A condom he really won’t want to wear

I was reading an AOL Black Voices blog and they were talking about this new condom that’s about to hit the market in South Africa. It’s called Rape-X, a condom that women can wear when they’re in risky situations-coming home late from work, first date, etc. If a perp penetrates, sharp microscopic barbs will insert the skin of his you-know-what. Once that happens, the condom has to be surgically removed! The article was saying that rape is a major issue in South Africa and that out of 1,370 men polled in 2005, 20 percent admitted to having raped a woman. As a result, they say the AIDS cases are through the roof and this is a needed measure. OUCH!

A new Grey?

What the hell just happened on "Grey's Anatomy"? I knew Burke wasn't going to marry Yang. I mean, that was obvious. But you know what? I damn near shed a tear with Christina when she got home and found out that dude had cleaned the place out! Burke is out..Now given Isaiah's behavior that's not a surprise. And his departure is so abrupt.

It also looks like George is leaving too. I didn't know that they had a big exam to pass. If George wasn't so busy getting eloped and committing adultery with his hot best friend, maybe he would have had more time to study. I'm not sure, but I was like, these people have been goofing off all along. Then Callie gets to be chief surgeon? That's a shock. I think Chandra Wilson's character was more qualified. I hope she sticks around. Callie and George need to stick together.

I'm glad that George didn't respond to Izzy. Make her wait until fall. I read somewhere online that T.R. Knight is coming back next season. That would add lot of explosive potential to the show. He'll have Izzy's love, baby-making issues with the wife, AND a new Grey. Speaking of Grey, I think that the drama between McDreamy and Grey is forced for season finale purposes. I'm not even thinking about those two.

Anyway, the biggest brow-raiser for me was the group of new attendees that walked in at the end. They're more diverse than the original group AND there's a chatty girl named..you'll never guess...Lexie Grey! WTF? Some Internet geeks (the kind that jump online during or after the show) say that she's Meredith's half sister. I missed it, but is this the same chick that McDreamy met in the bar? I vaguely remember Meredith having a half sister, but I thought she was younger than that. Internet people say she has more than one half sister, but they don't know about her. Does it bother anyone else that McDreamy's thinking of upgrading to a younger model of Grey? Bothers me.

Does this mean that we have to get used to a whole new cast of people? That is very risky for the show. I can't say I'm not tired of the cast, but I think they're a little annoying at this point. I am a little concerned for Ellen Pompeo, who plays Meredith Gray. Did anyone notice that she walks a little funny? Her shoulders move weird. I think she needs to chill and take some time off to bake and... maybe take a cruise with her fiance. I hear they serve tons of food on cruises, coincidentally.

The Gospel of Clayton 5:15

So I tuned into my own blog to find a deep debate going on about how women should act when a man tries to holla. This was in the "Learning to ride the bus" post. I didn't get to participate, but I thought to pull this out and make my comment. Below is one of Clay's comments on the subject. He thinks Southern girls are more polite than Northern girls. I have to say that I too have been discussing this since I've moved to D.C. And I have to represent for Southern chicks cause I'm NC born and bred.

I can't go all out and say Northern ladies are rude or mean because I don't deal with them in the same capacity as Clay and his boys. I will say that I've been told by guys that I've dated around these parts (DC) that women here are pretty demanding and rude when it comes to dating or even initial meetings. For example, I've heard that they ask for drinks, which would get you laughed at in the south. Some guys I've met are impressed when I offer to pay (for my part only, mind you) or when I try to save them a dollar or two by avoiding overpriced bullshit on a menu. That's just me putting myself in his shoes. I wouldn't waste my money on a wack date or pay $4 for a side of strawberries on my french toast (true story, I told them to keep those damn strawberries!), so why should he? While I LOVE, I mean absolutely ADORE talking shit, I think northern women are too quick to talk shit to a guy who's simply trying to give you a compliment or dares to try to get your number. Poor schmuck.

I think that the least we can do for poor losers who step to us is show them some respect, up until the point that they disrespect us. I always wish I had shut a dude down earlier or with more authority, but I hate to be that chick who made the mistake of thinking someone was trying to holla when he was only making small talk. So I wait.

Anyway, I think Clay has a valid point and I think women in the South are nicer. Although, it's all about the person doing the talking. In the south, an unmarried, educated brother with a job and no gold teeth isn't standing on every corner or asking you out. In general, I think women in the south are going to appreciate a certain type of man more than women in the north and have lower expectations when it comes to money (unless she's for sale). This could just be a matter of the size of the pond you're swimming in guys. I always joke that I'm suffering through this upsurd cost of living in DC for the love of educated penis. Cause we all know, kind of like Chris Rock says, Good-D doesn't have a job.

Another thing about being polite in the south is that we get cussed out so quickly for not responding correctly--- we quickly learn to just be nice. "You ain't gotta act like that, bitch" rolls off the tongue of ex-suiters within 10 minutes of meeting them. One minute it's love at first sight, the next, you ain't shit.

One more thing about women in the south: Why is it that every other time I say I'm from NC, dudes say "Oh you can cook then!" with wide smiles? It's like you can see biscuits and gravy dancing in their eyes. It's a myth man.. a vicious rumor that they teach southern girls how to cook in school or something. Weird. Anyway, here's the Gospel of Clayton- as Mcvay calls it:

Just take my word for it. Women and how much friendlier they are in the South has been my #2 soapbox topic for the last six months (#1 being cost-of-living/quality-of-life in.. say.. Charlotte as opposed to our nation's capitol and surrounding areas).

It is DEFINITELY a North/South thing. I don't know anything about dude at your job. I do know that while I was in school in the South I pretty much tried my hand at every chick that attracted me, unless I was in a committed relationship at the time and that wasn't very often. Of course, I lost more than I won but I never had the second thought, "What if this chick isn't interested and gives me shit as if she is offended that I stepped to her?" because that shit just didn't happen.

It wasn't until I left that area and moved northward that chicks started acting in the exact manner as was suggested above. I thought it was a "getting older" thing. Like "Damn.. Women get mean as they get older. No wonder damn near every man I meet who has been married for 5+ years tells me not to do it." Then I had the good fortune to take a trip back to Dixie and lo-and-behold.... the females were friendly or at least cordial. If they felt they were out of my league or whatever, they didn't feel the need to act like I insulted their mother and shat on the hood of their cars. It was more of a "thanks but no thanks" which is cool.

I considered that maybe it was just me but I conferred with said crew and they noticed the same thing.

I've been waiting to say this: Goodbye, 'All of Us'

Finally, at last, the CW has come to their senses and put an end to the incredible wackness that is "All of Us." That's the Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith-produced show that stars LisaRaye and Duane Martin. Now, I imagine that Duane will get more work eventually (not that he needs to act with all his other business ventures), but I'd like to place my bet that LisaRaye is done. I won't bet much because I know she has fans that will pay to see her for some crazy reason. I don't know what they're thinking. The question is, now that she doesn't have the show to use as an excuse, will she move to Turks and Caicos to be with her husband? Now I will bet one year's wages on the career of the little boy who plays Bobby. He'll never over-act again. I see commercials in his immediate future.

So this was a smart move, but I don't know what the CW was thinking when they decided to give "Girlfriends" an 8th season. The execs must have stopped watching, like the rest of us. This show needs to just roll out. Of course, I'm sure the ratings are still decent. I know that I still turn it on if I'm home out of habit.

If they had kept the show about the sisters living in the same building, we'd still have something to look at.. This reminds me of a conversation I had earlier today. I was flipping through Jet Magazine (which I think is still around because people are creatures of habit. Nana's been subscribing since the 70s, so why stop now?). At the end of the magazine they have a section called Television. It lists shows that you can catch black celebs on this week. i.e: Vanessa Williams on "Ugly Betty" Thursday at 8 p.m., Isiah Washington on "Grey's Anatomy"... I was thinking, is this really necessary? Isn't it really played out to list the places you can catch black folks on TV this week? Black people are officially on TV every single day. I was just laughing at how they seem to be trapped in some time capsule where they think this page is needed. They need to use it to showcase an up-and-coming star. Just my two cents.

In closing, I'm wearing a pair of pants today that were too tight weeks ago. This brings me joy. I think it's because I had a turkey sandwich for dinner last night.

learning to ride the bus

So, I've been learning to ride the bus since I got to DC more than a year ago. It's hard. The schedules are written in special code and the buses aren't on time so it's hard to know which one is which. The hardest part is knowing which side of the street to stand on to catch the "D8" moving in your direction.

I learned another lesson in bus riding over the weekend.
Rule #42: Never hop on a bus that stops in the middle of the street to let you on.

So, I'm waiting on a bus that should be heading to the train stop less than a mile away. I looked it up on the Metro web site, so I know what I'm looking for. Suddenly a bus with the same number comes rolling by on the other side of the street. I start walking in the direction it's heading just in case there's a bus stop I didn't see. So, the bus driver stops and opens his window to ask me if I need to get on, or something. I ask if he's going to the Rhode Island Metro and he says yes. All he has to do is loop around and he's going right that way. He made it sound like he was about to go around the block and head toward the station. What the hell do I know? This is my first time catching this bus.

So I ask him, "Is that a bus stop?" And he's like, just come on. So he opens the door. There are people on the bus already so I cross the street and get on.

Why did the loop include like 4 stops, the last one being about 2 miles from where I was picked up? Then why did he look at me and say, I just have to pull over and sit for 5 minutes to reset the bus and make sure it takes off on time. I'm like great. I look around and NO ONE else is on the bus. Just my dumb ass. Super!

Then the conversation starts. So, where you heading? Why didn't your boyfriend pick you up? What do you do? blah, blah, blah.

I'm giving friendly but short answers. Meanwhile I'm reading the hell out of a bus schedule like I have a pop quiz to pass later. He eventually says, I'm going to leave you alone. Ahh, relief.
Then he says, I'm not trying to kidnap you. If another bus comes around heading to the Metro you can get on it.

Kidnap? Who said kidnap? Why would you kidnap me? That's when I start to look out of the window into the darkness realizing that I'm the only person on a random bus on a quiet side street and completely helpless. The only thing I have going for me is that bus drivers like their jobs. Plus, dude was harmless.. until he used the K-word.

As if all of that wasn't bad enough. He wraps up his five minute wait with a corny statement like, "Well, it was nice talking to you. It feels good just to pretend I could have a woman like you." WHAT? You were pretending? What a fking weirdo! That's when the last 15 minutes a;; came rushing back to me. He picked me up knowing I needed to go the opposite direction and that we'd be on the bus alone. I even remember him waking up one kid to tell him that we were at the end of the line. On top of all that, the Metro I wanted to go to wasn't the next stop. It was seven minutes away. 7+5+5... hmm wonder how many trips I could have made to the metro from my house in that time frame?
I actually wanted to catch a train to the station that this bus was going to next, but he creeped me out to the point that I didn't want to ride with him anymore. So I get to the train station and had to wait 14 chilly minutes above ground for my train. He nearly ruined my lovely evening! Plus, it was weird.
Don't take favors from bus drivers, folks. That's all I'm saying.

Bus stories have been recurring in my life lately. I should play the numbers.

Grey's spin off

Tell me you saw "Grey's Anatomy" last night! I knew it would be long, but that shit felt like it was on ALL night. Of all the characters they could spin off, I never thought it would be Addison. I thought it would be Izzy, for real. Speaking of Izzy, I hate the "thing" between her and George. It's such a stupid story line. Why would she want George? I wasn't even clear on what Callie saw in George, but I let it slide because, hey, there's someone for everyone.

Back to Addison's show. I think one thing we can all agree on is that there's a sunny side to the spin off.. Taye Diggs is back on TV every week. Am I right? I was pining for that smooth cocoa complexion and those dimples.. [exhale]. He reminds me of a chocolate chip.

So I read someone else's blog about this and I wish I hadn't because now their thoughts are commingled with mine. Anyway, that person pointed out that the cast of the spin off, which takes place at a California hospital, are older but more horny than the "Grey's Anatomy" cast. Now older is easy to do, but hornier? It's true. There were more steamy lip locks last night than a telenovela. I felt damn-near inspired. It made me want to meet a stranger who would offer me his tongue to cheer me up. Oh, if you missed it: Addison wants to have kids now that she's divorced and no longer dating the man she cheated on her husband with. It seems like she's leaving two doctors (McSteamy and McDreamy) in Seattle to get a sperm donor. HA! Anyway, she finds out she can't have kids... something is wrong with her something. Long story short, she's in the stairwell of the hospital crying, like any professional woman would, and a sexy guy who works there stops to flirt with her. She "kirks" out, as the kids say these days, and starts saying how she's dried up. So he says "I'm going to kiss you now. With tongue." And he does, and she quivers, and suddenly she reminds me of the red-head "Band Camp" chick from American Pie. Don't ask me why. So of course she has to ask, "Why'd you do that?" [As if her breakdown wasn't a cry for attention] and he says he wanted to remind her that she's not dried up. "Let me know if you need me to remind you again..." Whatever.

This show could be alright, if you like your TV smutty. Meredith lost another family member last night too, this time it was her step mother. Which reminds me! She got smacked by her dad. She said the stepmom would be fine and only had the hiccups. Guess not. He was pretty pissed about that.

I think I'd have to vote yes for the new show, but it can't come on the same night as Grey's because they're too much alike. They'll surely run out of medical mysteries. If they want to keep all of these new characters, they should merge the hospitals and run the show bi-weekly. There's barely enough room for all of the characters to breath as is. I think George could be transferred to the new hospital if things go well. That'd be nice I think. Although Izzie thinks it'd be "unfair" wah, wah, wah.. it's all about her. I can't wait for Callie to find out Izzie shagged her husband and kisses him on elevators and in little closests. She's going to open a can of plus size whoop ass.

What I missed was the incident that sent Addison to Santa Monica. What'd that mean guy do? Someone tell me. I also wonder if he may be falling for the chick who lost her memory, they sure do talk a lot.

Slap me once shame on you..Slap me twice shame on...me? Wait. Slap me ya ain't gon' slap me again!

So I'm shuffling through some hip-hop news, cause I get paid to, and I ran into this article about Talib Kweli (new album hits stores June 19 and I think I'm copping it) getting smack by his girlfriend at a party. The couple went to a shindig at Fiddy Cent's crib and they had already been arguing at home. So they start drinking and the shit gets started again, this time she pimp slaps him in front of other people and witnesses say that he started crying. lol.

Now that last part just sounds like some funny shit to add at the end. Like, "Man, I was at 50's house this weekend and Talib Kweli was there arguing with his girlfriend. She smacked the shit out of him."
"Word?! "
"I saw it myself. Then I heard that he was crying in the bathroom a few minutes later."
"Did she use baby powder?"
"You know what? I thought I saw her pull something out of her purse!"

It just doesn't make sense. The article on Allhiphop.com said that Talib owned up to the argument on the air with Miss Jones in New York.

"I was at 50's house and I got into an argument with my girl and it got physical. Wasn't nobody going into a room and crying. I'm a passionate dude and sometimes women get passionate. She got out of pocket and she got checked. It was an ugly situation for both parties and it didn't make either one of us look good. I'm glad its over with."

He also said:

"[Alcohol] had something to do with it," he admitted. I got passion in my life and sometimes, as a result it bubbles over. If you are in a relationship...yeah, she was out of pocket for that."

And will he take her back after she emasculated him in front of colleagues and fans?

"That was something small compared to the relationship," Kweli said. "She wasn't trying to play me. She was upset and something I did so she was being disrespectful, because she was upset about something that had happened before."

Shhhhiiiiitt... I WISH A MUTHAFKA WOULD put his hands on me. It really shouldn't matter that she's a woman. Well, maybe it matters a little. It's not like she hurt him. But how are you gonna disrespect him in front of all those people? And his persona keeps them living the high life. What if fans say, "I'm not buying that album because he's a battered boyfriend," which is really wack. Then he'll be riding the D train out of neccessity, not just to keep it real.

You can't let things go that far, really their main problem is that they fight like that at home. Clearly they have a physical relationship and now it's spilling into the public. "Passionate.." That's one word for it.

Hollywood style

I saw this picture online of Kim Kardashian and the first thought I had was: "Look how people dress in L.A. " She looks like she's out shopping... in a silver stripper outfit. It's as if she's late for a Pussycat Dolls audition. I have an associate who lives in L.A. and wears next to nothing also. Now usually, I could care less about what my friends wear. But this chick actually made ME uncomfortable. She'd wear a bikini top under a see-through shirt, micro shorts with high heels or my favorite: a white wife beeter with no bra that's been cut in half to expose her stomach (not the mid-drift). Stomach and nipples in broad daylight? Come on people, you've got to draw the line somewhere. NO she's not a stripper or a call girl. It's pretty hard to make me aware of the fact that I'm from a small city in North Carolina.. but these outfits did it. I get that you love attention, but where's your modesty? Do you think Kim dressed like this before she became a mulitmillion dollar porno star?