Catch A Fire

Whatever you have planned this weekend, please make time to go see Catch A Fire starring Derek Luke (Antwon Fisher) and Tim Robbins (Nothing to Lose). Tim Robbins has been in tons of stuff, but Nothing to Lose was so funny.. Anyway, there's nothing funny about Catch A Fire. The film is honestly the best I've seen in 06.. If Derek doesn't get an Oscar nod it will be a tragedy. He completely became this guy Patrick Chamusso, a real guy from South Africa who fought back against Apartheid. Derek never lost his accent and was really moving. His wife was played by this actress Bonnie Henna who is from South Africa and has been acting since age 13. She also put it down.

The movie starts with their wedding and runs through the end of Apartheid. If you don't know about apartheid or can't recall how fucked up it was, this film does a good job of reminding you and it's so important to remember because this shit was going on until like 1991. In fact, there's still plenty more to know about apartheid after you watch the film, it's not a history lesson at all. I remember studying it in school, but don't remember a story that brought the emotions behind it out like this movie does. The film also gives you another view of so-called terrorists, because that's what they called the freedom fighters that tried to end apartheid.

They used a lot of Bob Marley music because his music was really popular in the country at this time. It's not too bloody or violent and it will look and sound better in the theater.
Go go go!

Remember when picking a ring for you phone used to take hours?

I just got a new cell phone and it brings me SO MUCH JOY. It makes me giddy like the moment the sexy boy you've been eyeing hollas at you, or a $10 pair of Banana Republic pants, or free Ben & Jerrys or free bottle service at the club.. I'm talking happy. I can't emphasis how much better I feel now that I can walk around freely without having to recharge my battery every 5 minutes. Plus, I'm a text messaging fool now because I have a QWERTY keyboard and a text messaging package. I can capitalize with ease and add question marks in one swift move..I'm feeling higher than Whitney Houston about my level of connectivity right now.

Plus, I've fallen pretty hard for Verizon's ringback tones. I currently have three at .99 per month. I mean, you can't just let the same song ride forever, right? Trust me I tried and I had to hear people whine about how tired they were of my song. But you've already bought rights to the song for one year, so you can't just let it sit in your box. That's stupid..

But that's not why I'm mad. I mean it irks me a little, but I'm cool with that. I'm mad because I went through my ringtones yesterday on my new phone that brings me so much joy. I have like one suitable ringtone, the others are all beeps or wack "brrring, brrring" style rings. There are like three or four melody rings (including "When the Saints Come Home" and something suitable only for day care workers) and so I went with the same tone I used to have. Something Latin that sounds like the "Sex In the City" theme song. But here's my thing. This fucking phone retails for $400, I paid far less for it of course. Why in Sam Hill does it only come with one damn ringtone? Well, we all know why, because we're supposed to be downloading ringtones. But for real, honestly, I don't want to hear "Miss New Booty" or "Stuntin Like My Daddy" or "I'm Bossy" or any song every time my phone rings -or everytime someone elses phone rings. I just don't. In fact, they know that, which is why ringtones are such a big business. You can't just have one, once you start you'll need one every month. That's 12 a year. And that's before you get the bright idea to specialize rings for your different friends. Can I get one free to get me going? NO!!!! That'd be too convenient. If it's not one thing it's another with these frigging cell phone companies.

Oh, and yesterday one of my coworkers pulled up next to me on the road and was like, hey what are you listening to an iPod? I was like, dawg, this is a headset. I'm on the phone. LOL. He was like, oh. So now I need a wireless headset, because my headset has gone the way of the bag phone it seems. Don't even get me started on that.

Yo, remember the bag phone?!! My momma had one.. lmao.

Bill Bellamy in surgery?

I heard an interview with Bill Bellamy on the radio yesterday morning. He said that he may be joining the "Grey's Anatomy" team in the hospital! He told the Russ Parr morning show that they may see him in surgery... He also a new comedy show coming on TV One and he's touring.. I've never seen him live, but I have seen his movies. And they didn't leave me wanting more. He should be on Def Comedy Jam soon, so I'll have to see what that's about.

But back to "Grey's Anatomy," can this dude fit into the hospital setting? I just hope they don't try to make him act serious.. Any time someone gets shot or a natural disaster hits, Bill should be off duty.

Monday night

So, it's Monday. Hooray! The only good thing about today is that the CW moved "Girlfriends" back to Monday night. I was excited to see this. They also brought the rest of the "soul food Sunday" lineup over to Monday, "Everybody Hates Chris" "The Game" and crappy "All of Us."

I know that some people think "Girlfriends" is a turd of a show and I used to defend it, but they have about one more week before I flush this show out of my weekly viewing schedule. Without Toni Childs the show is kinda wack. Then Joan is going through her awakening period. That's about as entertaining as watching my cat lick his ass. Mya seems to be doing nothing but reacting to Joan, the other character Lynn is supposed to be doing nothing, so that's what she's doing. And there are no men in their lives, minus Mya's husband.... How unrealistic is that? There's nothing wrong with these chicks. Joan, in real life, would at least have some broke cat who is really great in bed trying to move into her mansion and borrow her whip.

Then the character William is engaged to his ex.. Come on, everyone knows William's not going to marry her. That'd be death to his character. I mean, this show needs a boost quick. The writers need to scrap whatever they have planned and throw Joan in bed with William next week. Then they can have his fiancé come in and find them... Then they can deal with the fallout for a couple of weeks. Hell they may want to throw Joan in bed with Lynn! I don't know, but I'm not even stressing tuning in for this mess. Of course, I probably will.

I looked up Jill Marie Jones on IMDB and it looks like she's just doing little movies that no one will watch. She'll find her way, but I think the producers should consider giving her a call. The way the script is written, they can bring her character back from NYC at any point.

I like "The Game," that's a decent show.. I also like "Ugly Betty" on Thursdays and "Six Degrees." With "Grey's Anatomy" in between, that's a good night.

Crusty's gay update

Suddenly, I just felt like embracing the random nickname that I was given on here.

So, the breaking news is that T.R. Knight, who plays George on "Grey's Anatomy" is
gay. I mean, really, is it necessary to make actors admit they're gay? Wouldn't be more surprising if he weren't gay? Not to say that all actors are gay, but much like waiters, hairstylists and flight attendants, I think theater and acting is an acceptable profession for a gay guy. There was a prime example of this in the cinematic goodness that is Team America. Remember that actor they got to pretend to be a terrorist? He had a hard time understanding that the Team America boss didn't want sex from him. Gay love and theater go back like Catholic priests and, well, gay love. It's age old. But I will say that T.R. is believably hetero in his role. But I thought I heard that there will be an alternative hookup on "Grey's Anatomy" this season.. and when I heard there may be a gay romance, I thought it'd be betweeen George and someone. By the way, how wack was it for George's girl to sleep with McSteamy? He's so not hot.

Anyway, in other news.. This teenage girl in Atlanta is on trial for intentionally killing a mother of three while trying to kill herself. She sent countdown text messages to a girl from school saying that she was about to kill herself. Why? Because this chick wouldn't have sex with her. End of her world. Then the dumb ho didn't even die, instead she killed this innocent lady by running head on into her car. And left the woman's 6-year-old daughter, who was riding in the car with her, with broken ribs and other injuries. The suicidal chick only succeeded in breaking her own ankle. Sometimes I wish I believed in capital punishment... Prosecuters are hoping to try her as an adult and get an automatic life sentence. How embarrassing for her family, on top of the sad news that your sister or daughter is suicidal.

How could I forget?!!

I know you folks talked big shit about “Flavor of Love” but I’m willing to bet that no one missed the season finale. I sure didn’t, well I did fall asleep on the official clock ceremony twice. But I saw the majority of the last episode. So the bootylicious Deelishis was victorious. How does that make you feel? I don’t feel anyway about it because I could care less who Flavor Flav dates, but I'm cool with Deelishis. She had the best weave and the best personality. Besides, I was too busy hating on New York to pay attention to homegirl… Flav has admitted that he brought New York back to make his show interesting, as if celebrity pool parties with free lap dances, girl fights and poo poo accidents weren’t enough.

I just couldn’t get over how extra dramatic this girl New York was. I heard she never turns that drama off and that she’s actually a pleasure to be around, because she’s very funny and animated. But it’s like...I just have questions.

1. Why does New York whimper while kissing Flav, as if she’s overcome with emotion. Do guys really believe that shit?
2. Why did she yell out "@&#! me proper!” when they closed the door? Isn’t that actually for TV and not for Flav at all?
3. Who’s Deelishis’s baby daddy?
4. Did anyone else’s crazy radar start beeping when Deelishis admitted to sleeping with Flav’s photo and falling for him during season one? I mean, he’s a 47-year-old man who takes chicks to KFC for candle lit dinners!
5. What’s up with those keloids on Deelishis? I will say that her confidence and success in TV dating should have inspired many young women who live with keloids.
6. I wonder if she ever feels weighted down by all that ass?
7. How long do you really think New York stayed in her room after she told Flav that she wasn’t going to spend then night and before she packed her bag and went knocking on his door?
8. How funny is it that New York sees faults in her mom and basically is a younger, nicotine addicted version of her?
9. Why did New York show her ass, literally??! If you haven't seen this, check out the video below.. What a truck stop hooker!

Splogs

Have you guys heard of these? They're spam blogs. In fact Wired Magazine says about 56% of all English-language blogs are actually just spam. Surely you've ran into them when Googling something. You get to this page and it's a bunch of garbage links to nowhere..

How frustrating, right? But imagine that you take time to write your own blogs and then someone comes in and spams it. We've all seen these spineless wankers posting dumb mess on MBT. Why do they do that? Do any of you click on their stupid links? I try to remove them, but sometimes I miss one or two.

They suck and I wish I could do more about them. I guess I could make my blog one where I have to approve all of the comments, but that's wack. I mean, if I could really approve of these comments then I'm not sure that I'd allow anyone to disagree. I like logging on and finding out that someone disagrees with me, but I don't know that I'd be able to read it privately then decide to post it online. I'd probably be like, "that's a good point." DELETE

So this is a message to the cocksuckers that spam my blog:

Dear Spammy the Jerk,

What will we do with your kind? You're amazingly annoying and very stealthy. I understand that Blogger.com was hosting 100,000 of your kind last year. So, you've successfully embeded yourself in my peaceful community. Well, I hate you and your annoying false posts to my blog.

Sometimes, I log on and see that someone has commented on one of my posts and I get all excited to read it and it's one your stupid ass links. Where the hell do these links go? Who do you work for?

Fuck it, are they hiring? I'd like to be invited to the party. I mean, you must get something out of all these postings. It must be worth the trouble. How much dough are you making, do you have a day job? If you're listening, please let me know. Somtimes in your comments, you say that you were reading my blog and didn't find what you were looking for. Well I hope you're reading this. Show yourself!

I'm not a violent person, but if I were, and all sploggers and spammers worked in an office building together, I'd totally financially support a violent attack. Hell, I may even help pour gasoline around the building. I'd even support Abu Ghraib-style torture for scummy sploggers. How do you sleep at night after you spend your day bothering upstanding citizens who innocently surf the Internet and read blogs?

Eat Shit,

Atsui_gal

At last, something for the ladies

So I was doing some research on Mike Tyson when I ran into this info about Heidi Fleiss starting up a stud farm in Nevada. (Mike reportedly told Heidi that he's interested in putting in some work on the farm, which is an all-male brothel.) But it's not just any old whore house. You know we ladies have different needs, so Heidi's stud farm is going to be an upscale pleasure palace with a spa, marble floors, a sex toy shop and 20 secluded bungalows. The fun starts at $250 per hour and there's no male to male sex allowed. At least it's not for sale.

You know, Heidi's been pimping since pimpin' been pimping. She already did time for her high-class ring of hoes in Hollywood. So, this time she's doing it legally. She's applied for a license and Nevada already has laws requiring STD testing for sex industry workers. Anyway, this is a long way to travel for the D. This will be the first establishment of its kind in U.S. One chick interviewed by Newsweek magazine asked who would drive an hour away from the Las Vegas strip for sex when it's so easy to get right there. Hmm.. Who would want to run $250, plus spa treatments on their credit card for sex?

Who even needs to go through this type of trouble for sex? The only positive I can see out of this is that dude won't be calling you up afterward. (I mean, if that's a concern.) I'd imagine that these women will either be unsatisfied married women or Deuce Bigalow-esque rejects. But I'd really like to get a peek at who they are. HBO is supposed to be filming a documentary about it. And the article I read said that Heidi had received 1,000 applications from wannabe studs by Dec. 05. She had already hired some hunky soap actor to work, now Mike Tyson is interested... If she can sell sex with celebrities for $250 an hour, she might just be in business. I already hear teenage girls saying, "Mom, I thought I wanted breast implants for my 18th birthday, but instead I'd like to go to the stud farm. Kevin Federline is working!"

Jay-Z takes it to another level

I don't really watch football, but I heard that Jay-Z was debuting his new comeback video during half time at Monday night football. So, I tuned in to the game last night to support the illest rapper alive. As if getting a random hip-hop video aired during Monday Night Football in the post-Nipplegate era isn't a big enough coup, the video itself was on another level.

I hear that BET aired this video several times yesterday, but I'm not sure if it was the same one I saw, because the one last night had a heavy sports theme. He was riding in a car with Dale Earnhart Jr. and they were racing that famous female driver, what's her name? Danica Patrick. I was like, hmm that's hot. Jay-Z's NASCAR fans will be pleased. Then the video had lots of football footage edited in, which was aight. I like when they dance in their tight pants. Then there was a sprinkle of sistas shaking their beloved rumps, but not too much. I thought it was.. interesting. Overall the video was hot. But the details were.. interesting. He still had the classic speed boat scene, gotta do that.

Man, I can't hate on Jay-Z cause I like him, but I couldn't help but wonder why taking it to another level means abandoning the culture that brought you to that point. Like, I'm really doing it now! I'm beyond black. I think Oprah has her own race now, and Jay-Z is moving into her realm. (Black or African American, White, Hispanic, Oprah) NASCAR is far beyond the segment of the black community that he once catered to. And I'm not saying that I don't want Oprah and Jay-Z in my group anymore, I'm not kicking them out like that Dave Chappelle race draft skit. I think that you move into another not-black-not-white-like-Oprah race based on how people percieve you and treat you, not on what you do. It's the fact that you can do things other people of your race can't do, like Jay-Z can get a rap video on Monday Night Football and Oprah can tell rich white ladies what to do.

The song is crazy though, and the video was directed by F. Gary Gray who did The Italian Job and Friday. And besides Jay-Z is far beyond his fans of all races. I just wonder how Nas feels about Jay-Z making this massive comeback a month before he drops his new album on Def Jam...

Kiss my juicy brown booty, work

So, I'm currently crushed with work. I'm sitting here at my desk typing vigorously, and I'm like, man I haven't blogged in forever. I was going to do it last night but my fingers and brain were too tired. Then this morning I was all focused on rushing to work so that I can do my part and break out at a decent hour. But then I was like, yo, what about me?

So, I say all that to say fuck work. I hope you're at work reading this right now. Take a break. I don't own this joint, do you own your office? I look like I'm working right now. If I get fired though, I will add a link to my paypal account and ask for donations.

I've been away because I got to go on a trip to the Bermuda Music Festival. Bermuda's lovely, but let me tell you the dirty truth about this 22-mile long stretch of dirt in the Atlantic.

A. Everything's crazy expensive AND the Bermudian dollar is equivalent to the US dollar so you ain't getting a break. It hurts more than buying Euros. I mean a loaf of bread is $4 in the store and gas is about $6-7 per gallon and burgers are $10-15 on average. I left my credit card in the room one day and rolled out with $20. I went to a museum that was wack, but cost me $10, then I stopped at this restaurant to eat.. I had like $12. Do you know that all I could afford was soup? After tax and gratuity, there was nothing on the menu that I could afford Then I got lucky and ran into the cutest couple on earth, fellow journalists.. They ate with me and paid for my soup. So I dropped cash on the tip..

B. There's no fast food on the island, with the exception of one KFC. (And I don't like fried chicken. I'm sorry, it just does nothing for me. It took me more than 20 years to make this confession. ) Now I never thought I'd give a shit about fast food, because a trip to Wendy's is like a treat to me. But when food is this expensive you find yourself wondering, "Where's the $1 menu when you need one?"

C. These people don't like fast food, but they also lack national dishes. I'm not the only person who noticed this. Bermuda lacks a definitive culture. One lady asked, "What reminds you of home if you don't have anything unique?" I mean, they don't have a style of music like the steel pans, soca, reggae, whatever. They don't have a unique dish, like shark and bake or curry chicken, although I'd give them fish soup. They have this spicy fish soup that's brown and quite tasty. The don't have a dialect, they sound totally British. It was a disappointment. But they do have Jamaican restaurants on the island, proof that Jamaicans do it better.

D. At 22 miles long, the speed limit is 20 mph. So it takes one -two hours to get across the damn island.. Geesh!

OK, I'm done talking shit about Bermuda. It's absolutely gorgeous. You don't need fast food and the lack of culture just means you can chill on the beach and not feel like you're missing some amazing tour. They have some tight caves that are worth visiting. The bus system is great and they play the radio on the bus which I think really helps you pass the time. I'll add a picture to this tomorrow... The water has like 200 ft visibilty, it's just perfect.

So, here's the type of stuff I only share w/ my blog buddies..

I come into my hotel room in the middle of the day, before dinner. I'm on the island alone, which is fine by me. But it is super romantic. My neighbors next door seem to have caught the vibe because they were are doing the horizontal mambo.. How do I know? I can hear them clear as day! At 4 p.m. in paradise you can hear a pin drop.

At first I was just curious, like what's that noise? Then I'm like, OK, I've identified the noise, now do I, A. Keep listening to see if they say something funny like, "Ride my pony!" or B. Turn on the TV and drown out the sound?

I never saw the neighbors so it's not like it'd be weird to listen. And I don't think sex is gross or anything. I actually briefly tried to imagine what they might look like and their ages... Based on what I heard they sounded like overweight people, or older people LOL. It would be like, bang bang bang, then silence, like they were tired from all that banging. LMAO. I'm so ashamed! Naw, I'm lying.

In the end, after an undisclosed amount of time, I determined that they weren't talkers and decided to turn on the TV. I'm always nervous about people hearing any noise out of my bedroom, since I'm unmarried and all. So I decided it was bad karma to listen.