigned seat every day to do things I could do in my bed. Where can I sign up for this?

N-gger, N-gger, N-gger

You ALREADY KNOW what I want to talk about today... Well if it wasn't my favorite subject on TV last night, race and racism in America. Thank You, TV god! So, I know you saw or heard about Ice Cube's show "Black and White" on FX last night. Tons of sprayed on colors made a white family look like the smoothest cocoa-complexioned black people on earth, and a black family look like the most ethnic white people on earth. I thought the white daughter made the most believable transformation. Her complexion was nice.. she kinda looked Indian to me. I like that the black dad got a job in a bar as a white guy. That's going to be fertile ground for him to get his feelings hurt.

I thought the show was decent, I'll watch again. The radio personalities this morning said they didn't care for it. One guy thought it was too scripted and reminded him of Eddie Murphy's sketch where he's a white dude for a day. I think the black dad is very sensitive to racism, which is fine. But this show can set race relations back in the blink of an eye, simply because we're only dealing with 6 people and I think that we want to make them examples of an entire race. All black people aren't as sensitive or aware as Brian. So, I already see the danger in this show. I don't think it can be race for entertainment purposes alone, that's irresponsible.

The most amazing things I saw/heard last night:
1. In a focus group, one white guy said that he's been hard wired to wipe his hands after he touches a black person! Wow. Now, I've had a lot of convos about racism, but I've never heard this shit before. He was upset by it, but he was just saying that it's in him and he can't help it. Honestly, I respect that, I mean, I heard that black people still use leafs to wipe because it makes them feel closer to their ancestors... You don't know whats on those hands. Seriously though, I can sympathize with people who are programmed with some prejudices that they don't beleive in but can't forget. That's difficult.

2. Bruno the white father (who transforms to black) thinks that racism is all in eyes of the beholder. Classic. He's also a first-gen American which I think plays into his disbelief in racism and how much these silly words hurt whether you empower them or not. Bruno LOVES to drop the N-bomb. He just can't WAIT for someone to call him a n-gger. And if you watched when he went into a black focus group as a black man, he was the only person who used the n-bomb. He couldn't wait to wear black makeup so that he could say it, finally!! (that's what I think) And made up a stupid story that I think brought his true race into question. He claimed he'd been called out of his name several times by white people and didn't do shit about it. And worse than that, he said it didn't bother him a bit.

3. The black couple were almost repulsed by each other when they had on white makeup. The wife said something like, "I wouldn't be interested in a man who looks like you.. She barely wanted to kiss and was like "just a peck!" ... While the white couple was cleary turned on by their black makeup. They were glad to kiss and couldn't stop looking at each other. They talked about how good looking and beautiful the other was.

What did you think? My prediction is that these two husbands, (pictured above without makeup) are going to be scrapping by the end.

Homecoming King sans Penis

Last night on the way home I heard about a girl who has won Homecoming King at a Maryland college because she's gay. Jen Jones, 21, is the girl who's more like a boy. She says she didn't even know she was nominated until she saw the ballot, but she did beat seven male nominees for the title. Besides the fact that she's a girl, they say she meets all other requirements because she's very active on campus in sports and student government.. ANYWAY, they took callers on the radio last night. One chick called in and said that she recently became a lesbian (by the way, I think the Maryland-DC area is the mecca for gay black women. Similar to ATL for black men.). She said that she was just waiting to be turned out and it happened recently (congrats), but her point was that some lesbians are more like men then women. She said that her girlfriend wears boxers and makes her call her "daddy" and that's great in her opinion. It sounds like in her mind, her girlfriend gives her that man vibe just without the best part (which she says they can get). If you want a penis and you want a partner who wears boxers and makes you call them daddy, hmm, you sound like a lousy lesbian to me. I'm no expert, but...

I don't know what to think on this. I think if it were a more serious title like Miss America or something it'd be a bigger social issue. I just think it's interesting that she's actually boyish enough to win King and girly enough to go by Jen. She'd probably be neat to meet, obviously people like her. I think she should just enjoy the moment, cause in the end, after the game, no one gives a shit who was homecoming king or queen. Here's a link to an article about it: http://www.fredericknewspost.com/sections/news/display.htm?storyid=47133.

Death for silence

I don't have time to wax poetic about this shit, but I do want to ask one thing. How the hell can you get the death sentence for doing NOTHING?!!! On 9-11 Mussauoi was sitting in a cell minding his own business. Now they want to kill him for not telling "someone" that something was going down? Um, one word for you, Katrina. How many people warned the government that thousands of lives were going to be loss if something wasn't done and how many were saved by that information??? Let's see.. I'm gonna venture to say ZERO.

The government, bless its heart, couldn't prevent a terrorist attack if the terrorists called the White House Hollywood style. I know, I'm probably wrong, but that's what I think based on shit like Katrina and their failure to continue evacuating the towers on 9-11. But I dig America, don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those Americans who think my country is the worst place on Earth, that's just bullshit (read: first-generation American). We had a 9-11 commission report and what Mussauoi did say didn't even prompt the government agencies to beef up security in airports. Plus, we've already established that the lack of communication between agencies was a huge problem. JEEZ Louis! How much contact do they think he had with other terrorist while in custody? If we all plan to get up this weekend and I don't call any of you for like the rest of the week, I wouldn't even know where to meet you guys... I refuse to believe that terrorist chat on three-way like high school girls. I don't think Moussaoui knew enough to truly prevent 9-11. And common sense is that if one of your partners in crime get taken into custody, you'd probably change your plans just in case he tells all. But I don't know shit.

All I know this: I hate hate hate the death penalty and think that there MUST be some rule somewhere that says you can't be murdered by the government for certain things. I'd like to add sitting in jail to that list wherever it may be.

OK, I've gotta roll...

OSCAR WINNERS: THREE SIX MAFIA !!!

Yeah, you heard it right. Here's the place to express your glee over these Southern rappers taking the Oscar home. First, Kanye is the rapper of the year, now this! Just playing, I'm not a big fan but I love Three Six Mafia for what they make happen in Southern clubs. The performance was great, the judging was ON POINT for ONCE!!! I think that some media types kept waiting for them to say or do something upsurd, but I felt that they had good behavior, you know considering.

Oh and YES, YES, YES Crash got the love it deserved last night. FUCK a Brokeback Cowboy. You heard it here first.

Lata

Any damn way...

I'm back.

So, I'm blogging because I'm bored. Which is funny because when I'm busy I wish I had time to do all these things, then suddenly, I'm bored and can't think of shit to do. Weird...

So I developed a top 10 list of things to do when you're bored, to help others who may find themselves in my position some day. Here goes:

10. Blog or develop blog ideas... [note how this is dead last]
9. Call your mom [This is different from calling any other person. Moms talk more and much longer than normal people. Her ability to discuss topics that aren't even an issue in your life make calling mom when you're bored, i.e. no outlet, a fairly desperate measure.]
8. Return phone calls from people you're always "too busy" to talk to [tip: I'm going to do this on the way to shopping and then I'll be those people cell-phone haters hate, who talk on the phone about nothing in public.]
7. Taxes [I did this earlier, then it started to bore me]
6. clean [who doesn't need to clean? I personally choose not to when I'm bored because it doesn't fit my lick-and-promise cleaning style. I like to clean right before people come over, before I cook, or before I go to work in the morning. No time for detailing.]
5. Cook something from scratch
4. Watch more TV movies, which you've probably been watching for hours and hours already [I know I have]
3. Call someone you really enjoy talking to
2. Wash your hair [not so fun for guys, but I usually follow this with a two-hour hair style, like two-strand twists.]
1. Go shopping [exactly where I'm heading next. And a tip for the broke people: Go to a place that only accepts cash, who has cash? Not me. Returning your movie rentals fit in here too.]

So clearly I'm on my last option, blogging..

I bought a roll of paper towels yesterday and today I realized that it's far more than a disposable paper product. It offers words of wisdom like, "Be beautiful, be yourself" and "Gratitude is the real attitude of love" what type of loser listens to a fucking paper towel? What does this roll of paper know about life?

Yesterday while walking, I caught the attention of a passerby who just had to pull over and ask me a question. Did he need directions or loose his puppy? Nope, he just needed to know my name. I gave my favorite go-away answer: "I don't have a name. [now, beat it cocksucker]" that's the inner monologue he can't hear. What am I a $20 prostitute walking the streets in a bubble coat, sweater and jeans in broad daylight? He didn't even have the courtesy to warn me like this other dude who pulled over one night and started with:"I don't want to hurt you, I just want to blah, blah, blah." Thanks for acknowledging that your behavior may lead a woman to fear for her life, as if walking home in the dark wasn't enough.

Speaking of dark, who's afraid? Show of hands. I'll be the trailblazer who leads the way for adults who refuse to live without light. I need light to be comfy, that's all I'm saying. lol

Lastly, the picture above is of Pumpkin, from the Flava Flave reality show on VH1, spitting on New York, the bitch I love to hate the most based on edited footage of her "real" life. This Pumpkin character is pretty gangsta and nastier than drinking after Paris Hilton. Where did she get all that spit from?

OK kids, I'm out.

Please Stay Tuned

Hey peeps,

You may be wondering what's going on and where I've been. Well, unfortunately, I'm having technical difficulties right now. My power cord was in a sudden, rather dramatic accident over the weekend when my laptop tried to commit suicide by jumping off the edge of the bed. Luckily the laptop lived. I'm running on battery alone until I get to the Apple store. It closes at an inconvenient time, there aren't any stores in DC and you have to sit with a "Mac genius" to get any problems solved. Worst case scenario, I have to break my piggy bank and buy a new cord. Now, I know what you're thinking: This is a bullshit excuse! Everyone knows blogging at work is more fun than blogging from home. It's true, you're right. But I have work to do at work and actually feel compelled to do it for the most part..

Anyway, things are great. I'm excited to watch "Lost" tonight. I had a dream about the African cast away Ecko last night. There's nothing steamy to tell, it was just a silly dream. OK, you pulled it out of me. Here's all I remember, I was in a car garage (parking is hell when you don't park in a garage, so it's no surprise that this dream involved parking. In fact, earlier that night I had a pesky parking situation where I parked and started walking only to realize I could have parked WAY closer. My feet were hurting too. So I moved my car only to realize I had NO MORE Cash or change, I had used the last of it in the previous meter. So I had to hit the ATM, go inside and break my 20 THEN pay for the meter.. did I mention I had somewhere to be?) Right, so I'm in a parking garage and Ecko is the attendant. And the best part is that he's still the actor from "Lost." I'm like, "Wow! It's you! I love your show!" um, no questions about why or how he'd have time to work in a parking garage in DC while filming in Hawaii. Then, he's all like, "thanks."But he's looking at me with that suspecting glare that he gives people on the show. And he says he's actually heard of me too! (Now, you know I'm dreaming, because people rarely hear of me.) We had some mutual friend, you know how some things in dreams come across super clear while others sound like "Rabble, rabble, rabble"? Yeah, I didn't catch the friend's name. But I knew who it was in the dream. Anyway, I left him with my keys and that was pretty much it. I was laughing about how very stupid it all was this morning. Does this mean that I'm beyond addicted to "Lost"?

Anyway, I don't LoCell to catch me so I'm gonna run. Do you remember "Low Cell" from back in the day when we all had pagers?!